Dont know what to do :(

[fillymum]

My amazing mum passed away suddeny on Sunday and I feel so lost x everything just seems so hard x my kids are begging me to put up Christmas decorations but it feels so wrong x don't think there is any real point to it x just want my mum x

I can empathise with you 100% as my MIL died the Saturday before.

Your mum is such an important person in your life. The loss is enormous. I still miss mine and she died 10 years ago.

All I can say to you is that it is of the utmost importance that Christmas goes ahead in an as near to normal way as possible. I agree with all that has been said about having something special there for your mum.

It will be really hard for you. Possibly one of the hardest things you have ever had to do. Your kids need it.

Why don't you buy a special poinsettia that is just for your mum and make that the focal point of your Christmas. I hope you understand what I mean by that. My husband could not make it to his mothers funeral on Monday of this week so I bought her favourite pot plant, a violet, lit a candle to her and sat with her ( in spirit) for an hour at the time of her funeral. I promise you it really help and now that plant has become so important.

Nothing I can say to you will make it any better or any easier but the funeral has to be got through. You must cry if you need to. If that is your way bawl your eyes out. I envy the religions that allow the women folk to scream and bawl. Do not worry what anyone else thinks. You need to mourn your mum in your way.

I think it's the Jewish who sit Shiva? ( forgive me if thats wrong) The closest bereaved sits on a low stool and visitors come and talk about the person who has died, share memories and stories of them. It's very therapeutic and been proven to be a healthy way to grieve so talk about her often even if through tears and remember the good times xxxxxxx

As I am from a Jewish background Shirleen I can tell you you are right.

When you talk about your loved one it does eventually become a joy to remember them and all the wonderful and good times with them.

It helped so much to talk about my mother.

I have put the tree up and have put a new angel on top and brought a baubles that you can put a picture in x I will have Christmas for the kids but don't feel right celebrating it myself x I think I am in shock still and am terrified about the funeral next week x

Well done !!!!! and of course you are still in shock.

I do not know you but my heart goes out to you,

hugs and love xxxxxxxx

 

[Bunnylush]

I have put the tree up and have put a new angel on top and brought a baubles that you can put a picture in x I will have Christmas for the kids but don't feel right celebrating it myself x I think I am in shock still and am terrified about the funeral next week x

Well done, i hope you find the strength or support for the funeral. My friend came from her Dads on Friday ,saying how peaceful it was,and what a beautiful resting place he's in. Sending you big hugs , let other people help you x