Caz
Repeat Offender
I've had an extremely difficult and emotional day which today has proved to me that the old Caroline isn't gone, she's just lurking under the surface but that she doesn't have to win. I'm the kind of person who when things are difficult, I find it easy to get lost in food. Oh a little chocolate, that'll cheer me up. Or how about some wine, things like that.
Like I said, today has been an extremely difficult and emotional day for me and my reaction as soon as I got home earlier, at lunch time and needing something to eat, was that I should find myself a whole load of comfort food to feel better. I found myself wondering how much chocolate etc. I could get away with without royally screwing things up. But for the first time in my life, I realised that those things won't do anything. They won't fix my situation. They won't make things right. And they sure as hell won't make me feel any better about the situation, myself or my weight. So I didn't, I didn't have chocolate, I didn't have wine, I didn't have anything but a healthy lunch and just treated myself to a lemon and lime mousse (65 calories so it's allowable!).
I've realised how much I relied on food as comfort. But I've also realised how little it helped. It may make us feel better in the short term but, if you guys are anything like me, we just end up feeling worse afterwards because the original issue isn't gone and we've then overindulged and beat ourselves up about that too!
I don't really know why I'm even posting this. I guess writing things helps me think things through properly. And I guess if some people see this and think yeah, that's me, I do that they might see that if I can get passed it, anyone can.
Like I said, today has been an extremely difficult and emotional day for me and my reaction as soon as I got home earlier, at lunch time and needing something to eat, was that I should find myself a whole load of comfort food to feel better. I found myself wondering how much chocolate etc. I could get away with without royally screwing things up. But for the first time in my life, I realised that those things won't do anything. They won't fix my situation. They won't make things right. And they sure as hell won't make me feel any better about the situation, myself or my weight. So I didn't, I didn't have chocolate, I didn't have wine, I didn't have anything but a healthy lunch and just treated myself to a lemon and lime mousse (65 calories so it's allowable!).
I've realised how much I relied on food as comfort. But I've also realised how little it helped. It may make us feel better in the short term but, if you guys are anything like me, we just end up feeling worse afterwards because the original issue isn't gone and we've then overindulged and beat ourselves up about that too!
I don't really know why I'm even posting this. I guess writing things helps me think things through properly. And I guess if some people see this and think yeah, that's me, I do that they might see that if I can get passed it, anyone can.
