Em's Journey to a Butterfly

[Em_Butterfly]

Hi all

I thought I would start a diary to document my progress and to help keep me focused on the end goal!

My name is Emma and I'm 29. I have done every diet going, from Weight Watchers and Slimming World to Slim Fast and the Cambridge Diet. I stayed on the CD for several months back in 2007 and got down to a size 12 and around 11.5 stone; I remember wearing bikinis on holiday in Cyrus with my friends. Unfortunately, I didn't tackle the issues that lead to me putting all the weight back on, and some.

I now weigh 113kg - does anyone know what this is in stones and lbs? An Internet search was throwing up both 17 stone 8lbs and 17 stone 11lbs? Either way, this is the heaviest I have ever been and I'm do unhappy with what I see in the mirror. I'm only 29 and yet I feel frumpy and unattractive, I really want to be wearing more fashionable clothes and feeling confident.

So this is it, I've got to get this weight off before I'm 30! I'm trying to picture myself having a birthday bash wearing an amazing dress which shows off my new slender body whilst sipping on champagne!

I'm on day 3 now. This week I've chosen:

1x Curry soup - yuck!
1x Chicken soup - ok
1x Veg soup - yet to try
1x Minestrone soup - yet to try

Then the rest of my food packs are split between the vanilla, strawberry, banana and chocolate shakes. Can't say I'm particularly enjoying any of them as I'm sti getting used to the taste but, after a suggestion on here, I'm using a hand blender which is helping. I keep thinking back to the tetra packs on CD but I need to get used to these as I know the weekly sessions will be invaluable. I think I might just live on the banana shakes and peppermint tea with a sweetener! There is a drop in session today so I might go and swap some of the packs, roll on next week when I can have the bars!

I need to up my water intake, had about 2lts of plain fizzy water yesterday but I want to aim for 3-4 today and just keep taking sips.

I had a headache all day yesterday and bad breath so I did a stick last night and it looks like I'm in ketosis already.

My aim today is to finish all four packs (I have poured a bit down the drain as I couldn't stomach any more, very naughty I know!) and to drink plenty of water. I am also moisturising twice a day with Palmer's Firming Lotion as I did get some loose skin on the top of my breasts (hate that word!) when I did CD. I am also using Bio Oil as I had an operation last year, but also to deal with the old stretch marks! I'm hoping these two plus water will help my skin remain firm!

Anyway, here is to day 3!

Em

 

[Em_Butterfly]

I would like to get down to 10 stone as I'm only 5ft 3 and so I'm aiming to be slim for the summer

 

[BlondeGem]

Hi Em!

You sound pretty positive and determined which is great. You've done a similar diet before so you know you can do it.

I make your weight from kg to stones and pounds as 17st 10.5lbs, but I might not have worked it out correctly so don't take my word for it!

Good luck and I look forward to reading your diary!

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Thank you for working that out, blondegem. That sounds about right! Although it's not actually what I weigh now as I popped in to LL this morning and I've already lost 5lbs! I'm pretty ecstatic, especially considering I only started on Thursday!

I've had a pretty good day 3 so far. I went get my nails done and bought some breath freshener from Boots - my Counsellor said it was fine to use it. I think I'm going to keep getting my nails done every few weeks as a treat, they use Cagel which lasts for about 3 - 4 weeks. I did have to walk past Nandos, McDonalds and Pizza Hut which was slightly painful though! It did make me feel so hungry and I questioned whether to eat or not; I was actually wondering whether being slim quickly without food was better than doing it slowly with the food. I have calorie counted etc in the past but the food I am craving right now isn't salad so I clearly need the education that LL can give me. I can do this!

When I got home I tried a chilli con carni pack which I swapped this morning and I ACTUALLY LIKED IT! I added a bit of pepper and Tabasco to improve the taste but it was so nice to chew something!! All I have left are banana, strawberry and vanilla shakes now but next week I will have a shake for breakfast and lunch, a chilli for dinner and then a bar for 'desert'! Can't wait to have the bars!

Having a long bath now, then taking the dogs out and then just gonna watch some tv. I do feel very tired today and a bit out of it. Got a load of work to do tomorrow so I hope I feel more alive then!

Em

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Day 4

I woke up at about 7am which is pretty much the norm for the weekend as I get up at around 6am on week days. I stayed in bed and just read about LL on different web forums, there are some absolutely amazing stories and a lot of people keen to get fit and healthy - very inspiring!

Today I'm going to have 2x strawberry and one vanilla and banana. Really wish I had more chilli con carni!! I'm wondering whether I will like the shepherds pie too?

Trying to take each day as it comes, feel
I have a mammoth task ahead of me with around 104lbs to lose. Trying not to think that I will have to stay on plan for at least 6 months and just focus on the here and now. That said, I'm planning to book a week away somewhere hot for August and will probably go to Spain in July to visit a relative so I'm focusing on wearing a bikini by then! Also can't wait to shock people who I wouldn't have seen in a while with a much slimmer body!

Back to work tomorrow, hoping I feel more energetic for day 5!

Hope you are all having a good Sunday so far?

Em

 

[Debbi8489]

Hi Emma

You sound like you are having a good start to the plan! Did you get any bars for this week? The bars are great! I like the shepherds pie, but feel its needs quite a bit of tabasco to give it a kick. I'm not so keen on the chilli.

My tip for you would be to focus one day at a time, sometimes one pack at a time. I had a vague notion of being at target at the end of December, but didnt really think about it. I just thought about each day

Good luck with your journey xx

 

[BlondeGem]

I get the calgel nails done too and love them! Mine can last anything up to around 6 weeks if I get them done pretty short.

It's a great way to treat yourself! Do you get a colour or french manicure style?

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Hi!

Good advice Debbi, I'm going to try and take it a day at a time! I'm going to try the Shepherds Pie when I go on Wednesday. Will finally be able to get the bars then too as I would have completed a week on the programme. Any recommendations for the bars?

Wow, BlondeGem - they last a long time! Mine started to chip in week 3 last time so maybe I'll ask for them to be cut shorter next time. I've got a kind of mushroom colour on now, what've you got?

Well, day 4 is over! Made an amazing discovery! I read that crushed ice makes the shakes a lot better but my hand blender doesn't have that function so today I got a new Kenwood Wizzard hand blender and I love it! Not only does it crush ice but it comes with a pot which is exactly the right size for making LL shakes. Not only that, but the shakes made with crushed ice were SO nice! Made then taste like Angel Delight!

Monday tomorrow boo!

Em

 

[nzmegs]

Hey Em, I love crushed ice shakes too. it is well worth the blender investment. try having the shakes with a straw too as it makes them last longer and they are nicer. A few minutes in the freezer (but not longer than ten as the nutrients will "die off") will harden it into an icecream. Strawberry are my favourite.

I am sure you will do fine on wednsesday. A few pounds off is often all the incentive you need to keep going for another week.

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Got through Monday, day 5! Had horrendous thigh ache this morning, I've no idea why?! I took two pain killers and that nipped it in the bid but driving to work for 40 minutes was so painful!!

Yesterday I started using weights on my arms, I'm really worried about excess skin as my arms are quite flabby (nice!) I've got one of those weird ones that you kind of shake... Can't remember what it's called! I also got this vibrating thing which you can wrap around any body part and it's supposed to enhance circulation so I slapped that on both arms, you never know it might help! It was only £4.99 from Comet and it's by Homemedics so can't be too bad!

Am really struggling to have 4 shakes a day, the first one is nice but then I've had enough so I usually manage 3. I just can't stomach any more I can't wait to get the bars and the chilli and shep meals because I'm getting sick of the Strawberry! Although, you're right nzmegs - the blender makes them actually taste nice! I'm just more of a savoury person but the soups are disgusting! Good tip about the freezer, will try that tomorrow!

Right, it's Monday so it's soap night!! Nothing like a bit of trashy tv to take your mind of LL!

Roll on Weds and BARS, SHEP PIE, CHILLI and WATER FLAVOURING!!

Em

P.S. I am already starting to feel slimmer, is this possible?!

 

[Debbi8489]

Hi Emma

I'd recommend the nut fudge bar. You might also like the crispy cranberry and raspberry. I wasnt that keen on the other two. What about porridge? Its fairly sweet, sweeter than I would make it myself (I'm fairly traditional with my porridge and add nothing, no sugar and no salt lol).

Also with your shakes, if you've got vanilla or chocolate, you can add a teaspoon of coffee to make a latte/mocha. That kept me going as I really missed milk in my coffee. Delighted to have it back now, although I'm still taking my tea black. Strange

Debbi xx

 

[nzmegs]

I recommend the bars too. Nice with a cup of tea. But I have had to cut them out this week as I think they were causing me to stall in my weight loss. So perhaps go easy on them to start. I found that nut crisp bar the most filling.

I have heard that strong peppermint tea added to a chocolate shake is really nice. yet to try it, but might b worth a go. I would let the tea go cold first though.

Good luck with your weigh in tomorrow.

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Good ideas Debbi and nzmegs! I like the coffee and peppermint tea flavourings, I'll try that out. I hope I don't have the same reaction to the bars, someone at my group had that problem too.

Day 6
Not had a great day to be honest. I've been 100% but feel so hungry and depressed. Think I've hit the wall so having a bath to try and stop thinking. Really in desperate need for weigh in and meeting. I'm on a course tomorrow with people I won't know and it's going to be a bit awkward as obviously I won't eat. Might just go outside for 'fresh air' for a bit. It's so hard. How do people do this for months on end.

Don't think I can do this. Miss food too much I'm so annoyed I've put on this weight.

Em

 

[eatlikeabird]

Give yourself a chance to get into a routine. It does get easier. Just take it week by week, and soon you will have done a month.

 

[Debbi8489]

Give yourself a chance to get into a routine. It does get easier. Just take it week by week, and soon you will have done a month.

^^^what she said...listen to us wise old birds

Seriously, I did it for nearly 6 months. I didnt think I could do it. I only started to loose a couple of stone, that would have suited me. But you know what? See tomorrow after you have been weighed, you will feel fan-flipping-tastic.

One day at a time, one pack at a time and then one day, you will realise that you CAN do this. You can do anything, because you are just like me and ELAB, you are fabulous xx

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Thank you SO MUCH for your support!! You are both AMAZING! Just wanted to let you know that I'm in London on my course and I've been so good. Just told the other ladies on the course what I'm doing and they were so supportive, just about to go and sit with them whilst they eat with a coffee. Really pleased with myself as this was a big test for me! Having a great day, course is really good and met some lovely people

Can't thank you enough!!

Emma x

 

[nzmegs]

Keeping busy can be a great way to take your mind off things. It is in the evenings that i feel at my worst. All my packs are gone, I can't indulge in my usual evening snack and I just feel like it is all a bit pointless. Then i get up in the morning and just carry on - some good days and some bad.

But think about it....before, how would you have dealt with feeling down? By eating? And how would that have made you feel - worse than you feel on the diet?

The fact is that what you are doing and the journey you have started is making you healthier and happier day by day. Evry day you stick to it is one day closer to being the person you deserve to be. No more guilt, no more down days over your weight, no more feeling like the butt of everyones jokes (the list goes on)

The way this diet can make you feel sometimes (feeling a bit down or frustrated) is nowhere near as bad as all of those nasty feelings you had before. And you have so much that is positive to build you back up again.

Just take it day by day and remember to congratulate yourself on what you have already achieved!

 

[BlondeGem]

Keep going Em, it will be so worth it when you step on those scales!

I've got a dark purple colour on my nails at the mo, love it!