End of week 27 - the Immense UPS and the mild downs - getting it into perspective!

[Cerulean]

Well - I'm getting there and I look fabulous, but for the record just so you know, these are the current upsides downsides (I don't need any geeing up, I already know when I do this list how much the upsides will make me SMILE! - I just want to record how one feels when one gets close to goal because it's a tricky time for a lot of of us)

It is tough, I am having to work hard at sticking to the plan. I even did a 'naughty' on Wednesday and had a can of Coke Zero which made me feel weird (have never bent the rules like that before so there is evidence of some 'beginning of the end' behaviour - almost like it's the end of term!)

Downsides

• I think I look a bit old in some photos - I know this is just the fact that my dropped bodyfat means that I look a bit temporarily gaunt
• I want to eat again but know that I can't until I'm done and it makes me antsy when I get home from work - nothing I can do for myself is quite cutting it for me I want to start eating again - the packs don't feel like enough any more. I think my 'thinness' is having a psychological impact on me.
• My periods are on strike (this is sort of good - but I don't like not having one)
• Men are interested in me. I am cross about this because I was interested in them before but they all ran away saying I was too fat (no, really!) before.
• I have never been so uninterested in sex or men in my entire life. This is very disorientating. But I realise that my interest in sex before was probably fat me over-compensating for something.
• The hair is falling out - not badly, it's not thinning, but I am shedding! (Maybe it's my summer moult!)

Upsides

• I feel fabulous, healthy, fit and elegant
• I have the body I dreamed of having as a teenager
• I have so much self-confidence - I am cheekier, sweeter, more forward without being pushy like I was when I was bigger - I don;t feel the need to compensate.
• Instead of thinking 'what do they think of me' I am thinking 'what do I think of them?'
• I have earned more money from my creative work this month than ever before. If I could work 8 days a month at this pace I would be earning enough to live from comfortably! I would never have had the chutzpah to do this before (or ask for the time off from my dayjob to actually pursue these projects)
• I can wear the most beautiful clothes. I am eyeing up the new season's Vivienne Westwood and bless her heart she's made the perfect dress and blazer for me and I will order them in a medium!
• I can walk home in a skirt (thigh rubbing meant I always had to change into trousers)
• I have sorted out my money.
• My flat and life has never been in this much order
• I am reading more
• Writing more
• Getting out of the house more
• I feel free!
• I have never called myself a happy person. Until this month.

 

[Mrs Lard]

Dear Sarah

Wonderful post. Simply wonderful. A joy to read about your transformation (and a bit of a tear-jerker at the end)! In a good way, obviously!!!

If you don't mind, I am going to post a question with a cut and paste from your blog, as I can't comment on it and I think it may be useful for other minis and hopefully direct them to your blog too!

Well done although well done seems so inadequate a phrase for what you are achieving.

With love.

Mrs Lxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[silhouettes]

that was a great post, really inspiring and interesting to read.
thank you

 

[tishtosh]

Inspiring Sarah - thank you

 

[Cerulean]

Sigh - another down....I am now a 32G. This means I can't buy any nice bras. They're all horrible at this size with stupid straps. No wonder no one in this country wears a bra that fits them - we force ourselves into the pretty bras because the ones that actually fit look like they were made for matrons.

 

[Mrs Lard]

Rigby and Peller, Rigby and Peller, Rigby and Peller.

They will sort you out with some beautiful bras; don't be down! You have an amazing figure. And R&P's sale is still on, I think.

Mrs L xxxxx

 

[Cerulean]

Sorry Mrs L but that was Rigby and Peller that made me feel like this. They had 2 black bras in my size and the white ones looked remedial. I came out so so so so depressed.

 

[Cerulean]

And yes - the sale is still on - but nothing in my size apart from a turquoise bra that had no pants to match.

 

[Mrs Lard]

Oh dear, I am so sorry. I will email you a personal message with someone to see.

That is absolutely NO good and they should have made you feel hopeful no hopeless! I am frustrated on your behalf!

Mrs L xx

PS did you get my post/question about management?

 

[Cerulean]

Yes I did - I replied to one of them earlier but the box ate my very lengthy answer and then I posted a short answer. Haven't been in the zone to rewrite my answer today alas.

 

[Mrs Lard]

Oh, sorry; wasn't meaning to hassle you! Totally understand not being in the mood.

Take care. Personal message has been sent. xxx

 

[chunkychicken]

Cerulean - Bravissimo is the answer to the bra problem. Ok, they are not quite in Rigby and Peller's league - but every bra in their range goes up to a G cup and there are some beautiful ones.

Bravissimo | Big Bras, Lingerie, Swimwear and Clothing for big boobed women

I have also started buying their clothing range as I have always struggled to find fitted tops that didn't gape on the waist or stretch horribly over the chest. They do 8 to 16 in 3 different ranges (curvy, really curvy and super curvy) depending on the ratio of bust to waist you have.

You may already know about them and have wanted something really special from rigby and Peller (which I also lust after but they only do one bra in my size) but I thought if you didn't you would be seriously missing out.

Hope this helps
Laura

 

[In search of me]

Can totaly relate to the bra frustraton - I've gone from a 44D to 36 E!! What that about eh! Am really hoping they even out over time or I'll be totally top heavy!

 

[AmandaJayne]

Loved reading your thread Cerulean, its posts like this that really can inspire and encourage others who are struggling or just finding the day in day out boredom of soups and shakes a real bind. You have reminded us why we do it/did it!

I particularly identify with your comments about being able to wear a skirt because thighs no longer rub. This summer holiday I was able to wear dresses all day in baking heat while walking around sightseeing, with no sweating all over the place, no rubbing anywhere, no beetroot face struggling to cope with the heat. It was fab. The kids struggled to keep up with me for a change.

 

[In search of me]

Fab post, especially the bit about feeling HAPPY!! Can totally relate to that but will be ecstatic when I get to goal if I feel so happy now! Keep up the good work & fab writing. There is an article in psychologies (this month) about the artists way by the way...just thought you would like to know!