Cerulean
Silver Member
Well - I'm getting there and I look fabulous, but for the record just so you know, these are the current upsides downsides (I don't need any geeing up, I already know when I do this list how much the upsides will make me SMILE! - I just want to record how one feels when one gets close to goal because it's a tricky time for a lot of of us)
It is tough, I am having to work hard at sticking to the plan. I even did a 'naughty' on Wednesday and had a can of Coke Zero which made me feel weird (have never bent the rules like that before so there is evidence of some 'beginning of the end' behaviour - almost like it's the end of term!)
Downsides
Upsides
It is tough, I am having to work hard at sticking to the plan. I even did a 'naughty' on Wednesday and had a can of Coke Zero which made me feel weird (have never bent the rules like that before so there is evidence of some 'beginning of the end' behaviour - almost like it's the end of term!)
Downsides
- I think I look a bit old in some photos - I know this is just the fact that my dropped bodyfat means that I look a bit temporarily gaunt
- I want to eat again but know that I can't until I'm done and it makes me antsy when I get home from work - nothing I can do for myself is quite cutting it for me I want to start eating again - the packs don't feel like enough any more. I think my 'thinness' is having a psychological impact on me.
- My periods are on strike (this is sort of good - but I don't like not having one)
- Men are interested in me. I am cross about this because I was interested in them before but they all ran away saying I was too fat (no, really!) before.
- I have never been so uninterested in sex or men in my entire life. This is very disorientating. But I realise that my interest in sex before was probably fat me over-compensating for something.
- The hair is falling out - not badly, it's not thinning, but I am shedding! (Maybe it's my summer moult!)
Upsides
- I feel fabulous, healthy, fit and elegant
- I have the body I dreamed of having as a teenager
- I have so much self-confidence - I am cheekier, sweeter, more forward without being pushy like I was when I was bigger - I don;t feel the need to compensate.
- Instead of thinking 'what do they think of me' I am thinking 'what do I think of them?'
- I have earned more money from my creative work this month than ever before. If I could work 8 days a month at this pace I would be earning enough to live from comfortably! I would never have had the chutzpah to do this before (or ask for the time off from my dayjob to actually pursue these projects)
- I can wear the most beautiful clothes. I am eyeing up the new season's Vivienne Westwood and bless her heart she's made the perfect dress and blazer for me and I will order them in a medium!
- I can walk home in a skirt (thigh rubbing meant I always had to change into trousers)
- I have sorted out my money.
- My flat and life has never been in this much order
- I am reading more
- Writing more
- Getting out of the house more
- I feel free!
- I have never called myself a happy person. Until this month.