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Enlighten's last attempt diary

This diary is my last attempt to achieve my ultimate goal - I really want this, I want it in 2010 and I feel I need to put it in writing.

I am starting this daily diary as my daily motivator. I have now 70 pounds to lose thanx to my royal tumble off the wagon. That's 20lbs up from November, and I must admit though I was sick most of that time, I used it as an excuse to eat and drink myself silly.

No more - this is it. I am now accountable to myself ... feel free to input or not, it'll be loads of blah blah, but I pledge to write on this forum every night and report how I did and what I ate.
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new year new start xxx
Good luck with your journey. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all fall off the wagon. The main thing is that you're here to try again. Well done.

I'm also back for my 2nd and final attempt. I thought i knew better than doing the step up process last time and here i am again. Will definately not be making that mistake again.

As Kerryberry said: New Year, New Start x
So, end of day 1 - I don't know if it's because I've just had loads of food for the past few days, but I was not in the least bit hungry today. Mad stuff at work today so I kept real busy. oatmeal for breakfast, soup for lunch and 2 oatmeals for dinner. Drank 3l of water, so no headache.

I was madly tempted to nibble as I was fixing DS his food, but I resisted. I recruited DH's help for the feeding though, as I don't think I would have resisted some nibbles here and there.

Feeling very tired, so I won't stay up too late tonite. Also did my sculpting workout this am. So I'm all good for today.
Hope tomorrow will be a repeat... It's so cold right now, I jsut dread the bone chills I got in the Fall, well, will take out the thermal stuff.
end of day 2

Why oh why can't life just stop when we are doing CD?? My best friend is leaving for the US tomorrow (she's been staying with us for the holidays) and she asked for me to cook burgers for her last meal (i know, ironic as she's going back to the US) :rolleyes:
So I made the burgers and had half a patty - fresh off the bbq on some salad (no sauce no nuthin'), so it was contained, but I realise life goes on around me (2 dinners to attend) and I just wonder how/where I can go to isolate myself!

Today : 1 porridge, 1.5 soup, 1 bar, .5 burger patty with lettuce and tomatoes, 3.5l water and 2 Coke zero. Lower body sculpting this morning

Tomorrow is another day - must do much better!! I really really want to get to goal :cry:
Day 3 and 4

Well I got in my exercise and water yesterday. Foodwise it was a joke.. and I hated myself for it. Started off so well - 1 porridge and 1l water, got busy running errands and far from home so I had some chicken... when I finally got home in the eve, even with all my water down, I was just ravenous... ended up having a soup, another porridge and a bar... but I was hungry in my head, not my stomach, so I started to scour my house for food and ended up eating some more chicken.

Yet another attempt at SS today.. so far so good, plus I'm at the office, so I'm sure I'll get my water down. I've had a porridge and brought my soup in for lunch. I've had 1.5 l of water today, but I must admit, it's raining so hard here, it makes drinking a bit difficult. I've also brought in 1/2 a bar.

I was wondering what pushed my buttons yesterday, I think the fact that my best friend left may have been a factor. I also think the fact that I had a long period without eating defo did me in. I hear of people who can stay all day without eating and then have all their packs at once, I don't think I'm one of those. I have to have breakfast, I need something during lunch, but I can't go overboard because beyond 6pm is my weakness.

I think tonight I will have oatmeal and a mam. Being that it's friday night, it might tide me over. Also I'm gonna get my three days of SS in fri-sun. Weirdly enough, I find it easier if I set my mind to it to ss on the weekends, so hopefully I will be in keto by Monday.

I will also see by mon if i poas, if it changes colors, I've never ever had it change colors in the past, so maybe after a restart, I will report full keto. Well, at work, bored but must get some work done.


Creating my life
Chicken is not criminal! On this diet carbs are. You have been doing great. Keep going. If you feel the need to eat often move to SS+. I'm on it and I love my mini tea.
I know it's not criminal, they were normal portions too. What gets me is how "little" control I have, and I'm not beating myslef over it, but I read on here tons of advice on how not to give in to temptation, and I try them really, but i CANNOT get a grip on myself once I get started. This is what is making me so sad


Creating my life
Ok. KD our wise dieting wizard on here suggests using the 'pause' method. I'm sure she can describe it better than me bu the gist is that if you want something to eat you say, 'Ok if I want this in ten minutes then I can have it.' Then in ten minutes you've normally forgotten about it but if not then you decide whether to eat it or pause again.

Sometimes telling ourselves we absolutely can't have something makes us just crazy for it. That's probably what's going on here. Try telling yourself you can but not quite yet.
Well I don't know what happened but I thought I had posted this am. Anyhoo, so the week ended and though there were a few blips and blunders along the way, I ended up losing 6lbs. Not what I hoped for, but the weekend was good, allowed me to get to 100%.

Day 8 - Just a great day CD-wise.... had all my water, didn't cheat or nibble. So I'm off to a promising start, maybe the scale same time next week will show the same kind of loss (I'm hoping more).

I think I'm in ketosis, but the stick, as usual is still the same shade of beige... oh well, I'm not hungry, so that's usually my indicator that i'm in the "zone". I've been reading all the new post from wonderful new people... kinda gives me a boost for my restart.
glad to hear its all going well I am sure now your in the zone it will be easier


Back 2 finish my journey
glad your doing well, can't believe your not happy with a 6lb loss thats fantastic!!! keep going :)
Thanks Kerryberry, and thanx DDbra, it's not the 6lbs i'm not happy with, but the fact that during my month off I put 20 on! It's like something turned off in my head, like everyday was cause for celebration. It didn't help that my BF came for 3 weeks and we just went out all the time, plus Xmas, I just shoulda been more reasonable. So the line was drawn, but my head is still trying to get itself wrapped around the "no more foodfest, back on CD" thing
Well, a good day so far, I have put a date of around april 19-24 to get to goal. I really think if I write it down (etched in stone type of thing) it will help me keep the focus. I'm doing good on the water, I've had 3ltrs so far. I really need to get at least 6 more pound off this week!

It's funny, I can't fit into most of the pants I could at this same weight before Xmas... a constant reminder of what I did... also does it mean the fat settled around my stomach?? or am I just bloated or what what what??? It's bugging me as I don't like to wear tight pants, and all my old stuff is gone... It's a matter of a week or two, but boy is is hard on my waistline!
It's so cold but I know it's not ketosis as I had slight carbs yesterday, it's just damn cold and damp!! I actually put the water on our heater in the office so that it can be tepid when I glug it down. Well of to pick up the kids... Hope I won't fall into another pitfall tonight!
Silly me!! OK, so I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I think I've cracked part of my prob with restart and CD in general. Like most people I've read about, it's the evenings which are the hardest, my CDC has a theory on it (involving some leptin being released starting at 4PM so our body can be ready for sleep at night, and these create cravings, also it tends to make us slightly depressed etc). I have to cook dinner for the family and my prob area: feed my 18 mth old. So today, I was determined to feed him and not have the littlest nibble... and I DID IT!!
I'm so happy with my achievement (resisted scrumptious chili, with cheese, avocado etc - my fave) and I did it by having my porridge at the dame time, so I didn't even lick my fingers when it got on my hands. I will now change my eating schedule to match his when i'm feeding him. Hopefully that will reduce the nibbles
OK, well I haven't been posting for a few days now... but everything is great. I've lost everything I had gained but 2 lbs :D

I have discovered MAM and it's changing my life!! I now have:
1. oatmeal at breakfast + 1.5l water
2. Soup - veggie at lunch + 1L
3. oatmeal and mousse dinner + 1l water

and 1 liter throughout the day.
I eat the oatmeal in the eve while feeding my son, then my mousse later on.

On the weekend it's basically the same schedule except for the mousse which I split between lunch and dinner. I have a bar or some chicken because I move around a lot and I need extra calories.

I'm back in my pants, and they fit fine so it gives me a positive outlook. I also realize that I still have a lot of weight to lose, it's a bit depressing, but I know I can do it. I've set my goal to 4lbs a week, it might be too much, may have to revise, but i'll do that when i'm ready to move up in the plans.

I have a very very busy week, so I'm hoping for a good loss. I've changed my weigh-ins back to Sundays because that's what works for me. I have a dinner on Saturday and it's worrying me coz I don't want to diminish what I've achieved... I also know I will have to SS+ wednesday on so as not to "pile on" come Sat... I will also try, and i did say "try" not to eat too many carbs. :rolleyes:
Well, can't believe i'm in my 3rd week already!! I have woken up at least 3x this week due to hunger... I'm debating on 810. My CDC tells me I have less chance of quitting (coz there's still food) and you still lose on it.
The neg part: there's still food on it, and sometimes I just don't trust myself... it would be a real test -
The pos part: the flip side would be knowing I have a little meal a day, I wouldn't go all out crazy and be tempted to cheat/binge. I'd also partake in fam dinner as DD is complaining about my "absence" at the dinner table.
I would be able to exercise without fearing near collapse.

I'm really split on this.. would anyone care to give their views?

On a real positive note, I went to get my products (OK so half the order is messed up) and I couln't resist weighing-in, and I'm at 220... Meaning I lost all that sh*t from XMAS and i can continue my "real" weightloss journey now :flirt2:
So, as usual with me... when things are going great I have to muck them up!! been off plan since yesterday (I just CAN'T see beyond 220 lbs does it make sense??). I have a dinner tomorrow night, so from sunday am, it's 100% and I have to get down below 220 next week to break that vicious cycle
Been so busy I forgot to update. The dinner came... And went. The food wasn't great neither was rhe company so i was quite peeved to have come off cd for it. I was back to100% the very NeXT day. Id stepped on the scale sunday and it registered a 6lb gain!!?! Like WTF??? I didnt even overeat!!! I'm so sick and tired of that up n down game!!! I've been good this week so hopefully I'll catch a break.
I remember the first week of restart I said I needed my packs spaced out like meals; however come eves I just felt one pack wasn't enough. So I've switched the routine and it seems to be working sooo much better. I have my first pack around noon, an oatmeal when I get home and the last 2 before I go to bed... Works great.
Well done you!!

im on day one, so far so good. i have done this before, but i had a break and put on a bit. so im back on the wagon.

well done with your loss so far xx

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