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Ever felt a bit left out...

Alyce

Full Member
#1
It may just be me, but when i first started SW at my old class, i got chatting and got one with everyone.
Since moving to my new class, i've tried talking to a few ppl, but i feel like i get the brush off. :(

May be its just me being silly, but i'm less wanting to say for the meeting.

My consultent is fab, but its just a few peeps that are making me feel a little unwelcome!

Thankfully tho, you guys are fab - and i get plenty of support here :D


Ah well.... moan over!!!
 
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GymClassHero

Silver Member
S: 19st2lb C: 11st3lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 23.2 Loss: 7st13lb(41.42%)
#2
My group are all pleasent but we dont really talk that much.

To be honest, most of the ladies there are a lot older than me and they have been going to the group for a few years so they all know each other.

I did feel a bit left out at first but i have just made conversation where possible and made an effort to communicate with everyone.
 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
S: 14st5lb
#3
I know where you're coming from, alot of the folk at my class have been to school together or work together or know each other and tend to sit with each other , but I just plonk myself down and start chatting! I tend to pick out newbies, some of them never come back :eek:. I've never had anyone to go with :cry:. But I stay every week and enjoy the banter.
 

Sallyannie

Full Member
S: 14st11lb C: 13st2lb G: 9st12lb BMI: 34.8 Loss: 1st9lb(11.11%)
#4
I did a little at first but soon go in with the group a lot of my group left when the consultants changed but most are brill and we have a good laugh and get a bit competitive with points so its usually a good laugh. I left early tonight cause I was really hungry and feel like I have missed out now.
 

BigV

Full Member
S: 20st3lb C: 16st9lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 38.8 Loss: 3st8lb(17.67%)
#5
Hi,

My husband and I go together and I feel left out. My consultant makes a lot of fuss about him.
Last week he got Slimmer of the month. I picked up 1 pound. She fussed about him and never asked how I felt.

It really got to me, as we both eat the same food. I do all the planning and cooking. He loses the weight and mine is just so slow coming off.

In general everyone is okay at my group. Been to a few different classes over the years and there is always the "clicks" or the one that thinks "she is the main peanut in the packet"...human nature. I dont let that get to me. Sometimes it makes me even more determined to do beter next week.
 

squiddie

Getting fit for 30!
S: 25st5lb C: 25st5lb G: 11st1lb BMI: 54 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#6
I know what you're saying, a lot of people come to group together, or know eachother for different reasons and if you're on your own, or a newbie, it can be difficult. If it was me, and this is just personal opinion, I would do one of two thing. Either think well, I come here for a reason - to lose weight and its working, so bo**ox to everyone else, its only an hour a week. Or I'd move groups if I needed the comradery and support.

BigV, sorry to hear you're having a bit of a hard time with your weight loss. I'm taking a wild guess that your husband is the only male, or atleast one of few at your group? It may be that percentage-wise not many men do SW, so could be your consultant is trying to over-compensate or that the novelty of a bloke being there has't worn off. Typically men tend to lose more as they have a faster motabolism. You have already lost a massive amount of weight, don't let the speed of the losses put you off, as long as it is all going in the right direction, that is all that matters :)

Natt xxx
 

cocktailprincess

Still rockin' it
S: 18st13lb C: 10st12lb G: 10st13lb BMI: 23.8 Loss: 8st1lb(42.64%)
#7
I am very confident and stand in front of strangers and talk for a living............but I completely understand how you feel.
This is why I always felt uncomfortable in the past when I attended a new class- it was about something very personal and I felt very vulnerable in front of new people.

I honestly think things will feel better after a couple of weeks. Make an effort to chit chat and I am sure you will realise that the unfriendly looking people are actually quite nice. Or, like Judi says, try making friends with other 'new' faces as I bet they feel exactly the same as you

Good luck
 

malaika

Lover of Extra Easy
S: 11st8lb C: 10st6lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 25.9 Loss: 1st2lb(9.88%)
#8
I am not shy and wasn't worried about joining a group of strangers.
They do know each other, and sit in groups but I just sit anywhere and join in the chat.
They are all really friendly and I enjoy it a lot and have a good laugh as some are really funny!
 

Alyce

Full Member
#9
Thanks for all the support guys, lets see how i get on, on tuesday's WI :) x
 

Rachella

Silver Member
S: 14st13lb C: 10st13lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 24 Loss: 4st0lb(26.79%)
#10
Hi,

My husband and I go together and I feel left out. My consultant makes a lot of fuss about him.
Last week he got Slimmer of the month. I picked up 1 pound. She fussed about him and never asked how I felt.
Funny but that's how it is at our group too! There are only 2 regular men who attend with their wives and they seem to be made a fuss over too!

I don't think I've ever really 'clicked' with anyone in my group even though I am a very friendly person etc... I think it has a lot to do with being a lot younger than everyone and not having kids, everyone seems to chat about their kids!

I've got chattier with a few ladies over the last few months... and I was genuinely pleased to hear a couple of them say they'd missed me since I'd been away on hols for the last few weeks! They actually noticed I wasnt there which is very sweet!

Anyway I think it takes time at some groups to fit it like I've found... this is because a lot of people have been going to the same group for a VERY long time and when they see new people they might think 'why make an effort' if they have known through past experience how quickly some new people leave! There are so many people who have come and gone at our group over the last 10 months I lose count!

For example, one week I girl joined who looked my age and I actually recognised her from the train station (I used to commute to London daily and she took the same train) so I thought I'd definitely chat to her the following week... but she didnt come back!!!! Maybe if I'd chatted to her there and then she would have felt more comfortable to come back!
 
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