Feel like i am drowning....

[RScothern]

Just need to off load somewhere. I feel like a complete failure. My house is a tip and I have washing and junk everywhere. My dad is always on my case about it but since my mum died in December I just don't have the motivation for anything.
I work part time in a supermarket, part time as a company secretary and am also a volunteer at my kids school.
My hubby is good but works silly hours too and I don't like to nag at him to so stuff.
I barely sleep and am so tires and just want a break from everything but it's not possible.
Have no family to help with the kids or anything and my friends all have busy lives o there own.
Don't really know where I am going with this post but just needed to get it out iykwim x

 

[breeza]

Don't really know what to say but didn't want to read and not comment. Your life sounds quite stressful at the mo and you are prob still going thru the grieving process having recently lost your mum. Holding it all together 2 jobs and a family while not sleeping takes it toll. Sometimes the enormity of the housework makes it difficult to tackle ! Maybe do one little thing at a time untill you get on top of it. Could you not have a word with your dad and tell him you are struggling at the moment and could he keep his comments to himself for now??
I hope things start to get better for you and I'm sorry for your loss xx

 

[interested92]

have you spoken to anyone about your grief and depression babes?
it could be worth making a gp's appointment. asking for help does not make you less strong <3

 

[bevhunter1986]

Counselling might help your express your feelings to a random person x

 

[peggypig]

Until you feel better and able to catch up and do it yourselves could you put together and get someone to do a clean for the house, at least while you're not feeling too well its one less big job to worry about.

Hope things ease off for you and you feel better

 

[sproutlet]

So sorry for your loss.

I think you are being too hard on yourself, you've obviously got a lot of commitments and trying to run a house as well as everything else is hard. I think you need to talk to your hubby about how you are feeling and try and work out a way of splitting the jobs in the house.

Have you thought about bereavement counselling? This may help with how you are feeling (it helped me when my dad died). Also have you tried talking to your friends as they may not have any idea how you are feeling and I'm sure they would love to be there to support you.

Sending big hugs xx

 

[lesleybax]

Oh dear you do seem to be having a rough time of it.
life dose get so hard to cope with at times dosen't it. i know how hard it is too loose your mum. its no wonder your feeling depressed.
could your dad not help out rather than critisize you.
in the great scheem of things does it really matter that you have a pile of ironing!!!
could you not give the volenteer work a rest for a while till your back on top of things.
a good way of getting things done without it seeming like a mammoth task is list everything that needs doing and break it down into small tasks.
ie iron 10 items or clear one kitchen work surface.
you'll feel good that you've achieved something and it'll get things done eventually.
i hope things start to improve for you soon

lesley

 

[sadolphingirl]

Oh hun I am right with you on this one!
I am sorry for your loss of your mum... Mine is thousands of miles away from me but I know that she is there if I need her and I couldn't imagine her not being around so can't imagine how you must be feeling...
All I can say to you is take each day one at a time and maybe concentrate on one room at a time...

Hope things get better

Hugs xx

 

[Hamish's Mum]

I think you should speak to your GP.

I suffer from depression and anxiety and one of the things I find difficult to cope with is the running of my home. I can be overwhelmed if the kids need school uniform ironed!

I try to break everything down to bite size chunks. I do ten things in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher is one, clothes in tumble drier is two and so on. When I do all ten I take a break, and then in a short while I do ten other things in another room. It really does help and makes you feel a bit more on top of things.

 

[Korrigan]

I try to break everything down to bite size chunks.

This...

It can be overwhelming looking at everything as one whole. One bit at a time honey. And really at the end of the day what's a bit of dust and house mess. Some people live like that all the time and you're not superwoman. You have 3 jobs for pity's sake!

And I agree with what others have said - this is tied in with grief about your mother and perhaps you need to think about getting some help there.

Take care xxx

 

[*Emsie*]

I get overwhelmed by all the stuff us women/mothers/wives have to do myself. It really is true that a womans work is never done but to cope with the loss of your mum on top of that I cannot imagine
I agree with what others have suggested in getting some help/support from a counsellor/gp etc and also breaking things down into what you can do/what means a lot to you to do and rewarding yourself when you get through an amount of them sounds like a great idea.

 

[Supergirl1980]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My dad died 9 years ago and and some days I still catch myself crying. Losing a parent is hard and trying to carry on with a normal life when all you want to do is sit and cry is even harder. :-(

I do agree that seeing someone for counselling might be helpful, even if to have the time to offload instead of feeling the need to be strong. In terms of the house, feeling like you don't know where to start is pretty overwhelming. Have you ever looked at FlyLady.net ? Her website is all about taking baby steps to organising your home and she sets little daily tasks that you should spend 15 minutes on and that's all. When I'm following it I feel much better about my home and definitely more in control. Maybe it is worth a look for you?