Feeling a little :-(

[JujuBerrrry]

I moved to Northampton over three months ago now, to be closer to by boyfriend (ex).
We broke up early last year and his parents didn't want us being together full stop, anyway to cut a long story short. His mum eventually found out we had got back together but his dad never knew, six months I told my (ex) to tell him every day and nothing because he was too scared.
I know he didn't treat me that great but then I'm not an angel. He'd lie about other girls (I didn't lie or cheat ), he'd turn his phone off for days when he was away, ignore me and literally leave me every five minutes in the cruelest ways possible. Like he did just before Christmas because his dad found out early November? He broke up with me and then got back together and again in December. I'm heartbroken, having moved five hours for this person, away from my bestfriends and family to be with him and after two years I'm being treat like a stranger. He must of left at least 6 times, always told me "don't worry juju we always sort things out you know that".

The sad thing is when there was no one else interfering we were great and I miss that.
I'm just feeling a bit sad today because I really miss him and I know I shouldn't but I do. The fact he see's his family every weekend when he goes home and I see mine every two months
It's so horrible. I just wish I hadn't of gone on at him so much about him telling his parents we were back together or tagging him in a photo that his dad saw (wasn't intended) but I'm a 19 year old girl, I use Facebook and I wanted my friends to see how happy I was. But that's how his dad found out about us through the photo on Facebook. Yet he hasn't changed his relationship status in five months when we split up it appeared we were still together and no one questioned that. They hated me and I was really lovely to them.
I don't know and also the first time round I lost all the weight I did it the first time he broke up with me, I loved him that much I lost 7 and a half stone and we got back together I only did it for him.

Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated at this moment as I feel pretty crappy and usually I'd turn to chocolate! xxxxxxx

 

[fattymcfatterson]

aw hun thats such a confusing situation you have there. If you want me to be truly honest then you already know what I'm going to say.

Why don't you move back home. Its going to be hard but are you really happy where you are? You shouldnt be in a relationship that you have to hide and where you are constantly worried if you are going to single the next day.

This is never going to change. he is never going to put you first and he is always going to hurt you. You love him of course you do but are you truly IN love with him. You cant be babe. You are so used to the routine of him in your life. You need to get out of that routine! Meet new people, find a guy who isnt going to treat you so god damn awful!

I know Im a complete stranger but maybe thats better for the truth? This is all something you probably already know but dont really want to hear? Its hurting more at the moment aswell because of this diet. It has that effect!

I really hope you can be happier and do what is best for you. You're obviously not happy and you DESERVE to be! x

sorry to be so harsh

 

[fattymcfatterson]

and I know when you love someone. Especially a guy like that who always has you on your toes almost begging for his full attention you just think he is the world and nothing I say will change your mind. Its all blah blah blah they don't know how I feel, they werent there when it was so good and we have such a connection. I KNOW you just wont accept that you shouldnt be together anyway but somehow hearing people say the situation is **** and that you deserve better makes you feel better

 

[fattymcfatterson]

oh and lastly (sorry) if you lost all that weight for him then you wouldnt be doing it now?
AAAANDDDDD ((((BIG CUDDLE))) X

 

[Shivie]

I second that Juju xx
You are such a sweet, kind, gorgeous girl and I hate to think of you being sad and lonesome.
If your ex really wanted to be with someone he wouldn't give a damn what anyone thought of you.
Shame on his parents for being so judgemental about someone they never attempted to get to know
properly.
Time is a great healer sweetie and, while I know it's hard to imagine, this time next year you'll look
back and think "Why was I even bothered."
You were the one making all the sacrifices in the relationship, moving away from home and putting
yourself through gruelling weight loss.
Stuff him hun, it's his loss and you sooooo deserve a million times better.

Hugs :bighug:

 

[fattymcfatterson]

I second that Juju xx
You are such a sweet, kind, gorgeous girl and I hate to think of you being sad and lonesome.
If your ex really wanted to be with someone he wouldn't give a damn what anyone thought of you.
Shame on his parents for being so judgemental about someone they never attempted to get to know
properly.
Time is a great healer sweetie and, while I know it's hard to imagine, this time next year you'll look
back and think "Why was I even bothered."
You were the one making all the sacrifices in the relationship, moving away from home and putting
yourself through gruelling weight loss.
Stuff him hun, it's his loss and you sooooo deserve a million times better.

Hugs :bighug:

Yeh thats some odd parenting. Surely if your child is happy thats all you care about... strange...
Then again I havent had kids yet so maybe that will change!

 

[JujuBerrrry]

Thank you Ladies, so much.

It's sometimes better taking advice from someone you've never met rather than friends you've known a long time. It's exactly what I need to hear. It's just so sad because everything was great until people got involved. It's so hard not to talk to him after moving all this way we're just strangers. I think he's already moved on.

Although it's only been a few weeks and he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend again.

I hope things turn around soon. I just wish his parents knew what he was really like, the lies he told me. His parents made him break up with me through letter I got a hand written one and his mum posted a printed one to my mum from him. He got his mum to do it all. They ruined everything. They're such horrible people, very snobby too and not much to show for it.
I hope one day they find out he lied, cheated, treat me like dirt.

Thank you again ladies, mwah xxxx

 

[Hamish's Mum]

Honey you are worth so much more than that.


If you can try moving back home and as hard as it is accept it is over and try to move forward with your life. If you allow him to continue to treat you like this he always will

You will be heartbroken but in a few years you will be in a much better place and glad you broke up.

I know I had to do the same thing when I was 19. I am now happily married for years where as my ex is still floating around from one relationship to another

 

[JujuBerrrry]

Honey you are worth so much more than that.

If you can try moving back home and as hard as it is accept it is over and try to move forward with your life. If you allow him to continue to treat you like this he always will

You will be heartbroken but in a few years you will be in a much better place and glad you broke up.

I know I had to do the same thing when I was 19. I am now happily married for years where as my ex is still floating around from one relationship to another

Thank you so much!
I think it's because he has such a good job, on tv, he has his own flat, car and I think I was more in love with the security of all that.
Because when it comes down to it, he had left me that many times because if his fussy parents I'd be worrying everyday and asking if he was going to leave me. I do believe he loved me but not enough. I loved him too much because I made all the effort- moving over 300 miles to be closer to him for example.
I'd leave uni but I've already started my degree now and I'd rather just get it over and done with, then move back home to teach. I've made some great friends and although I wish I could see my family more I suppose I should have really thought about that when first picking this university.
I told him, I'm going to to to a different uni because I know you'll leave me again and your got your family close where as mine are five hours away and I just wouldn't cope. He promised and promised that he wouldn't and I knew it was going to happen, when I thought about it when picking my uni's.
I did so much for him I just wish I'd have thought things through ***lesson learned***.
And now because he made me that ill my grades have gone down because I went home for a few weeks.

-Hopefully by June my grades will be better
-I will have passed my driving test
-I will be 12st or below
-And I m going to have the best summer.
-And maybe just not watch T.V on a Sunday when he'll be on.

Anyway enough about him.
Thank you ladies all so much. I just need to think more positively, after all he did to me I can't stop missing him or even bare the thought of him with someone else. Never mind...
I hope you're all okay
Mwah xxxx

 

[Shivie]

Ooh now I wish we knew who it was so we could all ring in to the show and give him serious abuse for
hurting our Juju! (I know you can't say for legal reasons!) xxx Hope you're feeling better sweetie.
I'm here for you xxx