feeling low

[paula 36]

Hi this is a bit of a long one.I started LL 8 weeks ago as im emergrating to oz.Was suppossed to be moving and flying out on the 10th of july.The chain collapsed after 4 months.Felt really low and stressed,decided to go away for a week as a family.I had a great time ate and drunk all week had 4 days on ketosis before weigh in and only put a pound on .So was really pleased.Last week i went away with my husband for a week without the kids as we have never done this before.We had a great time again had 4 days back on LL before weigh in, last night about 8 o clock i has pasta with ham and cheese and 5 slices of bread and cheese and 2 chocolate cakes.WHY.Our house is back on the market and we have our leaving party on saturday night and im dreading it.This morning i hate myself and feel like crap.Im back on this morning as got weigh in tommorrow night.Im off LL from saturday till monday as got loads of people staying as we wont see them again.Im scared of going tommorrow night and im scared of going to the party because i feel a fat cow.Ive lost just under 2 stone and still have 4 to go.Why am i still bingeing like that after the councilling ,and will i ever get over that bingeing?.sorry its longxx:cry:

 

[SharonA_1970]

Paula firstly sending cyber hugs. What a rough time moving house is the most stressful thing you can do let alone moving country so don't be too hard on yourself. You can't change what you have done but you can learn from it. Go back to basics. Make sure you are having at least your 4 litres of water. Revisit the goals you set in week 2 on your counselling. Try doing some thought records. Also try to be more self aware about why you are about to eat something. If I get tempted I mentally stop and think about how I feel when I get on those scales and see a good loss and then think about how I am going to feel if I take myself out of ketosis and don't see a loss. The bingeing will stop eventually. Leaning new skills and ways to deal with our emotional eating is hard and you cannot expect to make miraculous changes over night, its a marathon not a sprint. You CAN do it!!! Also come by here and post if you feel like u are going to have a binge again there is nearly always someone around who can talk u out of it.

 

[paula 36]

Thank you, i feel crap this morning x:cry:

 

[SharonA_1970]

hun please don't feel like crap. I have been there the week before last, I had a binge and on the Sunday night at my weigh in I felt like you do now. Try and get rid of the negative thoughts and focus on what you have achieved. I really think a lot of this is about being more aware of what we are doing and why we are doing it. Beating yourself up is not going to make you feel any better, believe me. Come on hun focus on the next few days, if thats too much take it an hour at a time. I do something really silly when I am feeling like you are right now. I have a chart on my fridge door and for every hour that I get through feeling great and happy I put a little smiley sticker on it, it really helps motivate me to keep going. You will get passed this.

 

[SharonA_1970]

oh and regarding the party. Plan for it, if you really do want to eat for it then make it a planned blip. Maybe stick with the water and shakes all day and just have something in the evening at the party. Try to make wise choices, avoid alcohol, carbs and just stick with salad and lean protein. Drink plenty of water before you go and that way you will feel full. If you are worried about what people will think tell them u are on antibiotics so u can't drink. There are a tonne of excuses you could make for not eating. We don't have to drink and eat loads to have a good time.

 

[paula 36]

Thanks lovey that has really helped.The estate agent has just rang me they have got someone coming round tonight to look at the house that hasnt got anything to sell.so fingers crossed.x

 

[Kate78]

Paula, you are having such a stressful time with the move to oz/selling house, please dont beat yourself up over a blip.
The most important thing is that you learn from it, think about why you eat and what you could do next time to try and stop yourself.
Last week was a really tough week for me and I just ate so much, back on track now and so glad that I have. The minis are great, so keep posting when you feeling low someone will come online and perk you up/help you through.

Take care, and I have my fingers crossed for the house viewing tonight.

Hugs, Kate x

 

[paula 36]

thanks honey,people on here are so helpfull.My confidence and self esteem are crap and i always feel im not goo enough for anything or anyonex:cry:

 

[Kate78]

Well you certainly should be proud of the 8 weeks of LL you have completed, along with the confidence it takes to move to another country and all that entails.
Maybe you should revisit the weeks that we did stroking in councelling. Remember that you dont have to accept negetives strokes from others or yourself. You will get there, just take a while, don't be too hard on yourself in the meantime.

Kate x

 

[SafcGirl31]

Hope you feel better soon. I think one of the best things thats helped me with low self-esteem is to look at yourself through other peoples eyes, through the eyes of those people who love you unconditionally, be it your kids, husband, parents etc. Try to imagine what they feel about you when they look at you and how they don't see any of the negative things that you yourself feel. (I think I saw it on a Paul McKenna programme). I found it a powerful exercise and try to repeat it when I feel down about myself. Take Care x

 

[paula 36]

thanks guys,this site is so good.There are so m,any caring people thank you so muchxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[In search of me]

Aww just read this...big hugs for you! Try & see the good in what you've done and recognise that you are under a lot of pressure at the moment and be getle with yourself. How you feeling now?

 

[paula 36]

Hi lovey,i rang my counciller last night and said i would go tonight but wouldnt get weighed.She said that was ok but wouldnt advise it.I didnt want to get weighed because of the bingeing since i came back from my hols.But she said this would be good , and i could face why i binge.I know if i didnt get weighed because of my party the weekend i would go mad eating everything in sight all weekend.A friend put on a stone after a weeks holiday,the only thing i worry about is feeling totally depressed when i leave tonight.xx:cry:

 

[Lottie-kins]

I know where you are coming from as I dread weigh ins when I know I've put on. I'd say leave the decision til you get there tonight and if you get persuaded, you get persuaded. But don't sit and worry about it all day, cos thats not useful.

If you feel strong enough, you can use it to your advantage to pick self up and make sure that scale changes the next time that you step on it.

Re: Why binge, we all do it for different reasons. I think that SS'ing helps analyse these thoughts because we can't bury them anymore with food, they have to come out. I find that writing in my diary really helps as I just spew out everything. And that is all therapy is. So what if it's not a good read for everyone else, it's your diary and your development that matters, so be selfish and really get those feelings out rather than eating them. It really does help hun. And another thing...you realise that you are not alone.

Have a good day...fresh start...new you!

 

[MsJMC]

Hi Paula 36
Thats how i've been , i was being really good then thought i'd eat sausages and chips that was not the friday we just had it was the friday before well i really couldn't say that i enjoyed it , but the next day i carried on , and its made me tired and feeling knocked out , so today my heads back into my shakes . Did you enjoy eating the food ? Well just look forward now not back , and will be happy and sad leaving party i can guess . More we think on things the worse they become , i do that alot hehe . Good luck also for OZ

 

[paula 36]

Hi,i did enjoy the food but i felt really guilty and scared .I get really scared when im eating because i know what happensx:cry:

 

[MsJMC]

Well keep coming on here like i do and it will help you, its like me its going to be my birthday soon and i'm going away and you think i wonder if i can keep to being good , but just go and see what happens . Don't give up on giving up!