Feeling tip top positive - thank you!

Julesy

Likes being a girly girl
OK, so I've fallen off the wagon big style.....won't go into what I've done too much, but needless to say I caved in last night and have written off today aswell....not too drastic and certainly nowhere near like what I was eating before but still.......strangely I was still in ketosis this morning....odd...but I'm definately not now....:(

This diet is just so bloody hard isn't it.....I'm a single mum with 3 children so all the cooking, shopping etc has to be done by me.....

I've been getting to the point where I couldn't face cooking for my children as it was just bloody hard, and my children were all asking when I could sit down with them like I always did on an evening and have a meal with them.....I had started having to run upstairs and hide in the bath etc when I had dished up their teas.....missing out on our usual evening chat around the table.....(am filled up with tears writing this) :(

Anyways, my daughter is 15 next month and wants to lose about 2 stone, and she had started to get silly about her food which I think has alot to do with seeing me living on soups and shakes and water all day.....

My middle son is 11 and has ADHD/ODD and dealing with his behaviour and with all the stuff that the school has been throwing at me have left me a wreck to be honest.

I'm a terribly good actress and have pretended for the past weeks that all is well and I'm happy, but I'm really really not.....

I genuinally don't know what to do.......have considered going to SW and taking my daughter with me....have considered giving this diet another go and just seeing what happens....have considered trying this diet for a short while and then switching to SW after I have given my self a head start.....oh I don't know......

I read about everyone else sticking to this diet 100% and managing quite easily to lose substantial amounts of weight and I so wanted to be just like that......I had a 100% determined head on me when I started and now I'm just all messed up and confused and feel like such a stupid failiure.....all my goals I had set myself have flown out of the window now and I feel as if I've let myself and my family down so much.

Once a failiure always a failure is how I feel about myself right now......:(

Sorry for all the negativity, I just needed to write down my thoughts and feelings.....
 
Please don't feel like a 'failure' because that road only leads to self recrimination and NOTHING GOOD can come of that. You're not alone in your struggles - many of us struggle on a daily basis .. 'restarts' have become a part of my regular routine!

If you compare your experience to other people's then you may feel you'll never stack up ... but for every person who seems to be sailing through, there are half a dozen who will identify with your situation.

Maybe SSing just isn't for you. How about considering a higher plan such as 790 or even 1000. You will still get decent losses but you can have that all-important meal at the table with your kids. You would be having a healthy meal which your daughter could also have; this would help her avoid the dieting trap. To be honest, I wouldn't take her down the slimming club road - it'll just get the ball rolling on the 'on a diet / off a diet' mentality. At her age, a good healthy diet and more activity will do the trick.

Thinking of you and sending you a hug. If it's any consolation, I ate like a P-I-G last week so I'm having to climb back on that bloody wagon yet again! You're definitely not alone.
 
I'm on lipotrim and I've only racked up 2 days, so I don't have much room to talk in terms of experience on these diets, but I do know that you're not a failure, and you've let no-one down.

Being on your own with 3 kids is bloody hard, and having 2 who are in their teens, including one with ADHD/ODD is a hell of a lot to be contending with, never mind trying to adhere to a pretty extreme diet. You've done exceptionally well to get to this point - particularly given you've got to cook and prepare food every day.

It sounds to me like you've got a lot to deal with in your life, and you don't get much time or space to treat yourself - and I'm not necessarily talking about food. This diet is hard going anyhow, and can feel very much like deprivation, and if you're not being getting space to yourself anyhow, I can imagine it would feel like the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.

You are absolutely not a failure - you clearly cope on a day to day basis with stuff that makes most people throw the towel in.

As far as your daughter is concerned, 15 is a pretty delicate age, particularly when it comes to food, diet, and being overweight - many of us can testify to that. If you think that seeing you on the packs is having an effect on her mindset then you need to figure out and do what is best for both of you. She will get strength from seeing you try to tackle your weight issues, regardless of how you choose to do that.

If you decide that CD/LT/LL is not for you, then it might be worth asking the GP for a referral to a dietician for both you and your daughter - they could maybe help both of you devise a way of changing your eating to help you get to a healthy weight.

I can tell you from what I've read here that no-one who has been on any of these diets has managed it easily - it may seem that way, and in a weird way much as the pictures and stories are inspirational, they can also be daunting.

You are not a failure - you are clearly a brave woman who has coped with massive challenges, and continues not just to cope, but to attempt to change your weight despite having more than enough to deal with than most of us can imagine.

You need to be kind to yourself, and try and take some time for you - it sounds like it's overdue. You've let no-one down - you've just hit a point where you've become overwhelmed. Whatever you choose to do, there's always going to be support here.

Wow.......thank you.....am sat here in tears reading your reply........can't think of anything else to say as thank you seems such a small word.......:hug99:
 
Hey Julesy don't get so down.
Have you tried any of the recipes on here. I was exactly the same as you, missing eating with my littun (she's 8 and skinny as a rake lucky little madame!) so I gave the recipes a go in the evening. They give you something to chew at least so you can sit down and actually eat with your family rather than just sip on a drink while they're chomping down!
You might have fallen of the wagon but just put it behind you and jump back on with the rest of us!:party0019:
 
I can only reiterate what Scots and RD have said. You are doing brilliantly raising three children, and that in itself should be rewarded. However, with your daughter's weight and food issues, I think RD's suggestion of a higher plan is the best option, at least you will be able to sit down and have a meal with them in the evenings as before. I am sending lots of hugs to you xxx
 
:wave_cry: Poor you ................you sound really down. You are just having a bad day,if you accept that its just a bad day you can get back on the waggon tomorrow.You have a lot on your plate at the moment. i think you have done dead well so far. Try and focus on the good things in store for you if you continue. I dont think everyone else is 100% positive all the time. Thats why we are on this site loking for words of wisdom/advice/support. I do hope you get over this blimp.

and remember tomorrow is another day..................Good Luck hope you feel better soon

Kassyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Please don't feel like a 'failure' because that road only leads to self recrimination and NOTHING GOOD can come of that. You're not alone in your struggles - many of us struggle on a daily basis .. 'restarts' have become a part of my regular routine!

If you compare your experience to other people's then you may feel you'll never stack up ... but for every person who seems to be sailing through, there are half a dozen who will identify with your situation.

Maybe SSing just isn't for you. How about considering a higher plan such as 790 or even 1000. You will still get decent losses but you can have that all-important meal at the table with your kids. You would be having a healthy meal which your daughter could also have; this would help her avoid the dieting trap. To be honest, I wouldn't take her down the slimming club road - it'll just get the ball rolling on the 'on a diet / off a diet' mentality. At her age, a good healthy diet and more activity will do the trick.

Thinking of you and sending you a hug. If it's any consolation, I ate like a P-I-G last week so I'm having to climb back on that bloody wagon yet again! You're definitely not alone.

Thank you so much honey.:hug99:

I think I've been pretty good so far with reagrds my daughters eating habits...I have noticed her weight creeping up over the months and have incorporated alot of healthy foods etc into our diets before I started on CD.....I've never been one for going on diets all the time myself and have always tried to show the kids a healthy diet etc....hence most of my weight creeped on whilst the kids were in bed and I could binge myself without them seeing anything.......it's only since I started CD that I actually got a set of scales in the house! :eek:

I was actually took down the slimming route when I was around her age by my mum, who has been on and off diets ever since I can remember......I didn't want my daughter falling into that trap and I deliberately chose as an adult to rebel against all the diet stuff, (probably as a result of seeing what my mum and my grandma did.....) and so I never ever pressurised my daughter into losing any weight......but I know she is unhappy with her weight and so I decided to help us all out.

What makes it harder is that because of my sons medication it is imperative he eats a very high calorie diet as a side effect of his medication is a reduced appetite......typical eh? We do usually give him an extra bowl of cereal on a night time but I often felt that whilst he was eating his extra foods everyone else should get something too.....what a total balls up eh?

Thank you so much for your really kind words honey.....I do really appreciate them xxx
 
Hey Julesy don't get so down.
Have you tried any of the recipes on here. I was exactly the same as you, missing eating with my littun (she's 8 and skinny as a rake lucky little madame!) so I gave the recipes a go in the evening. They give you something to chew at least so you can sit down and actually eat with your family rather than just sip on a drink while they're chomping down!
You might have fallen of the wagon but just put it behind you and jump back on with the rest of us!:party0019:

Thank you! :hug99:
 
I can only reiterate what Scots and RD have said. You are doing brilliantly raising three children, and that in itself should be rewarded. However, with your daughter's weight and food issues, I think RD's suggestion of a higher plan is the best option, at least you will be able to sit down and have a meal with them in the evenings as before. I am sending lots of hugs to you xxx

Thank you so much honey - I think I will look into trying the 790 plan and see how I get on with that.......:hug99:
 
:wave_cry: Poor you ................you sound really down. You are just having a bad day,if you accept that its just a bad day you can get back on the waggon tomorrow.You have a lot on your plate at the moment. i think you have done dead well so far. Try and focus on the good things in store for you if you continue. I dont think everyone else is 100% positive all the time. Thats why we are on this site loking for words of wisdom/advice/support. I do hope you get over this blimp.

and remember tomorrow is another day..................Good Luck hope you feel better soon

Kassyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you Kassy :hug99:
 
I dont know if this will help or not, as i know when i want to stop cambridge when ive had a binge (im only on day 5 so it'll probably happen) ill want people to tell me to keep going. However, im solely alone, i dont have children to worry about, or making meals for others or any of the stress you have.

I did do the weightwatchers online for a month and lost a stone though before i started cambridge...it was very very easy in comparision to this diet, it just might take a little longer. Its something to consider...then you could have meals with your family and i cant remember but i think if the doctor says so then teenagers can do it too. That way its not a drastic diet, its just making sensible changes.

Dont know if thats any help but i do hope you feel better about everything! Remember no mother is a failure because its the hardest job in the world to start with! I couldnt do it let alone on 400 cals a day!

xxx
 
I think you are really admirable for trying to make sure everyone in your family is happy and as unaffected by your diet as possible, but don't make yourself miserable in the process! Doing a 790 plan so you can have a healthy meal with the kids sounds like a great idea, then you can continue the good work with your daughter and keep your own weight-loss at a level that keeps your enthusiasm up.
Do you get the chance to do anything active with the kids? I began to have weight problems when I was at school, and only realized 10 years later how much easier it all was when I found doing some exercise more enjoyable, does she like skating, or dancing perhaps? I know I'd have benefitted much more from doing something like that than starting to be really aware of dieting when I was so young.
 
I cannot thank you all so much for your positive words of encouragement and hope.........

I just had a chat with my children and explained a little how I was feeling and also about the 790 plan that was suggested......and they all thought it would be lovely to have mum sat down for tea with them as we have done for years and they are all going to do their bestest to help me out as much as they can.......and so I'm going to have a word with my CDC Mandy, and ask her if it would be ok for me to do the 790......I'm going to SS until I get back into ketosis (just to be on the safe side) and then start the 790 for real.......

Thank you all so much for your help and understanding.....it really really does mean alot to me xxx:gen126:
 
hi julesy

I a sending you a massive hug, you are doing really well.
it is a really hard diet i am struggling today, kids sat down for there dinner and i went and cleaned the bathroom again!!
Like others have said why not go up a plan and have meal with your kids in the evening, from some of the messages i have read there is not a lot between the monthly weight loss.
When i started cd the first time round i did about 10 days ssing and just blew it out could not handle it but this time i have promised my self that if i get to the 10 day crunch i will go up a plan even if i have to shoot up the 1000 cal plan but try and keep going.
You are a mom of 3 kids so already you are a champion.x
 
I cannot thank you all so much for your positive words of encouragement and hope.........

I just had a chat with my children and explained a little how I was feeling and also about the 790 plan that was suggested......and they all thought it would be lovely to have mum sat down for tea with them as we have done for years and they are all going to do their bestest to help me out as much as they can.......and so I'm going to have a word with my CDC Mandy, and ask her if it would be ok for me to do the 790......I'm going to SS until I get back into ketosis (just to be on the safe side) and then start the 790 for real.......

Thank you all so much for your help and understanding.....it really really does mean alot to me xxx:gen126:

The 790's fine hun, also there are the new stages just coming in which we can chat about when I see you.

love xxxxx:)
 
Do you get the chance to do anything active with the kids? I began to have weight problems when I was at school, and only realized 10 years later how much easier it all was when I found doing some exercise more enjoyable, does she like skating, or dancing perhaps? I know I'd have benefitted much more from doing something like that than starting to be really aware of dieting when I was so young.

I do try to get out with the children on a weekend and we go for walks and play football together etc, however I do find it hard to do anything else as I'm very self conscious about my weight and so won't take them swimming etc......:(
But I have just ordered the Davina DVD and so I'm going to make it a girly thing for me and my daughter to do together, and hopefully when I've lost some more weight I can start to take the children out alot more and do more physical things with them......

Its like a catch 22 situation at times....we know we need to do more excercise but we feel so self conscious about our weight it hinders us.......bit of a bugger isn't it!

My daughter is great at doing exercise though, she plays every sport going at school and has taken PE as a GCSE......for her I think its all the unhealthy snacks she had that is more of a problem.....:(
 
The 790's fine hun, also there are the new stages just coming in which we can chat about when I see you.

love xxxxx:)

Thank you sweetie......I really really appreciate that! Hopefully when I next see you I will have my 'head' back on! :)
(((((hugs)))))
 
Hey Julesy.....please don't feel like a failure ! sounds to me like you are doing a fab job bringing up your kids single handed !!!

Why not think about the 790 plan ?? that would mean you could have some protein and veg/salad with them every day.......losses are still great - 10 to 12 lbs per month.....

I think you are amazing and certainly not a big fat failure.....you rock !!!

stick with it....a couple of blips along the way is common for most of us - this diet IS hard....and doubly so if you have other pressures in your life as well.....

wishing you every success in your weight loss journey - I know you can do this :)

lotsa love

Debz xx
 
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