Finding things difficult

[evilpenguin]

Hey guys

I can't stop thinking about this so I have to post here, maybe you guys can understand what I'm on about? lol

I have been fat forever - no joke. The last pictures of me at a healthy weight were taken before I started primary school. It's a long story but basically my gran overfed me and my mum got in trouble for putting me on a diet (gp said she would turn me anorexic by the time I was a teenager).. so anyway I've always been big, and for the past 3 years I've been farting around with diets. I had no idea how to diet properly until I discovered SW in 2009. One year later and I'm only 6lbs lighter than I was then. I know if I don't cheat the plan then it works, but I can't stop cheating it. I feel so horrible. I think I'm scared that because I've always been fat then that's just the way it is. I don't know what to do. Why is it so bloody hard?

I just got back from holiday and from the day I finished up at work for it I've been on this eating binge. I promised myself I would start back on SW today but my mum had a belated birthday thing for me and we had cake..! Its still in my kitchen, I don't want to eat it but I know I probably will. I can't make my bf eat it all and I don't want to waste it by throwing it either.. if tomorrow is my day for getting back on track then the cake will have to go, right?

Sorry this is rambly, I just need to share. Not even sure what I want out of sharing it! I feel lost, like I'm not myself. I'm upset at myself for being overweight, I wish it hadn't taken me this long to figure out how unhappy I am with my weight

Sometimes I think a strict low calorie diet would suit me better, or food replacement.. but it's too strict - I would rebel and eat everything. Maybe I should re join a SW group? Hmm

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I feel so silly for crying over this. I really need to hire someone who will come round and slap me if I go off track with my eating. I have been needing someone to slap me for a long long time.

 

[Mini]

I had no idea how to diet properly until I discovered SW in 2009. One year later and I'm only 6lbs lighter than I was then. I know if I don't cheat the plan then it works, but I can't stop cheating it. I feel so horrible. I think I'm scared that because I've always been fat then that's just the way it is. I don't know what to do. Why is it so bloody hard?

I think it is great that you are 6lbs lighter as that is an achievement in itself...so many people probably wish they were able to stop gaining weight and have the added bonus of being 6lb lighter a year on.

Go back to glass and talk to your class leader and explain how you feel that way then she can monitor you more closely and help give you pointers where you might be going wrong with what you are eating, that is what she is there for.

As for the left over cake, ask yourself this are you eating it because it is nice or the fact you don't want to waste it?

If it is because you don't want to waste it, then throw it in the bin as you are not a human dustbin.

If you want to eat because it is nice then allow yourself the pleasure and enjoyment without the guilt, whatever you decide be honest with yourself for the reasons...as it is only then you can do something about it.

Remember tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning.

 

[Carolinewatson]

First thing is stick at it. Ask yourself (looking at the cake and talking out loud) Do I want to eat all this or do I want to take control of my life and slim down and get healthy? Throwing the cake out is not wasting it, it is saving you heartache and lbs. It was nice of your mum to get it and mums always want to feed us up no matter what age we are, but thank her and mention that really you're trying to be good regarding food and that in the future could she get you a non food birthday treat like flowers, make up, a new book (SW Recipes) and explain that it would just make your life so much easier. Keep busy and keep focused. It is hard losing weight, especially when you have been overweight for so long, but YOU can do it. Get positive, re-read your SW literature and start a fresh. Good luck.

 

[suepat10]

Have you got a friend or a family member you can talk to about this. It sounds like your immediate family are more of a cause than a help and aren't really going to support you with this.

Have a chat with your consultant, she may be able to 'pair you up' with somebody in the class who will be willing to be a 'diet buddy' and support between classes xx

 

[judimac]

I really do think that going to class can help. Apart from the support you get, there's the dreaded weigh in.
Alot of losing weight is that it has to be the right time for you. I was brought up shortly after the war when it was obligatry to clear your plate, and the only praise I remember when I was very young was for doing this. I have constantly rewarded myself with food. If I was happy I ate, if I was unhappy I ate, if I was bored I ate . Sooner or later if you stick at it, something will eventually "click" and once you feel in control you will have no problem shedding the pounds. Good luck!

 

[eternity]

I agree with Judimac about one day someting will just click. Keep trying until it becomes normal for you to be trying, then it'll be a start.

About the cake - I would have eaten the cake a couple of years ago because I didn't trust myself to still be on a diet a week later and I would have kicked myself for wasting the cake, if you see what I mean? Lately I would just have a piece of cake then get rid of the rest, maybe feed it to the birds if you don't want to put it in the bin.

Don't let the fact that you've always been fat put you off trying to lose weight. I don't know how old you are but I'm 52 and I still wanted to lose weight even though it's been a lifelong battle, I was a fat child aswell.
Keep trying.

 

[Littleslimmingbee]

hey hunny. I can completly understand how you feel ((hugs)) Its difficult when you have all those good intentions and somthing like this comes along to jeporadise it all.


As youv said the plan really does work when you do it, and your not the only one like this, as iv mentioned before my best friend has been coming with me to sw for over a year now and is now a few lbs heavier than when she started, but i think shes really found her feet now.. Many would have given up, but i think its all credit to you (and to her) that you havnt.. and 6lbs off after a year, although in the long run you would have liked more off.. atleast it wasnt 6lbs on per month like it could be if you never did sw at all.

Now, as for the cake. Im not going to lie to you. I would eat it, infact i would proberly eat the entire lot or untill i feel sick. . because for me, when i feel like you do now, i just have to binge and binge untill i get to the point i feel sick, till i am so digusted with myself and feel so unwell, it remember all over again why i dont like my life like that anymore, then my motivation is so much stronger for it, rather than constantly having cake on my mind (even if i'd put in the bin) it'd be calling me.. and id cave.. and even if i stuck it out the entire week without binging, after Wi id throw it all away again. so if you dont think you can do it, do it now and start afresh tomorrow.

You need to rethink why you started, and start over, fresh minded. If i were you i'd rejoin a group, get a new pack and rebegin as a newbie.

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Roz V]

I think that you should join a SW group again ASAP. Everyone there is in the same boat, and you will get lots of support from the class that you are not getting from your family.

As for the cake, what I would do is allow myself ONE more slice, which I would savour and enjoy, and, rather than putting the rest into the bin - something that I would find REALLY hard to do, as I too hate waste - I would find somewhere that you could put it out for the birds or foxes, or even feed it to the ducks in the local park!

I do sympathise so much with your predicament, but, IMHO, a really strict diet is NOT the way to go. Once you rejoin a group, get all the up to date literature, and get back into the swing of things, you'll see that SW really is a plan for life, something that you can continue forever, not just a short term fix.

Sending you Very Best Wishes, Roz V.

PS I'd started this BEFORE the last 3 posts, but, with being SO slow, and the distraction of Andrew Marr on the TV, I'm sorry to have repeated other's advice. Good Luck.

 

[Moo85]

Hi, I agree with SuePat10, it sounds like you really need support from friends/family/partner (or someone outside that circle) with this. Don't be afraid to ask for it - you are trying to do something positive for your health and self-esteem so they should be behind you all the way. It is easier if you get others on side - ask them not to tempt you by bringing cakes/inviting you for pizza etc. Also don't get so down on yourself - losing 6lbs is a step in the right direction. Maybe try taking SW 1day at a time and really congratulating yourself every day that you stick to it. I would even try rewarding yourself at the end of each good day. If you have a bad day, try not to punish yourself and just draw a line under it and start again the next day. But whatever you do, don't have 1 bad day and write off the whole week - 1 bad day doesn't usually hurt but when you give up that's when a weight gain happens. Good luck x
Ps. chuck the cake in the bin!!

 

[Happy Holidays]

Just because you've been fat forever doesn't mean you have to continue being fat.

There is nothing to be scared off by losing weight, you'll feel much better in yourself, have more confidence, more energy & just happier.

I'd re-join class and come on here more.

I understand the cake & not wasting it, I was brought up not to waste anything & it's really hard to bin good food. So take it into work, share it with your friends, that way you're not eating it & it's not being wasted.

You can do this & we are here to help you

 

[tinkerbellsmum]

aww hun i really sympathise with u but u started this jounrey for a reason hun and u need to remember what it is.
that cake might be nice but is it really do u eat it while doing nothing else so u taste it cause most of the time we don't and i have found out i don't like alot of the food i thought i liked.
either way i suggest u quickly (now cause if u think about it u won't do it) without thinking throw it in the bin (and if anyone asks u dropped it on the floor) its not a waste hun cause while ever its there u r making things harder for yourself.
now go round the rest of the kitchen i remove anything high syned bin it or get someone else to hide it.
i can only do it if theres nothing to tempt me in the house in. i can't even buy low syned treats in multi packs cause i will eat the lot.
next sit down plan your meals for the week plan lots of meals u love make it a varied as possiable.
if possiable join a class (i can't do it without class no one to answer to)
lastly get hold of a copy of paul mckenna i can make u thin(u can get it from libary or read it swap it or amazon) i do this with sw and it works great.
lastly and most important believe in yourself hun u can do it and u r gonna look amazing hun. look out world here u come.

 

[Fii74]

When I was reading your post, it was like I was reading something I wrote myself.

I've spent the last year really getting to know the Extra Easy plan. I haven't been following it, but slowly, over that year I have been eating less and making tiny choices to improve my diet. My boyfriend and I used to be able to polish off a heck of a lot, but now we find that we don't eat half as much.

This coming Wednesday I am going to join SW and I feel much more positive because i've been building myself up mentally for quite some time now.

Well done for being 6lbs lighter in that year, it is such an acheivement. Good luck with everything.

x

 

[evilpenguin]

Thanks for all of your replies. It's so easy to feel alone with this so thanks for all of your support, this forum is wonderful just wish I had found it years ago.

I am pleased to say that me and my mum are re-joining a group this week, I text her today to ask if she fancied it. She quit smoking at the start of the year and has put on some weight so she wants to get back into it and lose the lbs. It's a different C at this group too so I hope she's nice + better than the last C we had. First class is on Wednesday, my usual weigh in day, so I officially go 110% into Slimming World starting then! It's payday then too so I can stock up on lots of veggies and meats.

As for the cake- it's gone, but not in the bin. Me and my bf had the last chunk of it after dinner (which was those not in a pot noodle packets so not very filling) so it's not there to ruin another day. I didn't feel guilty for eating it or cry or feel sick as I know on Wednesday it's a fresh start!

Thanks again for your replies xxxx

 

[tinkerbellsmum]

good luck hun u can do it and we r all here for u

 

[squiddie]

Fantastic advice as always. Only thing I have to add is that I too have a deep set feeling of I don't know what I'd be like thinner. I've never seen it, I haven't gained weight and have an idea of what I'd want to get 'back' to. All my friends have always said "Oh I can't imagine you thin" For me atleast it gets to a point where I've lost enough weight that my appearance changes and it gets noticed something deep inside my mind, for whatever reason - fear, unknowing, subconciously makes me start eating again because I'm scared of the change.

When this starts to happen you have to plow through and see what happens. If I get to target and hate the new me I can always eat my way back! Take it day by day, meal by meal - if you have your mind made up you want to make a change to your life then that should be applauded and supported. Go to group, tell your close friends and family and don't stop believing.

All the best
Natt xxx

 

[missgalaxy]

Have just read your post and want to say a HUGE well done on making the first step and rejoining a class!

Get all the support and advice you need from class, especially from the other members and the consultant and remember, there is always somebody on here who can help/advice and offer support!

Good luck on your fresh,new SW journey! xxx

 

[SlimDreams]

Evilpenguin, i just want to endorse what everyone has said and to add. That in some ways it is more comfortable to be fat than slimmer because that is all you have known (me too) so when you start to loose weight it is hard to know how to "be". So each time you sabotage it is a way of not changing!!! BUT you can do it and if you go off plan then dont beat yourself up about it just go straight back on and little by little the new slimmer you will emerge and you will learn how to "be".
Your 6lb loss is a great achievement and there will be more. This site is fantastic for support keep posting if you need.
Enjoy your classes with your mum and good luck
xx