malamobile
Silver Member
Looks lovely and it will fit in 6 weeks. I was daring myself to post a photo of now and 6 weeks time in a bikini bug not sure the change would be worth it... May just post the bikini!!
Food without the angst - Vegan SW
- Thread starter Micci
- Start date
Looks lovely and it will fit in 6 weeks. I was daring myself to post a photo of now and 6 weeks time in a bikini bug not sure the change would be worth it... May just post the bikini!!
WasMicci
Silver Member
Food notes:
Couscous salad
1 Pack of Ainsley Harriott Sund Dried Tomato and Garlic instant couscous (4 syns for the new large packet) 1 tin of chick peas rinsed and drained. A whole large bunch of tomatoes, courgettes, red peppers roasted with garlic frylight. Any odd salad leaves you have around, I used spinach, rocket and some frilly lettuce. Mix together and enjoy.
Cauliflower snack
Roast cauliflower (broken up into small florets) sprayed with garlic frylight. It is surprisingly good. Very good indeed.
Couscous salad
1 Pack of Ainsley Harriott Sund Dried Tomato and Garlic instant couscous (4 syns for the new large packet) 1 tin of chick peas rinsed and drained. A whole large bunch of tomatoes, courgettes, red peppers roasted with garlic frylight. Any odd salad leaves you have around, I used spinach, rocket and some frilly lettuce. Mix together and enjoy.
Cauliflower snack
Roast cauliflower (broken up into small florets) sprayed with garlic frylight. It is surprisingly good. Very good indeed.
WasMicci
Silver Member
Crikey, I was last here 5 days ago. Well, I've been self sabotaging with a vengeance, this birthday week has completely knocked me off course. Tonight will be a valuable learning experience ( 
) I will learn it is OK to go to get weighed, and to have a significant gain, I will stay for the talking bit, ruefully accept I need to pull my socks up and get back on track. Tbh, this is something I have avoided in the past. Once the downward spiral started I wouldn't go to a group and then a few months later I'd look for a new group where nobody knew me. Something to do with not accepting less than perfection for myself.
) I will learn it is OK to go to get weighed, and to have a significant gain, I will stay for the talking bit, ruefully accept I need to pull my socks up and get back on track. Tbh, this is something I have avoided in the past. Once the downward spiral started I wouldn't go to a group and then a few months later I'd look for a new group where nobody knew me. Something to do with not accepting less than perfection for myself.
WasMicci
Silver Member
Well well, a remarkably appropriate article popped up in an inbox on an account I rarely use. It explains a lot. College Life & The Perfectionist: A Road to Difficulties and Possibly an Eating Disorder | Eating Disorder Hope
BeeBeeSee
Gold Member
Crikey, I was last here 5 days ago. Well, I've been self sabotaging with a vengeance, this birthday week has completely knocked me off course. Tonight will be a valuable learning experience (
Hey Micci. Sorry to hear you have struggled. But it seems you have reined it in before it got out of control, think of how in the past this may have led you on to weeks/months of bingeing. It's important to face up to it like you do, going to the group and just accepting the consequences of the last few days. It's part of the process of getting back on track and I'm sure you'll do just fine. Going to group after having had a few off days makes me feel like I'm in the spot light and I seem to radiate guilt. But seriously, it's just life. When I sit there and listen to others who had a gain and they explain why I just take it on board and respect their honesty. I don't think badly of them. In fact, it makes me feel confident enough that I can face up to it if I went off plan. So don't just think of it as being good for you. Also for others in your group who you could instill some confidence into that going to group isn't about showing off amazing results. Going to group is exactly what it says on the tin. You get together and share your week's experiences. Whatever they may be.
WasMicci
Silver Member
Oh dear, it went from bad to worse. After pulling myself together after the birthday my mother was taken ill and I spent time in the hospital with her, and later back at her home. I've not been back for a WI yet and I'll miss next week as I've got a market research team round my house to interview a friend and myself. eeeeek, the tidying I will have to do, they will video us and I know what my walls of book shelves (books plus) look like in photographs. Still I have been back on track for three days in a row.
I'm so silly about this, I run away from the whole idea of eating sensibly and hide away from the support sites where I would get support and regain inspiration. But perhpaps I wouldn't get inspiration but would feel worse for being unable to shake of the binge. Anyway, what was it, two or three weeks intermittant binge is a lot better than I've done before. Month / years on and off.
You are quite right Bee, aboit still going to the sessions when the week has not gone well. It's not just about going and doing well, its about also going when it's been difficult and using SW to get back on track. But I'm a contrary sod, I get focused and back on track on my own and then use SW for weighing and syn values. Mostly.
Ironically I'd bought a count down before this episode so I think that has still been useful. I could look up HEs and syn values still, and I know I can go back and not have to rejoin. Which is my other previous habit.
Thinking about it, I could go on Monday and see where I am, to establish a baseline. You know, one of those lines we are encouraged to draw under things
I'm so silly about this, I run away from the whole idea of eating sensibly and hide away from the support sites where I would get support and regain inspiration. But perhpaps I wouldn't get inspiration but would feel worse for being unable to shake of the binge. Anyway, what was it, two or three weeks intermittant binge is a lot better than I've done before. Month / years on and off.
You are quite right Bee, aboit still going to the sessions when the week has not gone well. It's not just about going and doing well, its about also going when it's been difficult and using SW to get back on track. But I'm a contrary sod, I get focused and back on track on my own and then use SW for weighing and syn values. Mostly.
Ironically I'd bought a count down before this episode so I think that has still been useful. I could look up HEs and syn values still, and I know I can go back and not have to rejoin. Which is my other previous habit.
Thinking about it, I could go on Monday and see where I am, to establish a baseline. You know, one of those lines we are encouraged to draw under things
kami2112
Silver Member
I will be going back on Monday after two weeks off, I have been on holiday and had gained half a stone after the first week. Come Back with me and we will compare!!
Don't beat yourself up, you've had a really hard time lately and can draw the line whenever you're ready x
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins.com
Don't beat yourself up, you've had a really hard time lately and can draw the line whenever you're ready x
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins.com
malamobile
Silver Member
Oh dear, it went from bad to worse. After pulling myself together after the birthday my mother was taken ill and I spent time in the hospital with her, and later back at her home. I've not been back for a WI yet and I'll miss next week as I've got a market research team round my house to interview a friend and myself. eeeeek, the tidying I will have to do, they will video us and I know what my walls of book shelves (books plus) look like in photographs. Still I have been back on track for three days in a row. I'm so silly about this, I run away from the whole idea of eating sensibly and hide away from the support sites where I would get support and regain inspiration. But perhpaps I wouldn't get inspiration but would feel worse for being unable to shake of the binge. Anyway, what was it, two or three weeks intermittant binge is a lot better than I've done before. Month / years on and off. You are quite right Bee, aboit still going to the sessions when the week has not gone well. It's not just about going and doing well, its about also going when it's been difficult and using SW to get back on track. But I'm a contrary sod, I get focused and back on track on my own and then use SW for weighing and syn values. Mostly. Ironically I'd bought a count down before this episode so I think that has still been useful. I could look up HEs and syn values still, and I know I can go back and not have to rejoin. Which is my other previous habit. Thinking about it, I could go on Monday and see where I am, to establish a baseline. You know, one of those lines we are encouraged to draw under things
I think you've done well to stop your eating and get back on track so fast. It's such a change & you must be really pleased how focussed you are.
WasMicci
Silver Member
I had an interesting chat with OH this morning. He is pleased for my sake that I now take more pride in my appearance, wear brighter colours and, well, generally take more care. He said where he works there are thousands of people and he has noticed that the larger ladies who wear black generally look less happy than the larger ladies who wear bright colours. Some people are fat and sad, some people are fat and happy. I vastly prefer fat and happy and am glad that he noticed and supports me in this. I used to wear black and dark grey all the time, then at the same time as I started feeling better about myself I started losing weight and buying nicer clothes. Having a nearby outlet charity shop that stocks larger clothes is a big help in this, I treat it as a clothes library. When these get too big I can take them back and get smaller ones.
Food over the last few days has been good, tofu sushi, bean burgers, fruit etc. All on track. Had about 11 syns the day before yesterday, around 7 yesterday - all good.
Food over the last few days has been good, tofu sushi, bean burgers, fruit etc. All on track. Had about 11 syns the day before yesterday, around 7 yesterday - all good.
malamobile
Silver Member
Happiness is more attractive all round. Sometimes we struggle with this due to feeling down about our bodies but if we think 'this is me and I'm happy even if I'm not happy with my bod as it is' we will seem so much sexier!
BeeBeeSee
Gold Member
There is a lot of truth in what you said about wearing bright colours. It's often a subconscious thing wanting to blend into the background and not being seen. And bright colours naturally stand out. I used to be very similar in that I would always be in black whereas over the last few years my wardrobe has brightened up enormously and it makes me happy to put my clothes on
I gain a lot of inspiration and support from reading your posts Micci. You may be on a bumpy road but you are sticking with it. The struggle we face especially as those struggling with an eating disorder can sometimes feel so overwhelming that for a very brief window giving in to the addiction is almost a relief. Which never lasts very long and is inevitably followed by very negative, often unkind feelings towards yourself. But the truth is there isn't an alternative really. Sticking with something beneficial like the SW plan gives structure and helps to return to the road you are on rather than veering off and driving off into binge oblivion. That is the best way to be on.
I gain a lot of inspiration and support from reading your posts Micci. You may be on a bumpy road but you are sticking with it. The struggle we face especially as those struggling with an eating disorder can sometimes feel so overwhelming that for a very brief window giving in to the addiction is almost a relief. Which never lasts very long and is inevitably followed by very negative, often unkind feelings towards yourself. But the truth is there isn't an alternative really. Sticking with something beneficial like the SW plan gives structure and helps to return to the road you are on rather than veering off and driving off into binge oblivion. That is the best way to be on.
WasMicci
Silver Member
You are so right, that is just the sort of feeling I am working with now.
WasMicci
Silver Member
Gulp ... thanks !!!!
Well, I still have no idea how much I weigh, I couldn't get to the session last night and tonight (hooray and jumping up and down with happiness) I take the lad to a martial arts group he is mad keen to join. It is a Philipino discipline called Escrima, you do it with sticks, knives, swords or empty handed or any combination of the above. I did it a while ago but couldn't hack the flicking wrist movements due to having RSI in my wrists, I prefered it when we just used to punch each other. But the chap I trained with, and was mates with him and his partner, is now VERY MUCH a name to drop in those circles so when my lad enjoyed playing with heavy training swords whilst he was away, this was the direction I steered him in.
So, in five minutes time we will leave and walk up to the station. It's a drive to an area I don't know, with dubious parking so the train makes good sense. I also have a 'hidden agenda' in that I hope one day he will be able to do the journey on his own. I won't get too ambitious though, let's just see how tonight goes.
It's funny, I'm verily happily focused on SW, eating 2 buiscuits and leaving it at that and having half a pack of crisps. The bingey feelings seem quite alien to me now. But I know the potential for them is just round the corner, so I keep talking to myself about how good it feels to be lighter and narrower, to be able to cross my legs again, to cut my toenails with ease ... and SHAME .... to by able to wipe my bum easily ... to be able to run for a train without thinking ... and hopefully I will get quicker and quicker at getting back on track and eventually not fall off.
Food today, a couple of apples, 2 weetabix (HE B) some hazelnut milk (part HE A) large plate of dahl with red lentils, potatoes, courgettes and green beans, 2 biscuits at 3.5 syns each and some crisps someone had left out and I don't know how much they had of the pack so a token 3 syns for that (4 syns for the whole pack)
I'll take some bananas for me and the lad later. Oh oh oh, he is autistic, as I've said before, and very much wants to lose weight. The only way I know is SW so that is SORT of what I'm doing with him. But my oh my, the fixed view point that can come with autism. He was outraged by the idea of counting a small number of mini wheatabix into his bowl. It really was funny as he told me that this is JUST NOT how it is done, that 12 weatabix is TOTALLY inadequate. In which he is right of course. LOL
Bye for now ...
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WasMicci
Silver Member
We did it, and my boy loved it. I sat in a corner wishing I was playing too but I doubt very much that my body could actually do what I was remembering doing. Like that oh so embarrassing time I went to a recorder music performance and ended up joining in. And being unable to play the music from the new book they got out after I'd been loaned an instrument. That was awful
Food was sensible too, I had a big chickpea and tomato salad and for a pre bedtime snack I had two ordinary wheatabix with a chopped up apple and hazelnut milk.
More good news was I tried on a top that was too tight and didn't do up some months ago aand it FITS!!!! I shall drown in a plethora of exclamation marks, I am so pleased.
This is a youtube soundtrack for a 30 minute powernap. I used it this pm whe feeling very very tired and it enlivened me enough to get through the evening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmiT9PyV1Tw
Food was sensible too, I had a big chickpea and tomato salad and for a pre bedtime snack I had two ordinary wheatabix with a chopped up apple and hazelnut milk.
More good news was I tried on a top that was too tight and didn't do up some months ago aand it FITS!!!! I shall drown in a plethora of exclamation marks, I am so pleased.
This is a youtube soundtrack for a 30 minute powernap. I used it this pm whe feeling very very tired and it enlivened me enough to get through the evening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmiT9PyV1Tw
WasMicci
Silver Member
Sorry, I missed this. Thanks Kami. You are right, the crucial part of what you said is 'when you are ready' and I am now. Your 7 lbs will go soon enough. Naturally slender people vary over the course of a few weeks, the thing is that they seem to intuitively rein in their eating to compensate. We get angsty and re-read our SW books. But we can do it, and will.
I'll go and have a look at your diary and keep an eye on your stats
I picked up different scales today. Not having learnt 100% from the previous experience. Honestly, lets just laugh at me. I jumped on them, only once knowing the figure would be innacurate as I'd just eaten, needed to go to the toilet and had keys and money in my pocket. The figure I got from them was 3lbs heavier than what I last weighed at SW. Just what I got from that experience I do not know. Probably a month's worth of counselling would be needed to unravel that. But as I no longer go to counselling I will bore every one here with it at some time.
WasMicci
Silver Member
My favourite inspirational podcasts have all been put here, with the oh so annoying ads removed https://www.insideoutweightloss.com/podcasts?page=1
kami2112
Silver Member
Oh I'm so glad you are ready hun.
I can really relate to the scales. I had to find a really strong moment and chuck them straight in the outside bin so I couldn't get them out again. I knew they were wrong, I lost 2 stone once by putting them on the carpet and yet I still stood on them multiple times a day!!
Loving all the links you are putting up hun. Will try and make some time for them at the weekend, thanks for sharing.
Best of luck in your fresh start xx
I can really relate to the scales. I had to find a really strong moment and chuck them straight in the outside bin so I couldn't get them out again. I knew they were wrong, I lost 2 stone once by putting them on the carpet
and yet I still stood on them multiple times a day!!Loving all the links you are putting up hun. Will try and make some time for them at the weekend, thanks for sharing.
Best of luck in your fresh start xx
WasMicci
Silver Member
^^^ LOL at the scales story.
Here's a delicious and totally free Thai(ish) veggie sauce to have with noodles or rice.
Use Alpro coconut milk (the chilled one is 600 ml for an A choice on Green, no mention of the ambient one but I'm using it anyway) and boil it with sliced cabbage, sweet red peppers, spring onions, what ever veggies you have to hand and like. Baby sweetcorn would be nice. Thicken with a tin of pureed white beans. Add some tomato puree (with garlic if you like). Season with onion salt, red pepper flakes and a squeeze of lemon juice. Either add noodles (fat free) to this, or pour over rice. All quantities adjustable depending on what you have to hand and how many you are cooking for. GF as well if you eat this with rice of rice noodles.
Here's a delicious and totally free Thai(ish) veggie sauce to have with noodles or rice.
Use Alpro coconut milk (the chilled one is 600 ml for an A choice on Green, no mention of the ambient one but I'm using it anyway) and boil it with sliced cabbage, sweet red peppers, spring onions, what ever veggies you have to hand and like. Baby sweetcorn would be nice. Thicken with a tin of pureed white beans. Add some tomato puree (with garlic if you like). Season with onion salt, red pepper flakes and a squeeze of lemon juice. Either add noodles (fat free) to this, or pour over rice. All quantities adjustable depending on what you have to hand and how many you are cooking for. GF as well if you eat this with rice of rice noodles.
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