For F Sake Why Can't I Do This???

[Surfhunny]

I'm so frustrated!! :cry:Those people who know me, know I've really been struggling since getting back on CD, mostly because I've had so many food orientated social events since I started CD, unfortunately there's no way I could get out of any of them and as a result I've more or less been treading water since the beginning of February. :ashamed0005:

I know I should be able to go to these things and not eat, but my friends are really not supportive of me doing CD and don't understand, so I've given up trying to justify etc what I'm doing.

Anyway my last 'event' for a while is on Thursday, and I just can't seem to get it together to be 100% in the mean time because I know Thursday I'm off plan again. I'm really disappointed in myself:cry:, especially because I was so focussed and so successful last time I did this.

I'm hoping that once Thursday is over and I have no more excuses :ignore: I'll be able to get my head together and get on with it. I can say no to all the other social things that come up if I need to, but these ones have been family christenings (Thurs) best friends leaving do (last Frid), Good friends surprise 30th (wekk gone Fri) and good friends baby shower (a week gone Sat), These I absolutely could not get out of.

My heart wants this but my head won't let me. I don't know how to get my focus back. Sometimes doing it for me just doesn't seem important enough - I'm not important enough somehow:sigh:.

However, I have just booked a holiday for November - going to New York and Las Vegas:airplane: with the girls for my friends 30th. Right now I'm the fat friend, and I really don't want to be the fat friend on this holiday, I want to enjoy having my photo taken, I want to be in the New York photo's this time, I wasn't last time.

I guess I just need a good kick up the jacksy:whoopass: and to get a grip and get on with it!:ignore: I really really hope that after Thursday I'll be okay - Thursday seems to be my hurdle!

Sorry for such a long rant :sign0007:, but I needed to get it off my chest and try and get some ideas about how to get my head back into gear! :gen147:

 

[mrsessex]

A holiday booked always worked for me!!!!!

I reckon after Thursday you'll be ok

Seems you want this bad enough you've made an entire thread on it!!! Good going, it helps to blurt it all out!!!

Have you visited your CDC lately?

 

[blush]

hey i know exactly how u feel, i was doing so well when i started then a few social events and it all went pear shaped n now just cant get back on track.... i too really want to lose weight and not just think about it this time, i think your right in that its all about gettng the mind in the right place for it all to click in place, having a goal helps and aslong as you keep that in the picture atleat you know your making small steps towards it... wish i was as good as some of the people here and shed it all in a few months but looks like il be the one dragging it out..lol good luck with it all xxx

 

[Surfhunny]

Thanks Leah, No I haven't it'll be 2 weeks on Wed cos she's been away. I always seem to need her when she's not here. And now I'm actually a bit scared of going on Wed because I know I've put on:cry:.

I'm just so frustrated by it all. And I really hope I can get over this, I've resorted to reading a book about overeating in an attempt to try and get my focus back. I seriously hope that Thursday is the end of it!! I'm starting to get really annoyed with myself grrrr

Thanks Blush, I wondered if it was because I don't have as much to lose as I did last time which is why things are taking longer. I think I'm going to look at Thursday as the 'Last Supper', and then nothing but CD and water will cross my lips!

 

[mrsessex]

Well sometimes it's good to have a day set to start, doesn't work for everyone

As I say you want this bad enough, you'll do it

 

[Surfhunny]

I also wonder if I'm just making excuses - actually I know I am!! I'm actually a little bit scared that when I get back to target again I'll end up putting weight back on again. It took a good while for 2 and a half st to creep back on but I'm terrified I'll let it happen again, despite the fact that this time I have plans in place to avoid this happening.

I think I'm dilly dallying about because I'm scared!!

 

[Obsy]

Why don't you try writing two lists, the first you write down how you feel now about your weight, how it holds you back etc and the second you write down how you feel when you've lost it etc. Then look at each list and decide which you want more. Everytime you feel you're struggling, look at each to spur you on xx