Fresh Start as of now!!!

[LizzMB]

Ok, so i have had a nightmare couple of weeks! not all the time, but 2/3 days a week seem to be horrific for me in terms of chocolate so i have decided now enough is enough!

I am determined not to continue this cycle a moment longer!

I spent some of this week on the 1000 cal plan and ended up having more fruit than i should, then in came the chocs and ice cream etc!

I do seem to have a reason for it though. I havent had a period for over 2 months and i have FINALLY come on (Sorry if TMI) so i am dead happy! but it would also make sense to the constant need to eat at the moment! Didnt even realise i was coming on, just thought i as picking more than usual and losing the plot!

I am NOT losing the plot!

Today, i spent all day starving myself (i know i know) repenting from last nights binge....and then i thought i should go back on SS blar blar blar.

Then reality has kicked back in!

I will NOT turn to SS becuase i have cocked up! I will accept the scales becuase i need to accept the consequences of eating badly!

In the morning (its just gone midnight!), i will be going for a run. The first of many now i'm on 1000 plan.

I am also totally GIVING up chocolate! Its obvously something i can not have in moderation so i'm cutting it out completely!

No CD bar's, no CD Choc shakes, no hot choc etc NOTHING! I will not be dragged down by something i know i dont need and i will beat this stupid cycle of self-destruction!

I am 100% on board now! CD is the way forward and i am worth more than getting big again!

i hate that i feel fatter! I hate that i LOOK fatter.

I hate that i am letting myself down!

I hate that i have lost that wonderful feeling of what it was like to get to "healthy" and it seems to have been a downward spiral since then!

It was my wedding anniversary today (or yesterday - Friday) and i had a nice meal for dinner....tuna steak, 200g new potatoes and asparagus....all totally on plan and all lovely!

I now have 7 weeks until my birthday and i will get into the 10's by then!

Sorry for the moan/verbal self-*****-slap but i think i need to publically proclaim that i have cocked up....but the journey to repair this and me has started now!

I WILL NOT COMFORT EAT!!!!!!!!!!


xxx

 

[AlexIce]

oooh Lizz - Power to you! Well done. Seems like you are doing the right thing and going about starting a healthy eating plan. Probably a good idea if you know you have a problem food, to keep away from it until you have stabilised your weight and know you can cope.
Don't get down on yourself at all - ok so you wobbled but you know what you are going to do now and know the pitfalls so I am sure you will stick to it and get to where you want to be.

 

[Blingbabe]

Thats a really positive post, good luck with healthy eating and exercise. I can relate to so very much of what you wrote, unfortunately I have always failed in the past with losing the last few pounds and maintaining. Best wishes for succeeding, you have accomplished a great deal already x

 

[curlywurly1234]

Lizz,
Well done hon you sound so positive which is great! Sometimes we find ourselves going off the rails but good on you for realising and putting it all behind you.. You have done amazingly well so go girl!
I too have had a nightmare with totm whilst doing CD and always find just before it arrives I crave sugar then I get it... which has just happened to me.
Heres to lots of healthy eating and exercise hon and you will feel much better for it.
take care xxxx

 

[mrsessex]

All the best on your re-start, im sure you'll whiz through this next stage

 

[charley24]

Hi Lizz, I am with you hun !!!! Altho I am having to SS as I just can't help myself ! I know how you feel, after getting to 11 stone and then putting on pounds (after our amazing holidays) but it is hard to get back on track after really enjoying eating again.

I weighed in today and am now 11.1, since our goals are the same to be 10.7, lets hope we can spur each other on.

I have my dad and family staying with us next weekend, which will be difficult as I am going to try and 810 when they are here. I stayed with them when I was SS in the summer and of course did not partake in the food/drink. Now it is at our house I am going to try and not go mad, to be honest I could do without their visit but it was arranged long ago, so I am going to SS until then for minimal damage I hope.

Come on Liz, we only have 18lbs to go !!! It's not much when you think of what we have lost already !!!

Big Hug xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Kira]

Lizz well done (for the "self slap" and recognizing that you need to give yourself one!) I totally understand how you feel and why you need to self slap. I think that is what I did when I finally got back on track with CD after so many re-starts. I really admire you!

 

[slimwannabe]

Hey liz you have come such a long way hon and i am sure we all have or will fall off the wagon at some point!

For me between you and charley its you ladies that keep me going on my journey,i have only been on CD for 7 weeks and have found this past week quite hard,haven't eaten but seem to be struggling with the water intake as am soooo cold all i want is nice hot drinks.

You will get to your goal as you have that determination so keep going and we will all be here to cheer you on hon xx

 

[boardwitless]

Hey Lizz, positive post, your head seems to be in the right place now and it's good to read because it rings true with me too. I have lowered my target and after a gain on holiday (I do like to get my money's worth of the buffet so it's not as though it was unexpected), I have 17lbs to go which I have worked out will be early December. Six or seven weeks of coming up through the plans. I can do this, you can do it.
If complete choc abstinence is your way then more power to you. I have found that diabetic choc doesn't trigger cravings and I have stuck to one or two chunks a day when treating myself which is unheard of for me.

 

[Mrs Taurus]

Go for it Liz,you are an inspiration to us all. I only started adding my contributions to the forum last week as I am so pants at IT(hence my profile being so miminal),but I had been an avid reader of your postings since I started cd on 25th August,and they have really kept me motivated-thank you as I have now lost 3st with 3st2 to goal.
As for the TOTM cravings I completely understand,I never know when my Totm will show up,have been expecting mine for a couple of weeks and feel so tired and snappy-have been v thankful for the sweet ss packs!
So just remember you are an inspiration to yourself and others!