Hi,
Sorry in advance if this seems like a long-winded post. But I am sat here feeling a combination of anger/confusion/sadness.
I spoke to a friend last night who has recently given birth. We discussed the babies and the breast-feeding and all the other stuff that new mum's want to talk about. She then asked me how I was getting on with my "diet" - I was really excited and told how I had lost almost a stone in 2 weeks and how good I felt, energetic and positive. Her reaction, well, her response was:
"Losing weight is easy it's keeping it off thats hard"
I agreed that it was going to be hard to maintain it,but explained the LL management programme and we moved on. She then started talking bout how much she was looking forward to going out and about now that she was no longer pregnant, how she was going to be wearing her skinny jeans and and boots even though she was now bigger than she was pre-pregnancy. I went along with her, and agreed that she should... and then she said the following:
"I don't care if I am fat now, I won't be one of those insecure fat women hiding herself away and putting her life on hold just until I get thin - you can be fashionable and sexy at any size - you either have it or you don't"
Its the way she said it, putting emphasis on certain words in certain places, it made me feel very uncomfortable as if she was kinda having a dig.
Ever since I have known this friend I have been big, substantially bigger than her (a size 16/18 to her 8/10). This coupled with shyness aswell as a fear of have the mick taken out of me has kinda made me the reserved or quiet one in our friendship. She was the life and soul of the party, the one all the guys approached, the one that got all the attention. Since finding out she was pregnant she has gone from a size 8/10 to a size 20/22 (twins) and the digs started.
At first it was about how me and her would finally be able to go clothes shopping together - even though at my largest I was 16/18 and very much NOT pregnant, then it was
"oh would you like some of my maternity clothes I won't have much need for them after the babies are born - plus you'll never be able to tell they were maternity clothes - they are just like fat lady clothes"
and the absolute classic,
"I hate being this fat, I don't know how anyone would willingly let themselves get this big without doing something about it - I can't at the moment cos I am pregnant - but wait til the babies come".
I took all of the little snidey comments because she was pregnant and I put it down to hormones.
Now, ever since she had the babies and I've been on LL, the little comments and digs have continued. It makes me so mad, even though admittedly I am a little insecure it doesn't mean I am stupid, it doesn't mean I can't genuinely tell when someone is having a go.
Part of me thinks maybe she is jealous but then I look at her life and all that she has, a lovely husband, beautiful new babies, a wonderful home and I can't for the life of me wonder what she would be jealous about. Part of me thinks maybe I am too sensitive - but again, this friend has been nothing but supportive to me in the past, really sensitive to the fact that I was larger than her and how it affected every part of my life, never made a snidey comment or anything of the sort.
I'm not sure what to do, has anyone elses friend's gone weird on them? or started making snidey comments now that the weight is coming off?
I mean, maybe I am being too sensitive and I should just let it go, over the last couple of weeks, the lack of food and time spent preparing and eating it has allowed me to think about things I would never have thought about and as such maybe I am over-thinking...
All help/advice gratefully appreciated.
Ruby.
Sorry in advance if this seems like a long-winded post. But I am sat here feeling a combination of anger/confusion/sadness.
I spoke to a friend last night who has recently given birth. We discussed the babies and the breast-feeding and all the other stuff that new mum's want to talk about. She then asked me how I was getting on with my "diet" - I was really excited and told how I had lost almost a stone in 2 weeks and how good I felt, energetic and positive. Her reaction, well, her response was:
"Losing weight is easy it's keeping it off thats hard"
I agreed that it was going to be hard to maintain it,but explained the LL management programme and we moved on. She then started talking bout how much she was looking forward to going out and about now that she was no longer pregnant, how she was going to be wearing her skinny jeans and and boots even though she was now bigger than she was pre-pregnancy. I went along with her, and agreed that she should... and then she said the following:
"I don't care if I am fat now, I won't be one of those insecure fat women hiding herself away and putting her life on hold just until I get thin - you can be fashionable and sexy at any size - you either have it or you don't"
Its the way she said it, putting emphasis on certain words in certain places, it made me feel very uncomfortable as if she was kinda having a dig.
Ever since I have known this friend I have been big, substantially bigger than her (a size 16/18 to her 8/10). This coupled with shyness aswell as a fear of have the mick taken out of me has kinda made me the reserved or quiet one in our friendship. She was the life and soul of the party, the one all the guys approached, the one that got all the attention. Since finding out she was pregnant she has gone from a size 8/10 to a size 20/22 (twins) and the digs started.
At first it was about how me and her would finally be able to go clothes shopping together - even though at my largest I was 16/18 and very much NOT pregnant, then it was
"oh would you like some of my maternity clothes I won't have much need for them after the babies are born - plus you'll never be able to tell they were maternity clothes - they are just like fat lady clothes"
and the absolute classic,
"I hate being this fat, I don't know how anyone would willingly let themselves get this big without doing something about it - I can't at the moment cos I am pregnant - but wait til the babies come".
I took all of the little snidey comments because she was pregnant and I put it down to hormones.
Now, ever since she had the babies and I've been on LL, the little comments and digs have continued. It makes me so mad, even though admittedly I am a little insecure it doesn't mean I am stupid, it doesn't mean I can't genuinely tell when someone is having a go.
Part of me thinks maybe she is jealous but then I look at her life and all that she has, a lovely husband, beautiful new babies, a wonderful home and I can't for the life of me wonder what she would be jealous about. Part of me thinks maybe I am too sensitive - but again, this friend has been nothing but supportive to me in the past, really sensitive to the fact that I was larger than her and how it affected every part of my life, never made a snidey comment or anything of the sort.
I'm not sure what to do, has anyone elses friend's gone weird on them? or started making snidey comments now that the weight is coming off?
I mean, maybe I am being too sensitive and I should just let it go, over the last couple of weeks, the lack of food and time spent preparing and eating it has allowed me to think about things I would never have thought about and as such maybe I am over-thinking...
All help/advice gratefully appreciated.
Ruby.