Friends...talking about your weight...

[Coley]

ok...so this is a little bit from my blog, just wanted to see if anyone else has had the same sort of experience.....

That reminds me of something I wanted to gibber on about. I look at other people and comment in my head about their weight. I know it's not nice, but it's a visual thing and I can't help it. I think most people do but try not to judge people for it. I do that too.

When you're dieting, and people know it. Why do they suddenly think it's ok to comment on your weight? Ask you how much weight you've lost? Or feel the need to scrutinise what you're eating and say things like "ooogh...you're not eating enough". Emmmmm...excuse me? Firstly, I did not "lose" any weight. I know exactly where I put it. It was not an accident. Also, I don't recall asking for anyones opinion on anything. I am happy to sit here and pretend that I always looked this slim - it's just the scales are changing numbers for fun.

I don't particularly want everyone to know how much weight I've painstakingly removed from my body. I don't want them going on about how it's too fast or nosing into what I do or don't eat. That's MY business and I'd tell you if I wanted you to know but I don't, so sod off! I don't know any dieticians but you'd think I did considering all the advice I'm given on what I should and shouldn't eat and what everyone sees as a "healthy" diet.

I am just completely bemused how suddenly now I'm working to get rid of my weight that it is somehow fair game to talk about it? No one did this when I was eating myself to the size of a small house???!

 

[ForeverDelayed]

It will be a combination of people pleased for you and some that are jealous.

Some people want you to remain the way you were, because it was comfortable for them.

For those that ask "How much?", just say that you aren't weighing yourself and are just judging by your clothes and how much better you feel.

 

[Coley]

Yeah...I get why they are doing it....just a bit unsure why they think it's OK?

No one commented on how much I was eating or how I'm getting larger! Why should it be different now?

It's definately not ok to tell someone when they're getting bigger...but somehow it's ok to talk about people getting smaller????

 

[Caroline83]

I have to say I get a little annoyed by having to justify CD to people when they give you the whole "it's not safe" speech. But I love it when people ask how much I have lost (until I have a bad week then I will probably be less impressed)

 

[ForeverDelayed]

When I did LL before, I had loads of people at my work, after it became really noticeable about mid-way through month 2, saying

"doesn't sound safe to me"

"you must be tired all the time"

"you don't want to lose to much"

My reply was always, "Well the doctor ok's it, I haven't felt this good in years, and I'll decide how much I want to lose thanks".

Some people are genuinely concerned, some are bitter and twisted!!

 

[mrsessex]

Funny enough you should start this thread

I had my first 'oh dont lose too much more' today from a well meaning friend & neighbour

I have another 3 stone to go for gods sake!! are they blind

Ive not encountered too much negative comments being honest so far but its human nature to enquire & scrutinise

 

[charlotte_k]

Spoke to my nan today and she asked what weight I want to get to. When I told her at least 10 stone (will change it when I get closer to goal) she said that it was too low and that I should remember " that I have HEAVY BONES like her"!!!!!!!!! I told her that I have really small arms and hips and that I have a small frame (now you can see it!!lol). I mean I love my nan but wtf!!!! Heavy bones!! People really will tell themselves anything to make them feel better!! x x

 

[princessjonsey]

My family have been giving me a hard time have been on the diet for a month and lost nearly 2 stone but they are like when are you gonna eat properly again, have told them not to worry etc I'm good and really happy with these results. grrrrr x x

 

[sumayyah]

lol i had my first one today, telling me its dangerous and im going to starve to death soon, for fricks sake im still 12 stone overweight!

 

[princessjonsey]

its like they have read a couple of negative stories in papers and now think they are dieticians x

 

[Coley]

regardless of diet though...see..my people don't know what diet I'm doing. As far as they are aware...I eat..."normally"......and I STILL get this chat about my weight.

It's MINE! It wasn't their business when I was putting on weight...suddenly they're all in my face giving advice!

 

[Witchypoo]

I heard something on Loose Women today that really struck a cord.
When a female friend says 'You dont need to loose any more weight', that's when you have about 3 more stones to go!:8855:
And it's true. My work friends are being very supportive but I'm starting to get comments like 'You can't have much more to lose'.
Not not much, just another 3+ stones.

 

[Porgeous]

I think alot of people find it fascinating, they are watching you shrink before their very eyes and pretty quickly. I know alot of people talked to me about my weight merely so they could ask questions about VLCDs. I found it really funny to watch people's reactions, initially sceptical but they couldn't dispute what they were seeing which was someone who was not only losing weight but looking healthier and full of energy. Kind of pulled the rug from under them with the assumptions that it couldn't be good for me and I must be exhausted.....

Pay them no mind hun xx

 

[MissPinky]

I'm usually amused and laid back about this, accepting that I'm a curiosity. But sometimes, just sometimes, it irks me - and if one more person says to me 'So are you back on solids then..?' I am in grave danger of punching them!!! I'm getting sick of it now, that and the 'Don't lose any more - you're fine as you are' comment. Have you asked me whether I've stopped, or just assumed that diets are unending and eventually I'll just disapper or slip through a crack in the floor, and be ignorant to myself doing so?!

I've considered a T-shirt for in the office with 'My weight is stabilising now and yes, I am back on solids - not that I was ever off them thanks for assuming'. And two fingers on the back...

And then I get calm again and am merely amused at the antics of others. I think it's how they cope with change and the self-conscious realisation that they've lost the comfort blanket whereby someone else is bumpier than them.

 

[bmthsue]

I've considered a T-shirt for in the office with 'My weight is stabilising now and yes, I am back on solids - not that I was ever off them thanks for assuming'. And two fingers on the back...

MissPinky - I want a t-shirt like that too!!!

 

[KD]

I am just completely bemused how suddenly now I'm working to get rid of my weight that it is somehow fair game to talk about it? No one did this when I was eating myself to the size of a small house???!

Because putting on weight is considered 'shameful', embarrassing, something never spoken about. Only your very nearest and dearest would tell you that and even then with much trepidation.

On the other hand, in our culture, losing weight is considered positive and so can be discussed, even in a negative fashion.

Even if you tell someone something negative about their smaller figure....as long as you include something about the fact that they've lost weight or they are slim, you're safe, because for most people losing weight is the thing to be aimed for, the thing to be proud of, so it softens the blow so to speak.

 

[lunar jim]

Spoke to my nan today and she asked what weight I want to get to. When I told her at least 10 stone (will change it when I get closer to goal) she said that it was too low and that I should remember " that I have HEAVY BONES like her"!!!!!!!!! I told her that I have really small arms and hips and that I have a small frame (now you can see it!!lol). I mean I love my nan but wtf!!!! Heavy bones!! People really will tell themselves anything to make them feel better!! x x

Heh you have to make a few allowances when talking to old people I reckon

 

[Guru]

I don't mind people asking about my weight loss, or CD for that matter. Am I odd? Mostly people have been very supportive though and when I say my doctor recommended it there's not much they can say to that! But not many people have noticed yet. Maybe if it becomes a more regular occurance I will find it irritating.

 

[sumayyah]

regardless of diet though...see..my people don't know what diet I'm doing. As far as they are aware...I eat..."normally"......and I STILL get this chat about my weight.

It's MINE! It wasn't their business when I was putting on weight...suddenly they're all in my face giving advice!

sorry that made me laugh, how can they tell you what you should be eating when they have no idea of what diet your on and what you eat, very puzzling indeed

 

[LizzMB]

people dont like pointing out that someone is putting on the weight....becuase its rude....where as commenting on someone losing weight is a good thing i think.
If they start asking how much i weigh etc, i'm happy enough to tell them becuase i'm more comfortable with where i am now, and where i was before....!

No one has a right to say anything about your weight hun, and if it makes you uncomfortable, then politely tell thank them for their interest but you'd rather not discuss it. Sorted!

x