From Tooty Frooty to Hottie Tottie!

way to go on your loss chick, 2lb is great :) x
 
Morning all :wavey:

I am sooooo tired this morning. I went to bed about half ten lastnight and my little man decided to wake up crying at 1.30am and I didn't get him back to sleep till after 3am. :( Then he was up at his usual 5am again. :cry: Mr Tooty is off work though so I gave him a nudge and got him to give him his milk then I stayed in bed till 7am.

I've got a day planned with my sister today. We're going bowling then will go somewhere for lunch. I'll probably have a baked potato with beans and cheese while they all have something unhealthy! :rolleyes:

Going to take some alpen lights with me incase I feel like a snack and will take some fruit too.

Off to get my boys ready. I soooo wish I liked coffee. I really feel like I could do with a burst of energy this morning.
 
Have a nice day out :)
 
Today has not gone well at all food wise, with all my plans of being good and staying on plan out the window at the first sign of hunger pangs.

Here goes.....we went to tgi's! I had sesame chicken strips to start, then Jack Daniels ribs with chips and onion rings. :cry:

Then at around 6pm I had a caramel sundae from McDonalds while the kids were eating their dinner :cry: :cry:

I'm so disappointed in myself and I could feel my resolve to be good fading fast as the morning went on. I ate my alpen lights and fruit as soon as we got to the bowling as I was so hungry and once that was finished, I was still hungry. :(

I do however want to write down how I've been feeling today, so that I can look back and see what it was/is that triggers the bad eating habits.

Firstly, I'm exhausted. Mentally and physically. Both with getting up every single night for the last 11 months with my little one, and then also having a very boisterous toddler to run around after day in, day out.

Secondly, I'm stressed out about going back to work. I can't stop thinking about it and feel sick thinking that it's just 4 days away. :( I really dislike my job, well it's not so much the job as some of the people I work with and the thought of going back there, and even worse, being this weight just makes me want to run away and hide. :cry:

Thirdly, spending time with my sister...however enjoyable, always makes me want to eat. I don't know why as she is as skinny as a rake, and I just feel miserable standing next to her, so I eat! :confused:

Fourthly, I just feel so down right now. Probably got something to do with points 1 and 2, but I just can't shake it off and it just makes me want to eat. It's a vicious circle. :cry:

I'm not trying to make excuses, as there is no excuse for my terrible eating habits today, and I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to bring it back tomorrow and be good. I just feel miserable. :cry:

Sorry for the miserable post. I just had to get it all down.
 
RIght Mrs Tooty, you can do this, right? Okay you've struggled for a couple of days but you can still turn it around. This is long term sweetie. It won't fall off overnight. I am a comfort eater too, I am sure alot of us are. Or we'd all be scrawny like your sister.

I'll hold your hand and we get back on that wagon together tomorrow. You do want to do this , otherwise this time next year you will be my size .... ;)

Okay its going to be an uphill struggle sometimes but we can get through it together okay?

You have a lot going on sweetie so don't be too hard on yourself. You never know once you get back to work you may feel better about it all, if not then deal with it at that point sweetie.

I am waffling and don't really know what to say other than here for you and we will do this together no matter how long it takes (((hugs))) xxxxx
 
Thank you Jackie,

I WANT to do this. I really really do. It is the right time for me. I know that people often say that you should get your head in the right frame of mind first before tackling weight issues. My head IS in the right place, and I need to lose this weight.

I think one of the things i've realised since writing my last post is that this time is slightly different to the past in that I don't want to continue eating the junk even tonight. Normally after a bad day, I'd have a bad night and would've stopped off to get a huge bar of chocolate, but I didn't tonight. A small step in the right direction perhaps, but for me it's a big change to what i'd normally have done.

I'm going to try to have very few syns for the rest of the week, I am going to get back into this tomorrow...I just have to!

Thank you for your encouragement. It means a lot.

Oh, and are you all packed yet? :)
 
Maybe its something in the air as the last few days I've been feeling rubbish as well and its been so hard not to over eat. Usually going running sorts me out but not these last 2 days. Not sure why but hopefully I'll be on the up again soon.
Good luck with going back to work. I'm off to uni in September and having given in my resignation, got my uniform fitting invite and accommodation offer in the last 2 days its suddenly becoming scarily real!

I know it is really hard to get back on the wagon but when you wake up tomorrow tell yourself you are going to be 100% for ONE day. Just that day. The smaller the chunks the easier it is.
 
Don't be too harsh on your syns or you are setting yourself up for failure. Its all about setting ourselves out to succeed sweetie. So have a few if you need them okay?

I've struggled since being ill but still determined to do this where as normally I'd have given in and pretended I was happy being fat :( But I am not anymore than you are. So we will do it this time. Yep there will be blips but as you've proved tonight, its just that mate , a blip, you could have continued it but you didnt so slowly you are changing bad habits into good ones. Lets just hope the more we lose the easier it is. But if not we are here to help each other.

No beating yourself up about this, its done its dusted its over. Tomorrow is a new day. I struggle more when I don't plan, this week I've not planned meals and struggled. Its also hard when we go out etc.

Take care and chin up xxxxx
 
Don't feel bad. You've been good all week. Before SW you would have eaten like today every day.

You've got it hard with two little ones. I know you won't believe this when you're stuck in the middle of it but cherish every minute with them as it really does go quick. Nap whenever you can - the cleaning can wait.

It is scary going back to work after having time off but you'll feel like you've never been away after 10 minutes. Although you're worried about your size other people won't be. They're all too worried about their own body hang ups.

You're doing really well so stop being so hard on yourself :)
 
Thanks Cherry,

It's good to know i'm not alone. I will definitely do as you suggest. Try to be 100% for just one day and take it from there. Honestly, I felt so so good all last week sticking to the plan and I don't want to let myself down by going back to my old ways so soon.

Jackie, I will try not to beat myself up about it. I have sent Mr Tooty out for some eggs and mushrooms so that I can have a nice breakfast in the morning and we're going to spend tomorrow getting our house in order as our eldest is spending the day with his granny so hopefully keeping busy will help me.

So, I think i'll write down tomorrows meal plan just now so I know what i'm having.

Breakfast: 2 eggs, mushroom, beans, bacon (B)

Lunch: Batchelors Pasta n Sauce (1/2 syn) Parmesan cheese (A)

Dinner: Either Salmon fillet with Tilda rice and green beans or chicken in a bag with potatoes and veg.

Hopefully this will make me stick to my plan and not veer off track. :break_diet:
 
Well done. Proud of you. Tilly's very right, some good words of wisdom there sweetie. Treasure them, the dust will still be there tomorrow and they will be grown up. My house is proof of that. The dust is most definately here, the fairies did not come in and do it for me but my kids are growing up so fast. Honest it doesn't seem five mins since they were little like yours now they are 18, 14 and 7 :eek: it goes so quickly. You will be cursing them laying in until lunchtime before you know it :D xxxx
 
Thanks Tilly,

You are absolutely right. The day before I started being good again, I had McDonalds for brekkie, a chinese buffet for lunch and a dominoes pizza for dinner!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: Of course, not every day was like that, but that's how much food I can eat!!! (Not something i'm proud of at all!) :(

I hate to say this but I feel that I wish everyday that my boys were older and more manageable. I find being a mother so challenging and feel like I am failing them by not giving them the attention or love they deserve. Which in turn makes the pnd even worse.

Oh, what a bundle of joy I am tonight eh!! :rolleyes: I'm going to go to bed for an early night. Jackie, I bought that book today that you recommended to someone about facing your fears, so I'm going to read a few pages then try and get a few hours sleep.

Oh, and all the screaming from Roo lastnight wasn't for nothing. His second tooth has cut through. :)

Sorry I've not popped in on anyone else's diary tonight. I promise to do it tomorrow. Don't want to bring my dark cloud onto anyone else's threads.

Night all xx
 
JackieN said:
Well done. Proud of you. Tilly's very right, some good words of wisdom there sweetie. Treasure them, the dust will still be there tomorrow and they will be grown up. My house is proof of that. The dust is most definately here, the fairies did not come in and do it for me but my kids are growing up so fast. Honest it doesn't seem five mins since they were little like yours now they are 18, 14 and 7 :eek: it goes so quickly. You will be cursing them laying in until lunchtime before you know it :D xxxx
Click to expand...

Oh no Jackie, when my boys are moody, grown up teenage boys, I am going to be an old lady who gets up at the crack of dawn and by god will I get my own back on them!!! :8855:
 
That book is well well worth the read. I am going to start reading it again too :D I only read the first section and felt 'i am going to do this' good on you for buying it :)

I think we have all gone through phases of wishing our children grown up, then when they are grown up we wish they were younger again :8855: thats the thing with parenting there is no manual all we can do is trundle along the road in the direction we feel is right. It will all work out sweetie and we are all here to help you if we can. You do not have to visit peoples diaries all the time, you do not need to comment every day, you do not need to read back, just pop in and say hi when you do have time :) we'll keep an eye on you because we care xxxxx
 
Tooty Frooty said:
Oh no Jackie, when my boys are moody, grown up teenage boys, I am going to be an old lady who gets up at the crack of dawn and by god will I get my own back on them!!! :8855:
Click to expand...

:8855: are you calling me an old lady :eek::eek::eek::eek: :8855:
 
Hun you can moan on my diary all you like. Depression is horrid and I think that's been part of my feeling poo the last few days. I'm sure your kids don't feel like you're failing them. You sound like a great mum.
 
Tooty Frooty said:
I hate to say this but I feel that I wish everyday that my boys were older and more manageable. I find being a mother so challenging and feel like I am failing them by not giving them the attention or love they deserve. Which in turn makes the pnd even worse.
Click to expand...

Everyone feels like that. Deep down you know you're a good mum :)

I don't want to make you feel worse but they never become more manageable and even when you are a perfect mum like myself they still tell you your crap :8855:

Each age brings different rewards or problems. I remember someone telling me that it doesn't get better but it doesn't get worse. Jamie was 9 months old at the time and I hadn't slept above 2 hours a night in those 9 months. At the time I decided not to believe them cos I didn't think I'd be able to cope if I thought it wouldn't get better. They were right though. But you get more sleep which makes everything easier.

PND is bad cos you think everyone else is coping and you're not. In reality everyones just muddling along as best they can.
 
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