FuNNy :):):) foods with no calories

LadyJo

Silver Member
found this on a very old thread on mini mins
hope it makes you all smile.... theres definitely some on there I can relate to!!

Let's see how many more we can add to this list!

1.If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2.If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3.Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

4.If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

5.Cookie pieces contain no fat-- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

6.Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

7.Food licked off your fingers doesn't have calories. Example: cake batter , cookie dough, frosting, etc.

8.Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are:
spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

9. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.

10. Foods eaten while watching a major event on television do not count. Major events include: Superbowl, Hockey Finals, Indy 500, Jerry Springer show.

11. Powerbars and other type energy bars make you thinner. In all my years of exercising (at least three times a year) I have only seen thin people eating energy bars. Therefore they must make you thin.

12. Snickers is the same as an energy bar (see #11)

13. Tasting other people's food does not add to your calorie count.

14. Whatever you just ordered at that restaurant is healthy, as long as it has "salad" in its name
 
Love it!!
 
Someone at work came up with one today:

Its her bday and whilst handing me an ice cream "this is a birthday ice cream so it contains no calories!!!"

If only that we're true lol!!!

Hahaha not long till my holidays so ill be using this one!
 
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