DisneyParis
An Attitude of Gratitude
Gg, hope you have a great time in Sweden. 
Gg
- Thread starter Goreygirl
- Start date
sumayyah
please try again
Have a fantastic time. Can't wait to hear all about it!!
LovelyLauren
My husband = My hero
Enjoy Sweden!
Have a wonderful time and revel in your families comments!! X
Have a wonderful time and revel in your families comments!! X
jillcambridge
Full Member
Goreygirl - we miss you on here - hope you're okay - we're here when you need us (((hugs)))
Xxx
Xxx
Goreygirl
Gold Member
Hi all
I'm back! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I was away until middle of last week and since I came back I guess I've been quietly processing the preceding few weeks (my visit to my brother, xmas with my sister, reconnecting with 2 of my best friends in the UK as I spent 5 days with each of them). I felt I needed some time out to work it all through in my head and then I realised I was using this as an excuse not to get back to reality! Lol...
So I started back on CD yesterday (I pretty much ran out of packs over xmas and couldn't get to my CDC before I went to UK) and met my CDC today to find that despite some over eating and the lack of activity I was still 2lbs down over all Woohoo! I was so pleased. But I also have realised something else....
p { margin-bottom: 0.21cm; }
Hello I am Gg and am a procrastinator!
For as long as I can remember I have procrastinated. I have joked about “why do today what you can put off until tomorrow”. For birthday 20 years ago I was given a “Book of Excuses” by a friend; I see now they were trying to make a point.
Why do I procrastinate? Why do I not follow through on the promises I make to myself . I've been struggling to restart CD for over a week now (started yesterday) and still haven't gone back to my exercise routine. I bought the infamous “30 Day Shred” and it's staring at me from beside the DVD player.
So i've been doing a bit of reading and a bit of talking to my therapist about this ....as it is a behaviour I want to change. But to change I have to understand the psychology and what beliefs are driving my behaviour.
Those of us who are impulsive start out with the best of intentions and aim to get started right away however we then fail to follow through on our self-promise. Subconsciously we value today more than tomorrow so that we don't feel motivated and deadlines don't feel real. I've always been a “last minute” kind of girl... and up until a few years ago managed to get things done (work deadlines, getting to friends on time, managing my weight etc) and hence did not feel the negative consequences of procrastinating and therefore did not really value the need to change. “Getting away with it” re-enforced the behaviour reproducing it over and over ... and so the cycle continued.
Procrastination commonly involves feelings such as guilt, inadequacy, self-disgust, stress and depression – often this effect is unacknowledged by us... it feels uncomfortable to us so we bury it down ...we avoid having that honest conversation with ourselves.
But now I do feel the negatives of this behaviour and over recent months I have become to acknowledge how my life would work better and more importantly I would feel better if I took action rather than procrastinated. I've begun to value being organised, not living in chaos. I'm beginning to consider consequences as part of my decision making. Not that I am saying I cracked it at all... but I am finding that feeling and acknowledging the positive effects of taking action is beginning to re-enforce and reproduce that behaviour more and more frequently.!
Where do these values/beliefs come from? Like anything they can take years to build up .. at some stage in the past we valued one thing over another and got a “positive feeling”.... or maybe a parent indicated to you that what you wanted to do wasn't of value so you learned to suppress it for other's values.
So how do we stop?
Acknowledge you are procrastinating. Acknowledge it is something you have control over; that it is a learnt behaviour that can be unlearnt. Acknowledge that it is about impulse control.
Work out why? What is the real reason you are procrastinating? What is the gain?
How to help “do”
Just some thoughts.......
I'm back! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I was away until middle of last week and since I came back I guess I've been quietly processing the preceding few weeks (my visit to my brother, xmas with my sister, reconnecting with 2 of my best friends in the UK as I spent 5 days with each of them). I felt I needed some time out to work it all through in my head and then I realised I was using this as an excuse not to get back to reality! Lol...
So I started back on CD yesterday (I pretty much ran out of packs over xmas and couldn't get to my CDC before I went to UK) and met my CDC today to find that despite some over eating and the lack of activity I was still 2lbs down over all
Woohoo! I was so pleased. But I also have realised something else....p { margin-bottom: 0.21cm; }
Hello I am Gg and am a procrastinator!
For as long as I can remember I have procrastinated. I have joked about “why do today what you can put off until tomorrow”. For birthday 20 years ago I was given a “Book of Excuses” by a friend; I see now they were trying to make a point.
Why do I procrastinate? Why do I not follow through on the promises I make to myself . I've been struggling to restart CD for over a week now (started yesterday) and still haven't gone back to my exercise routine. I bought the infamous “30 Day Shred” and it's staring at me from beside the DVD player.
So i've been doing a bit of reading and a bit of talking to my therapist about this ....as it is a behaviour I want to change. But to change I have to understand the psychology and what beliefs are driving my behaviour.
Those of us who are impulsive start out with the best of intentions and aim to get started right away however we then fail to follow through on our self-promise. Subconsciously we value today more than tomorrow so that we don't feel motivated and deadlines don't feel real. I've always been a “last minute” kind of girl... and up until a few years ago managed to get things done (work deadlines, getting to friends on time, managing my weight etc) and hence did not feel the negative consequences of procrastinating and therefore did not really value the need to change. “Getting away with it” re-enforced the behaviour reproducing it over and over ... and so the cycle continued.
Procrastination commonly involves feelings such as guilt, inadequacy, self-disgust, stress and depression – often this effect is unacknowledged by us... it feels uncomfortable to us so we bury it down ...we avoid having that honest conversation with ourselves.
But now I do feel the negatives of this behaviour and over recent months I have become to acknowledge how my life would work better and more importantly I would feel better if I took action rather than procrastinated. I've begun to value being organised, not living in chaos. I'm beginning to consider consequences as part of my decision making. Not that I am saying I cracked it at all... but I am finding that feeling and acknowledging the positive effects of taking action is beginning to re-enforce and reproduce that behaviour more and more frequently.!
Where do these values/beliefs come from? Like anything they can take years to build up .. at some stage in the past we valued one thing over another and got a “positive feeling”.... or maybe a parent indicated to you that what you wanted to do wasn't of value so you learned to suppress it for other's values.
So how do we stop?
Acknowledge you are procrastinating. Acknowledge it is something you have control over; that it is a learnt behaviour that can be unlearnt. Acknowledge that it is about impulse control.
Work out why? What is the real reason you are procrastinating? What is the gain?
- belief that distant/future reward is less worthy than immediate reward (even if future reward will have better overall result/positive effect) e.g., “one more won't hurt”?
- the task feels overwhelming?
- The task is not believed to be pleasurable?
- perfectionism – if you can't do it perfectly why do it all? This links into setting unrealistic goals/standards
- poor self esteem – belief that you are not worthy/lack of belief in your ability to focus etc?
- unrealistic goals/gradiosity (plans too big/ unrealistic so setting yourself up for failure)?
- fear of success and its possible consequences?
- poor time management, often associated with a distorted sense of the time available
- negative feelings - e.g. "I'm stupid", "nothing ever goes right for me"
- all-or-nothing thinking, where one setback is seen as a total catastrophe
- being bored by the task
- never having learned how to work or sort out problems while at school or living at home
- avoidance of things which are disliked or difficult.
How to help “do”
- Consciously work through the decision making process. What are the pros and cons of the different options available in both the short term and long term. How do they fit in with your over goals. Being faced with unpleasant consequences can be a great motivator and help you choose long term gratification over instant gratification.
- Boost your motivation. Dwell on your strengths, on tasks you have accomplished and feel good about, in order to remind yourself that you can be successful.
- Next time you catch yourself saying, "I can do this later/will start tomorrow", think Nike. Just do it! Push on through the feelings and do it now. The feeling you get when you finish will be so much better than any relief you get from putting it off. . this will set up a positive re-enforcement which will help break the procrastination habit
- Schedule reward time... tell yourself you will do X now and then enjoy Y afterwards. Knowing that you have accomplished your goal/task will also make it easier to relax and enjoy your reward (whether that's a TV programme, a bath, 10 minutes with a magazine).
- Change your language.. try to avoid “should/must/have to” and focus on “choose to”
- Try the “10 minute rule” ...Just decide in your mind that you will do a task for 10 minutes, no matter what. Whether you face distractions, whether you are not in a mood to do it etc. - let there be any reason. Just start out and do it for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes are up, you have the option of either stopping if you feel like it....or continuing to do it. In the majority of situations you will continue and then have the positive sense of accomplishment.
Just some thoughts.......
great things
Gold Member
nice to have you back. i've been watching BL US and love bob. have taken on his words of wisdom and am using them. so my new diary heading is similar to what you're saying above.
Stand up and finish what you started! - Bob
it is basically saying stop messing about, procrastinating, putting things off and put in the effort and get on with it. only you can do it. only you can make the effort and get where you are going in life. i love Bob, he is so right.
Goreygirl
Gold Member
nice to have you back. i've been watching BL US and love bob. have taken on his words of wisdom and am using them. so my new diary heading is similar to what you're saying above.
Stand up and finish what you started! - Bob
it is basically saying stop messing about, procrastinating, putting things off and put in the effort and get on with it. only you can do it. only you can make the effort and get where you are going in life. i love Bob, he is so right.
Bob is fantastic! I love the way neither him nor Gillian allow the contestants to kid themselves with excuses of any sort. If they haven't lost weight it's because they broke from the plan .. simple as.
I'm really learning and beginning to believe in how much we can shape our actions with our words... even if we have to fake it until we make it as they say.
LovelyLauren
My husband = My hero
Welcome back sweet!
Well done on your loss!!
Here's to a new non procrastinating you!! X
Well done on your loss!!
Here's to a new non procrastinating you!! X
Goreygirl
Gold Member
So day 3 of CD part 2 and i've had water all morning. I've hoovered the car, sorted the kitchen and done the laundry and am not just chilling with some water and Desperate Housewives.
I'm still feeling positive about CD and am so glad I didn't give into the voice in my head yesterday telling me that one last blow out before I started properly wouldn't hurt. My focus over the next couple of months is to start getting out more in the evenings during the week in a way that will help me meet people so that I can address the loneliness that makes me give into eating. I'm starting Zumba on Monday and a ladies football team on Wednesday and the good thing is that I am not scared of going there. I used to feel so down on myself that I used to break my self promises about doing stuff like this. In truth I think I was trying to avoid how doing this stuff would be a bit of a dose of reality ... reality that I was unfit and big. I would have to face up to myself and I wasn't ready for that then.. but I have forgiven myself for that and I am in a better place to put myself out there now.
I'm still feeling positive about CD and am so glad I didn't give into the voice in my head yesterday telling me that one last blow out before I started properly wouldn't hurt. My focus over the next couple of months is to start getting out more in the evenings during the week in a way that will help me meet people so that I can address the loneliness that makes me give into eating. I'm starting Zumba on Monday and a ladies football team on Wednesday and the good thing is that I am not scared of going there. I used to feel so down on myself that I used to break my self promises about doing stuff like this. In truth I think I was trying to avoid how doing this stuff would be a bit of a dose of reality ... reality that I was unfit and big. I would have to face up to myself and I wasn't ready for that then.. but I have forgiven myself for that and I am in a better place to put myself out there now.
