Hey all I'm not very good at keeping journals but I keep being told it's a good idea so here goes.... I want to try to be as honest as possible about the behaviours behind my weight gain and what I discover as I progress with this journey. I'm a food addict (with addiction tendencies in other areas of my life ...which I am still exploring) and am roughly following the 12 step recovery programe (Twelve-step program - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia). I've been very lucky with my CDC as she is a qualified addictions counsellor. I'm also in psychotherapy (weekly) and have been for 6 months now to address a gradually increasing depression over the last 5 years. I've come a long way but it's like layers of an onion and the stuff I talk about now is completely different than that of 6 months ago. At this stage I am nearly at the end of week 5 of the CD journey. I've had 2 major blips of binging.... the last one was Fri/Sat just gone where it's almost like I just refused to think about CD and focused instead on ringing for pizza. Although I ate it all I was aware of how I was "buzzing" as I made the call, and how agitated I was waiting for it. I don't really remember the eating of it ... just that I stuffed it down. I'm still struggling with this label "addict"; I mean we all have a picture in our head when we say the word "addict" but I'm beginning to accept it now as I "tick" all the major addiction behaviours when it comes to sugar/carb and caffeine addiction (caffeine for me in the form of chocolate). So it's day by day......and trying to remember "there's no such thing as 'just one'" for me.