Good Afternoon Everyone

Discussion in 'Exante' started by markanderl, 21 July 2010 Social URL.

  1. markanderl

    markanderl Silver Member

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    This morning I put in a goodbye thread and it was removed by the administrators as apparently they do not accept goodbye threads and for the life of me I do not know why, I would have thought it common courtesy instead of just leaving.
    They asked me why I was leaving as I was doing so well, was liked, very supportive, etc, etc. Before they removed it I saw some of you had also asked why and before I could reply the post was removed.
    Before I start I have to say that this forum has been a lifeline for me as it is a very hard diet to do on your own. Yes my wife is there and she has been supportive but for a long period she was not doing the diet so it was a godsend to share with people who were also doing the diet. You are all very special in your own right and I have become very fond of all of you. Everything is black and white with me, in my job and in my home life, I am very straight forward and normally say it as it is, often getting me into trouble but at least people know where they stand with me at all times which most people dislike and I therefore have very few friends, those I have are cherished dearly and I am extremely loyal to them.
    The reason why I put the goodbye thread on this morning
    I replied to a post this morning and wrote how disappointed I was in that person, posted it, then went back and deleted it for fear of hurting that person or making that person angry, that is just not me. Once I had done that I decided to withdraw from the forum as I was becoming someone I was not enjoying.
    If people cheat time and time again they need to be told it is not alright but we all say nice things to keep that person motivated and happy but sometimes the truth just needs to be told.
    If I am to stay I will be honest to myself and will be saying it like I see it whether it is liked or not.
    Someone posted that this is not a race or even a competiton but it is life we are playing with, man, the pink ladies and team blue thing was a bit of fun and many have commented on this in jest so lighten up and if you want to comment like that then direct the comment to me without the little childish red faces etc.
     
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  3. babystar31

    babystar31 Gold Member

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    Well said Mark. altho somtimes i think you can b a bit harsh id rather hear your comments and take them on the chin....than b told its ok to cheat. We are all human of course (read my new post) and we may cheat from time to time but it does no harm to have peoples views on it. We can either choose to take it in the friendly way it was meant or hold a grudge...but you can only be yourself, and i fr one, love the person you are.

    And i noticed you had commented on my facebook and deleted it..may be unrelated...but if you feel you want to say something to me....or anyone, dont worry about hurting feelings....cos i can only speak for myself, but im a big girl and i can take it the way it was meant :)xxx
     
  4. markanderl

    markanderl Silver Member

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    Thanks Mandy, the only one to reply. With regards to facebook, not sure what happened but thanks again. I to like people to be honest with me and if I deserve a talking to them talk to me but never ever pussy foot around the truth or sugar coat the things that need to be said.
     
  5. babystar31

    babystar31 Gold Member

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    Its ok.....i would have hated for you to leave the forum over somthing so silly. We are all different, and i personally would like the truth to be told to me. Not everyone can take harsh comments in the positive way they are intended, and they are equally entitled to be that way.

    As long as we all get on well, and dont let silyl things ruin our little exante family we will b fine :)

    xxx
     
  6. rose1987

    rose1987 reaching my goal

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    We are all fat because people have tryed to be nice and not truthful because if they had of been honest maybe we would have done something about it sooner . I for one think you are honest and i wouldnt want you any other way. If people are cheating over and over then yes something needs to be said to make them think after all we are on this forum for support . Dont leave i need you !!
     
  7. calligas

    calligas is slowly shrinking

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    we all need u
    your the
    DADDY
    (NO PRESSURE LOL)

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
     
  8. markanderl

    markanderl Silver Member

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    You are all very kind thank you, I really appreciate it, means a lot.
     
  9. calligas

    calligas is slowly shrinking

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    i should think so too, u just don;t realise how much u mean to people until something happens, hope u realise now how much yr needed, well for me anyway x
    and i hope u know if u did leave us there will be an empty space (who else can we give stick to) lol.
    welcome back daddy mark x
     
  10. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    Glad youre back Mark, and for the record, when I start Exante you have my full permission to say exactly what youre thinking to me ;)
     
  11. Dietkitty

    Dietkitty Rebel without a calorie

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    As you're such an advocate for honesty I'm not going to be as kind!
    I happen to agree that this is not a race or a competition and have certainly never treated it as one. This IS our lives and we're doing the most important thing for that life, and if you need to adjust the diet to suit you then so be it.
    However I also agree with you that constant cheating is not the way to go and sometimes a good telling off is what someone needs. BUT - we come here for support and on those days when things have gone badly then the support from others is exactly what you need. What's the alternative? To not admit to your failings here and not get those kind words to help you back on the right path?
    OK I'm climbing down from my soap box now! I for one am pleased that you have been able to be honest here and as others have said WE NEED YOU! Your support has been wonderful, long may it continue :) xx
     
  12. markanderl

    markanderl Silver Member

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    Hey I agree fully that this is not a race or a competition and the team blue and pink ladies thing was inititiated, i think anyway, to try and tempt people away from cheating, not a race or a competition. If some think we are trying to turn this into a race why then are we putting up our losses on one thread as a challenge, and a challenge is a form of competition however you look at it. Now if you choose to join then you choose to be part of that challenge, no one forces anyone to join or to compete. For me it gives me an incentive not to cheat and to not let anyone down and that is how I deal with the diet. I kept saying pink ladies 1 team blue 0 or whatever just to try and get some to think before they cheated but I know that we are not all the same and some will falter. When Lisa did I mention that at any stage that we should not alter the diet to suit or that this was a race. This was an idea put in a post in repsonse to my saying dear oh dear dear the pink ladies have given up, how the altering of a diet to suit was construde out of that I will never know. The very fact that we wanted a bit of fun here has been turned into a fiasco is a joke as it was never meant to hurt anyone and no where has there ever been any nastiness.

    With regards to the honesty, yes we need the support but we also need each to say to each that what we have done is not good but we sugar things.

    Anyway, enjoy your day ahead.
     
    Last edited: 22 July 2010
  13. Yambabe

    Yambabe Bad Girl

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    The challenge (for me anyway) is a personal thing. :) I put my losses on there for 2 reasons:

    1) cos I'm not in competition with anyone else but I AM doing this for myself and setting myself targets and boundaries which I want to achieve and

    2) cos if you do a bit of CBT at any time you will find that we all like to be "stroked" when we are doing something difficult. Having someone else tell you how well you are doing and/or congratulating can be a real boost to your ego, confidence and willpower sometimes.

    I think the team pink/blue thing has been great fun, as long as it's stayed lighthearted (which it mostly has) but you all need to remember that not everyone has the same reasons for losing weight and not everyone is mentally strong or emotionally stable, particularly about weightloss. What can seem to be a throwaway remark to one person can be taken to heart by another and cause all sorts of problems. It's a risk you take joining a forum in the first place - if you are a sensitive little flower then maybe they are not the best place for you.

    I too will always be honest with you all. Got myself in trouble over it a few times on here already too, :eek: my custom title of "Bad Girl" wasn't chosen by accident y'know! ;)

    It's often hard to gauge someone's mood just by reading a written page, and so so easy to hurt someone's feelings by taking something they have posted the wrong way. The odd :) here and there can help with this.

    But at the end of the day if you feel strongly enough about something and are prepared to stand up for your principles and beliefs then even if I don't agree with what you are saying you will always find me at your back defending your right to say it.

    When I started this I came here for support and advice cos I'd never done anything like this before. It was a last resort option for me and I'm pleased to be able to say that so far it is paying off. The stage I'm at now I need less support but am in a position to give more advice myself and that's what I will continue to do. Sometimes I'll be harsh with some of you, cos I think you need it!

    So Mark, yesterday I don't know what your problem was but I think you were being a bit of a drama queen. If the forum is bugging you for whatever reason then step away. Take some time out, a few hours, a few days, a few weeks. Do what you need to do. No need to come on here announcing that you are leaving though - the only time I ever see that on forums (and I go on quite a few) is when someone is just desperate to see people pleading with them to stay so they can massage their own egos.

    You have a lot to contribute here, but if it's not the right place for you then you know what you need to do.
     
  14. EvertonLad

    EvertonLad Member

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    Well that's a kick in the balls I thought that mark fella was the only other man doing this. Come on son chin up you're just having an emotions moment. Women are always right it's out job to just help them on their journey of rightness (even though we are the sensible species, but dont tell them)
     
  15. Dietkitty

    Dietkitty Rebel without a calorie

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    I see the monthly challenge as a visual pledge to myself of what I want to lose in that month, another mini goal, I thought that was the point of it. I don't think anyone sees it as a competition as we all lose at different rates don't we.
    I know it was done in a jokey way but even you Mark were accused of cheating by having your diet coke. But this little adjustment works for you and your losses have stayed consistant (and brilliant!) with no ill effects. I was just trying to emphasise that there is a difference between cheating and making the diet work for you personally. I posted that thread about the difficulties I am having with the bars and got lots of support and ideas which was fantastic and just what I needed. There are a few lucky people on here that have a neighbour, spouse or friend to compare these things with, but I don't, I just have my forum friends to ask.
    Anyway, my point is that we are singing from the same hymn sheet just expressing ourselves in our own unique style - we're not all clones just because we're doing the same diet lol.
    On a personal note I like the honesty and if I should ever take offence at anything I'll be sure to let you know :)
     
  16. markanderl

    markanderl Silver Member

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    I wear my heart on my sleeve and if that means I am being over dramatic then so be it and tough, anyway, I hope this is now the end of it, if I offended anyone I apologise but will not apologise for who I am.
     
  17. babystar31

    babystar31 Gold Member

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    Cmon guys lets just appreciate we are all different but we all luv each other for it :D xxx
     
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  19. Yambabe

    Yambabe Bad Girl

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    You're going to have to try a lot harder if you want to offend me Mark! :D
     
  20. EvertonLad

    EvertonLad Member

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    zzzzzzzz

    leave it now he has said his peace.
     
  21. markanderl

    markanderl Silver Member

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    Thanks to everyone
     
  22. short and dumpy

    short and dumpy We are Flab-ou-Less!

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    no :(
     
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