scattykookie
Full Member
Hi hon,
I don't think your being a spoilt brat at all, I hope you don't mind me saying this but I think your mum is being manipulative because she know's she can because she has the funds and you don't. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her normally but from what you've written it doesn't sound like she respects the fact that although she is giving you some much needed financial assistance - it is YOUR wedding.
My MIL payed for my husband's side of the wedding because he wasn't able to at the time, and she pretty much dictated everything, the venue, the guest list, the catering, music, table decorations - neither hubby or I felt we could disagree with her because she was forking the cost. I even had to wear what she told me because hubby couldn't afford my dress - the run up to and during my wedding was v. stressful because it was all about her and I felt like a bit player at my own wedding In hindsight I wish we had either a) waited to get married until we were better off financially or b) just had a tiny wedding within our means and accepted zero help from her.
Honestly, your wedding day is supposed to be one of the most important and significant days of your life, it's perhaps the one time in a woman's life it can legitimatally be ALL about you (and of course the hubby lol). Given the chance to do it all over again I wouldn't accept a penny from my MIL because my memories of that day are tainted by her demands and antics. Sounds like the power may have gone to your mum's head, so I would graciously decline her offer of financial help and have a smaller wedding that has your stamp all over it.
As for the kitchen, I guess it depends how desperately you want it, if your kitchen is serviceable, and judging by the lovely food you make - it might be, I would again decline graciously and get it re-done once you can afford to.
Sorry for writing an essay, and I hope I haven't offended you by anything I've said.
I don't think your being a spoilt brat at all, I hope you don't mind me saying this but I think your mum is being manipulative because she know's she can because she has the funds and you don't. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with her normally but from what you've written it doesn't sound like she respects the fact that although she is giving you some much needed financial assistance - it is YOUR wedding.
My MIL payed for my husband's side of the wedding because he wasn't able to at the time, and she pretty much dictated everything, the venue, the guest list, the catering, music, table decorations - neither hubby or I felt we could disagree with her because she was forking the cost. I even had to wear what she told me because hubby couldn't afford my dress - the run up to and during my wedding was v. stressful because it was all about her and I felt like a bit player at my own wedding In hindsight I wish we had either a) waited to get married until we were better off financially or b) just had a tiny wedding within our means and accepted zero help from her.
Honestly, your wedding day is supposed to be one of the most important and significant days of your life, it's perhaps the one time in a woman's life it can legitimatally be ALL about you (and of course the hubby lol). Given the chance to do it all over again I wouldn't accept a penny from my MIL because my memories of that day are tainted by her demands and antics. Sounds like the power may have gone to your mum's head, so I would graciously decline her offer of financial help and have a smaller wedding that has your stamp all over it.
As for the kitchen, I guess it depends how desperately you want it, if your kitchen is serviceable, and judging by the lovely food you make - it might be, I would again decline graciously and get it re-done once you can afford to.
Sorry for writing an essay, and I hope I haven't offended you by anything I've said.
