Had our first "drop out"

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Blonde Logic, 5 February 2008 Social URL.

  1. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    We were told last night at group, that one of the ladies called the LLC in the week and said she would not be returning. She said she did not like to plan and did not like the group. :(

    I must say, I was not terribly surprised. ANd if I am honest, I did not think she was going to really get from the plan what it offered as she was still well and truly cruisng the river of denial.

    SHe was the largest of the group - by I would guess about 3 or more stone. (Now I have that dubios distinction :rolleyes:)

    But sadly, she did not believe she had a weight problem. WHenever a situation was mentioned, about strangers reaction to our size, she'd claim that has never been a problem...if we spoke about the physical pain we experience, she claims nothing ever hurt....if we talked about overeating, she claimed she did not gorgeo or binge ever, etc.

    It's very sad, how our minds can either be our best friends or our worst enemies.

    I fel very bad that she has left - she was well on her way - lost over a stone the first week and signicant losses the following two. But she was not ready to face her demons I suppose.

    Well, I wish her luck.....I worry about her as her health is surely severl compromised by her weight. I just found it a real shame.

    Thinking about it,she is the third member to leave but the other two never returned after the first night. So now we are a group of 8. In a way thats nice - more 'intimate and safe' if you know what I mean....but I just wish everyone could get the benefits from this that I am. SOmedays I just want to run up to every one I see that could benefit and 'share the light!'.

    And again, it reaffirms, as things do daily, how much changing our head is the most major part of this journey.
     
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  3. IWILLSUCCEED!

    IWILLSUCCEED! Banned

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    Hiya,
    That is very sad and I hope the woman also "sees the light" soon.
    I guess we all have to find the right time for us to do this journey but it does make me wonder why she started in the first time if her weight isn't an issue!
    You're right - it is our heads that are our worst enemy and we often make all kinds of excuses not to start looking after ourselves. God knows we, as women, often spend most of the time looking after other people and forgetting our own needs!
    You are doing fantastically - well done and I'm inspired!
    Take care and keep on goin strong
    Tansyx:)
     
  4. bexnkev

    bexnkev Silver Member

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    We've lost about 4 from our group now!! the ones that are left are great though. Sad that these people can't benefit like I have but I guess it isn't for everyone :)
     
  5. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    We have sort of lost 1. She hasnt left but only been to about 3 meetings as she is ill. The rest are a great crowd and besides telling our woes we have a great laugh. We are nearly at the end of our 14 weeks and only about 4 will be doing development and then we move into another class with 15 in at the mo, so will be a bit crowded for a few weeks. Not sure if I am looking forward to it.

    BL I know what you mean about telling the world about LL I feel like that sometimes. When a she a pretty young very overweight girl I wanna tell them not to waste the life and get on with it. I do curb me tongue though.
     
  6. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    yes, BL I agree with everything you wrote there. It was obviously not the right time for the woman to face her fears and deal with her weight. Sad. And, yes. Our MINDS - - - tough little s"""ts aren't they. What we need to remember is that WE control our thoughts, they don't control us.

    YOu keep going BL, you are a true inspirer
     
  7. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    We went from about 13 to about 9 - and now I am in developers with 4 of my group - some are in RTM, some are back in foundation with a new group (for exra support as they have a long way to go) and some have left. Luckily my developers group are fab, but I'll be leaving them in a couple of weeks to go to RTM. At least all of us have something in common!!!
     
  8. Linze01

    Linze01 Full Member

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    We had two ladies start in foundation who were best friends and from the beginning one did really well, staying abstinent and sticking to the plan. The other starting eating other things in the second week. In week five, neither of them returned. I felt so sorry for the lady who had been doing so well (she'd lost nearly 3 stone) as it seemed fairly clear that she wanted to continue and her journey had been sabotaged by her 'friend'. Apparently our LLC never heard from either of them again. It made me really sad at the time, so I know what you mean, BL. It also underlined to me the importance of making this an absolutely personal and individual journey. Allowing your thoughts to be negatively influenced by others is definitely the path to ruin as far as LL is concerned.
    Linze
     
  9. lola123

    lola123 Silver Member

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    I think its easier for them to quit than to carry on. You have to be determined to do this because you are giving a lot up. Its all phycological, at the weekend when I was having it bad my mum told me to give up even my husband told me to give up, the only people that spurred me on where the kids. They said come on mum we know you can do this and do you know what they were right. So after the intial three days, onday four I felt 100% better and so glad I didn't give up. I'm a wee bit tired today and achy but its totm so thats understandable. It will be interesting to go to the LL meeting tomorrow to see who has lasted the first week, will keep you posted. Lola XXX
     
  10. x-Katie-x

    x-Katie-x Gold Member

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    We are down to 3 in our group and we were only on our 4th weigh in last night. I had joined a refresher course which was aimed to last for 9 weeks and would include some management but would continue solely on packs for people like me who have a loooonnnnggg way to go.

    There started off with at least 13 of us but they all fell at the wayside really quickly and for the last couple of weeks it's just been us 3 --- I think the LLC will work it so that her next development group join us.
     
  11. lighterlifeclaire

    lighterlifeclaire Silver Member

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    I'm on week 12 and there are 2 of us going strong!!!!!! hahaha!!!!
     
  12. toller-girl

    toller-girl constantly confused

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    I feel bad for her, but maybe it's for the best for the rest of the group? Must be hard to share personal information if there is somebody negative in the group?

    Hopefully she'll go back when she's ready, and will see the same success as the rest of you.
     
  13. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Actually, yes Toller GIrl. You are spot on there, if I am honest.

    Anytime one of us shared something personal, etc., she would scoff and say, "Well, its never been like that for me"....or if we said we were tired of being judged for being fat, again, "well, I have never been judged..." she just could not admit there was any iota of difficulty or pain associated with being about 200 pounds overweight.

    So yes, she was going to start bringing the group down in that respect...a very good point TG. :)
     
  14. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    Our group is really good there is a lot of variety. There is two who tell the world everything (I am one of them) and 2 who say absolutely nothing at all and the rest are sort of in the middle. It is a great balance and at the beginning when we decided on our group rules I suggested that we dont sit in the same place every week so that it doesnt get clicky.

    Our last class is next week and then its either development which would be Wed or Sat. I am a bit sad in that most of our developers will be doing Sat and they are all encouraging me to go then, but I would like me weekends to myself and not have to get up at 7.30 to go to class at 8.30am. After a long think last night I have decided to go to the Wed one on my own although I will miss my comrades. Hope I have made the right decision, although I am not at all shy - dont suppose you've noticed.
     
  15. Alibongo

    Alibongo Happily pro pointing!

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    You can always change your mind Lady, you could start the wed and switch to Sat if you wanted.

    We have only lost 1 from our group and that was because she was ill and started at a later date. We all get on really well and they are a lovely group. Most of us will be starting RTM about the same time too which will be nice.

     
  16. Size10wannabe

    Size10wannabe Full Member

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    Interesting, we are on week 5 and still all 12 of the starters are still there going strong. Its a very good & committed group. Not sure about how good the LLC is but time will tell I guess!

    x
     
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