Has any one managed........

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by olliebog, 9 May 2010 Social URL.

  1. olliebog

    olliebog Full Member

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    to cut the link between emtional/upset etc and comfort eating?

    Has anyone managed to break this habit? Is it possible?

    I am having a bad day :sigh:
     
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  3. kimi31

    kimi31 Full Member

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    Hi Ollie
    Although i havent managed to cut the link i am so much more aware of it now ( after 12 months of PND and a lot of stress/upset with the kids and the ex husband)
    I can usually feel when i am going to go on a downwards spiral and try and give myself a good talking too. I have only been on SW 2 weeks and have (proudly) stuck to it 100%. Yesterday though was my toughest day yet and i had to exercise all my self control not to gorge on the treats i had bought the kids. I maxed out my syns but didnt go over. I just sort of took the situation in hand iykwim?
    I also try and get out of the house if i can feel the urge to comfort eat coming on, wether thats to play out with my son or to sit in the sun for 10 mins in the back garden alone.
    i am all for positive thinking and although aware we cant go through life 100% positive 100% of the time...i find taking it a day at a time helps
    Hope this isnt all waffle...
    Kimx
     
  4. olliebog

    olliebog Full Member

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    hello kimi

    Thanks for your reply... I haven't given into any temptation (yet), and I really don't want to. But I would have thought having been on SW 3 weeks that this urge would go.

    I can really sympathize on your PND I had 3 years of it with my first daughter... and it does take alot to get over it. I was very unfortunate and wasn't diagnosed until I had it for 18 months. You do start to feel better but it does take time. I was so scared that I would get it with my second daughter almost dominated my second pregnancy but I was fine and it didn't resurface.

    Thanks for your positive reply and how you are coping with your stresses.

    x x x x
     
  5. *Cupcake*

    *Cupcake* is working hard.....

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    First of all ((((huge cyber hugs)))) for having a bad day :hug99:.

    Secondly - thank you so much for posting this as I was having exactly those thoughts last night.

    I haven't got an answer I'm afraid - I don't understand how the ingrained link between food and emotion can be broken. It seems that food is linked to almost every emotion - celebrations, funerals, break ups, social events, holidays, rewards etc - so how do you break that? I don't know. :confused:

    Some people talk of using food as comfort, as like being an addict. Yet if you broke an addiction to say alcohol, you would abstain (I'm thinking AA). Can't do that with food though can you?! :ignore:

    I had a dreadful, lonely evening last night, despite a good day on plan. Last HEX ticked off, children in bed, sat down to watch Casualty.....then the lonliness struck big time. Party from down the road went on long and loud and I felt like the only person alive who was alone. That would be my cue to meet up with my friend Dairy Milk but I didn't and I struggled. 2 bananas, 2 alpen lights and a cup of tea later I cried myself to sleep :sigh2:

    I feel better this morning, and I can put it all in perspective, but I too would like to know how to break the link - anyone?!!.

    I hope today gets better for you, and you move through this ok. Take care and don't be too hard on yourself. Sending you positive vibes....:vibes:

    xx
     
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  6. olliebog

    olliebog Full Member

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    thank you cupcake for your caring reply.

    I know exactly what you mean about people with other addictions, as you say AA, you can stop drinking (with help) and never drink again (with luck), but food, you can't go without food :sigh:

    Being lonely was how I started out being overweight many many years ago. And I think my eating problems started then. I'm not so much lonely any more but I have some relationship problems and financial problems which added together sometimes could lead to comfort eating. I know there are loads of food choices to make, but sometimes for me a plain simple latte sometimes does the trick, and it's not to bad on syns, but I can't carry on and lose weight if every time I feel down I have a latte.

    I am wondering, someone out there who has lost a large amount of weight must have conquered this problem.

    Cupcake, I can't thank you enough, because what you have said is so so so true, and I am sure Kimi, you and me aren't the only people with this problem.
     
  7. IanH

    IanH Silver Member

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    I'm not sure it's ever possible to fully break that link. What it is possible to do is to educate ourselves to know when we are eating because we are hungry and when we want to eat because of other reasons (boredom, comfort, etc) and to try and resist at those times. Additionally - we can also change the type of foods we turn to in the times where we feel we have no other choice but to eat as the comfort eating habit is so ingrained in us.

    It's no secret that I started this journey at over 27stone. A large portion of how i got to that size was comfort eating, which in turn lead to some rather bad eating habits and over eating. The comfort eating stemming from depression after a series of deaths in the family. However since joining Slimming World in December 08, I have come to learn alot more about me and my relationship with food.

    But I am still tempted to turn to food when times get tough. But these days - i go for free foods knowing that they've got to be better for me then the chocolate, etc. that i used to turn to. I've also, and only in the last few months, started to break some of my bad eating habits - i've started to ask myself if i'm truly hungry before eating something, rather then eating because it's there. It's taken the best part of 17months to get to this point though (but then i'm a stubborn fool at times as well).


    .
     
  8. Lovely_Laura

    Lovely_Laura Moooooo

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    Hi, I don't qualify as someone who has beaten this though maybe that will change...until this week I'd gone 10 weeks without that feeling of emptiness taking over me, I was sure I'd cracked it but the last 3 days I haven't stopped eating, nothing off plan, nothing like I would have before SW so though it's hardly under control I am grateful that with SW I can eat if the mood takes over. Obviously portion control etc is part of the plan but if eating more of something stops me eating the crap I normally would then I don't see it as harmful. I see it that I'm lucky to be able to with hopefully minimum damage done at weight in.

    As far as the whole link with food and emotions there just isn't a simple answer. People sometimes find it helpful to write down how they're feeling when it's triggered in the hope that over time it will form a pattern but if you're one of those people who eat with every emotion that's one long list.:8855:

    I was referred to a psychotherapist a year or so ago in the hope it would help my weight along with my severe depression. It did help but not so much with understanding why I abuse food. We spent all the time working on everything else I have problems with but it did teach me to reflect on how I'm feeling and to stop being so angry with myself. This has helped with alot of parts of my life. I still feel incredibly frustrated with myself but I'm becoming a little easier on me while I try and understand the issues I deal with.

    As you say alcoholics and drug users can just stop using but to be fair so could we almost. Any diet that replaces food means you don't have to go to the kitchen, you dont have to go shopping etc. but eventually you will need to start eating again and if you haven't learned control then what's to say it will be different? (I am absolutely not bashing anyone who uses meal replacement, I have a lot of respect for you as I know it's not something I could do.)

    With any diet the issues we have with food can actually seem much closer to the surface as our whole lives can feel taken over with the thought of food. We all have to find ways to cope with the denial of certain things and how that effects us mentally. With SW I've found a diet which is forgiving if I can't control myself totally. Obviously I'd LOVE to just cut all emotional ties I have with food and who knows, perhaps that will happen. If it doesn't then at least there is a way to not beat ourselves up about it which inevitebly makes our food intake worse.
     
  9. olliebog

    olliebog Full Member

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    Ian and Laura

    Your words have been very comforting. The most comforting thing out of everybody's replies is that I am not the only one that goes through this. Maybe a few weeks down the line I will be able to turn off my comforting eating mode. I have done before, last year I lost 3 stone quite easily with a low fat diet (Rosemary Connelly's) but never reach my target. I learnt then that I had a relationship problem with food.... I think I need to give myself some time and hopefully I can get back to the 'correct' frame of mind with food.

    You guys and this site really is a life saver and I can't thank you all enough.

    xxxxxxxxx
     
  10. betts

    betts Full Member

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    hi, i have been a comfort eater for a large part of my life. I had a stillbirth 10 years ago and started to binge eat. I discovered slimming world 3 years ago and it was the only time that i could control what i was eating and still allow myself treats using syns. I managed to get down to 9 stone and had a healthy bmi. Last year i had a premature baby and fell back in to my old habits of comfort eating and bingeing. In April this I hit a low and since then I have started to turn my life around, I have started to exercise and gone back to the slimming world plan. I cant say it has been easy but after 5 weeks I am already feeling more positive and feeling less tempted to turn to chocolate when I feel down. I try and use my syns wisely allowing myself treats when i need them. With my new found motivation and determination to get this weight off I find myself not craving things so much. This website has been a huge blessing and support as i know i am not the only person going through this ...Good luck with your weight loss :)
     
  11. Inmydreams

    Inmydreams Member

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    I dont think you can ever cut the link to be honest - but just become more aware of it and hopefully make wiser food choices along the way. Im an emotional eater and struggle with the daily battle of trying to stop myself from raiding the cupboards and eating all in sight.......just cos im tired, bored or feel upset. I think if you have a weight issue then it will always be there, like an addiction really. I now do SW and try to ask myself am i hungry for free foods? If the answer is no, then im not really hungry.
    Abby x
     
  12. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    I think it's possible yes, but i do believe its a completly different journey, alongside your weight loss journey. I think its somthing you really have to focus and work on.

    Iv been with slimmingworld 2 years this month, and although my emotional eating is ALOT better, i cannot say it isnt still a problem occasionally.. I think it will always be a problem for me, but i deffinatly have control over it. I CHOSE to eat during an emotional day, but i can chose not too.. much more easily. I no longer feel its my only option, the only thing to do on a crappy day.

    im sorry to hear your having a poo day, it is a choice though.. you can do it, you can stay strong..

    lots of love to you xxx
     
  13. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

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    I think that as you have posted the question on here, you must be making progress to addressing your emotional eating.

    I eat rubbish foods when i am bored, and when i watch films (how odd - i think i connect it to cinema pic and mix etc) and im trying to break this habit. Although ive replaced the junk with yoghurts and fruit, so i am still eating, but different things. Soon i hope to be able to not eat at all in these times, and the habit is broken.

    So what i am saying in a very long winded way is - overnight, its not going to change from one to the other, but instead look at taking baby steps towards your goal and soon you will get there and change things xxx
     
  14. Loopeylou

    Loopeylou Gold Member

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    Some great comments here, I have real issues with comfort eating stemming from childhood problems.....currently going to counselling to help cope / deal with the things that affect my life now but I know its something I will always have to deal with.
    When food has been a comfort in my experience it will take many years too to find other ways to address issues differently.
    Recognising the warning signs is a huge step forward however as it can enable you to try to stop the spiral downwards......coming here and talking is a big step, perhaps finding a diet buddy that you can keep in contact with at all times.
    Big hugs and hope your feeling a bit more optimistic
    xxx
     
  15. olliebog

    olliebog Full Member

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    Thank you again everybody for your replies.

    I am feeling so much better today, I felt awful yesterday, but I did manage not to comfort eat and I feel proud of myself for doing that.

    I think it will just take me some time to get back to the frame of mind I was once in. I know I can do it, because I did it before maybe I am being a little impatient with myself.

    Thanks again x x x x
     
  16. gemma_

    gemma_ Silver Member

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    LOL.. no... I thought I had but my uncle died yesterday and out came chocolate :(
     
  17. olliebog

    olliebog Full Member

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    gemma sorry to hear that your uncle died x x x x
     
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  19. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

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    Hi Mate

    As a few people have already mentioned I think it's important to identify true hunger from 'pretend' hunger that we get when emotions drive our food choices.

    Here is a list I have found helpful in identifying if I am truly hungry or not- I hope it helps you as much as it helps me:
    1. Wanting food NOW (real hunger slowly creeps up on you, emotional is instant)
    2. Not being mindful of what your body is saying e.g. carrying on eating even though you are full
    3. Wanting a very specific type of food (usually fatty or sweet- as the saying goes "If you are not hungry for free food, you are not really hungry"
    4. Feeling guilty after eating- there would be no reason to feel guilty if you were simply eating to satisfy physical hunger
    5. The trigger for the eating was something emotional (and not necessarily bad emotions- I have often binged when I am happy/excited too)
     
  20. *Emsie*

    *Emsie* Gold Member

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    I feel a lot more in control of my emotional hunger now thanks to counselling and SW its not easy at all and has taken me years to get there.
    Good luck x
     
  21. Loopeylou

    Loopeylou Gold Member

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    Gemma so sorry to hear about your loss.....hugs
    xx
     
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