Have you been bullied because of your weight?

[CountryBumpkin]

I've been big all my life and that's obviously come with a lot of criticism, primarily from strangers and people from my neighbourhood. Even as an adult, I've had people yell things in the street (predominantly by teenage boys, but sometimes it's been adults too). I'm curious to know what experiences people have had, whether that's physical or verbal abuse, whether it's come from a stranger or a loved one. Has anyone else been subject to bullying because of their weight?

 

[northernlight84]

I don't think I have been openly bullied, but I know that people have spoke behind my back and that people made assumptions about me based on my weight.


It's strange as I'm now at a point in my life where my weight is getting to a more "normal" range, and today I got put forward for a promotion at work which I'm certain wouldn't have happened if I was still the weight I was,Minot only because of judgemental people but also my own confidence and self belief. Xx

 

[froggylegs]

People can be horrible

Only once for me, a car drove past me in the street and a bloke in it shouted "fat ar*e" out the window, I was mortified.

 

[sophiesurprise]

My whole life really, unfortunately i then used food as a way to deal with it, if someone had said something mean about me then 5 bags of crisps a piece of cake and a sandwich and all before dinner! I've now got to the stage in my life where my new job I do requires you to look a certain way, I love my job and I don't want to not do well because of the way I look. I suppose everyone finally reaches a stage in there life where enough is enough...and mines only taken 22 years lol

Here's to people looking at us in a good way lol

 

[CountryBumpkin]

I completely get what you're saying, Sophie. I've often wondered what role my size has played in my ability to secure jobs. I'm looking forward to it not even being a consideration! May I ask what it is you do?

Why do strangers have to be so cruel? Do they genuinely think it's funny to humiliate heavier people? How would they feel if someone yelled "fat arse" at their mother or father or child?

 

[nickinackynoo1]

I was only bullied as a child, not openly as an adult

But ive always had this being invisable feeling, guys would ignore me in nightclubs and talk to my pretty friends, people dont really listen to my opinions or make efforts to talk to me and I think its because im fat, who knows when im skinny I might actually just be very boring! Haha!!

 

[Jambro]

I wouldn't say 'bullied' per say, but a few nasty 'fat *****, slag, cow' etc as a teenager. To which my response would always be "no **** Sherlock!!"
always putting on a hard face, acting like it didn't bother me. Or I would get the fat jokes/ comments in before anyone else could.
I suppose I've been quite 'lucky' if you like. Not had too many problems in that way.

 

[littlemiss]

I've had some things happen, I recently posted a thread because my partner called me a fat b*tch during an argument recently, we've been together nearly 11 years and he's done it maybe 3 times....not a lot but still not acceptable. It was one of those major arguments....but still.

I once had someone walk by and say i'd look fit if I wasn't so fat. I've also had the school bullying and also was picked on by family members when I was younger (adult family members) when I look back now it just seems so so cruel. But I suppose at the time I thought I deserved it!

 

[froggylegs]

God its no wonder so many of us have self esteem and confidence issues

 

[sophiesurprise]

Hi CountryBumpkin, I am a diamond and jewellery expert, so I do feel there's a certain image to have when selling and evaluating jewellery.

It is hard to believe sometimes that people wouldn't give you the job because you are too large or wont give you that promotion because you are big! I'm looking forward to just being normal now (well as normal as i can be ) having the same advantages and disadvantages as someone who is a size 12 and not a size 22!

 

[CountryBumpkin]

Littlemiss, I'm still reeling from the shock that your PARTNER, the one who is meant to love and support you the most, has called you something so vile. Your "partner" should be your equal, not someone who looks down on you. I'm so angry on your behalf and so sorry that he hurt your feelings!

Hi Sophie! I see what you mean. That's a glamorous job so, despite our better natures, I think there is an expectation of what a jewellery expert would look like, and in my head it's something a little like Catherine Zeta Jones! It's been a while since I've been job hunting but I've definitely felt the disappointment once I've walked into the room before. Clearly they liked my CV but weren't expecting big fat me to come through the door. I'm doing a distance learning degree at the moment (three years down, three to go) but at the end of it I'm looking forward to trying to for better jobs and not worrying about my appearance. To be honest, it'll be quite the treat just to be able to buy decent interview clothes which fit well!

 

[littlemiss]

Uch I just read that back and saw how horrible it sounds....its funny how it doesn't feel that bad! I would justify it by saying that because its only happened very seldom that its ok (better than happening all the time) but its still bad and still isn't acceptable. What he's done is nothing compared to what I got as a child I suppose it doesn't seem as bad!? Hmmmm

 

[CountryBumpkin]

It would depend on who the people were that were mean to you as a child. Strangers and school bullies is one thing, but friends and family is a whole other ballpark. I can't ever, EVER imagine using words like that on someone I love, or tolerating being spoken to like that. I think it's terribly disrespectful. :nono:

 

[littlemiss]

It was family - mum, dad, and aunt & uncle. I suppose they thought that it would shame me into losing weight? I remember a programme used to be on when I was little with mr.blobby in it, I remember being called mrs blobby and it also happened throughout the whole of school. The heartbreaking part is, I was never totally huge. Just chubby.

xxxx

 

[froggylegs]

S sorry about what you went through littlemiss, dont know what else to say :bighug:

 

[CountryBumpkin]

Noel's House Party, littlemiss! We are children of the same era.

My brother used to tease me a lot but my mum is a feeder, so we were basically a family of tubbies (my brother had a super-fast metabolism so he got away with it for 20 years and then...). I can't imagine how it must have been to grown up in a house where your parents commented on your weight. My house was the one place I could go where I knew it wouldn't be mentioned, where I knew I wouldn't be the biggest in the room.

 

[littlemiss]

Yeah Noel's house party lol how I loved that show. I cant describe what its like to have loved ones say those things, my mum is a health freak, she's around 7.5 stone, hardly eats, hardly gave us any food at dinner times ect. Thing is - when I was younger I had something wrong with me and food made me ill, i'd purge it all back up (without forcing myself) I ended up being one of those very skinny children who didn't eat and was nearly admitted to hospital, luckily I stopped but I had all my family force feeding me, you know what its like when a child doesn't eat, trying all the tricks to get me to finish my plate....since then...I've never left a bit on my plate - and they always wondered how I over ate...ehhhh because you force fed me!!! I think they thought ridicule would stop me, little did they know it has the opposite effect.

xxxxxx

 

[CountryBumpkin]

Exactly: you can't bully someone into changing. If you're genuinely worried about their health you need to work with them, not against them. Tough love can be difficult enough for some but what you're describing isn't tough love, it's flat out bullying.

I'm a little sadistic though, because there's part of me that thinks I wish my parents HAD called me names. I wish someone had told me "No one will love you if you're fat", because maybe it would have spurred me into action. Maybe it's also because I don't feel good about myself and I feel that that statement is true, so I deserved to be told it.

xxxx

 

[littlemiss]

Yeah I know what you mean, and in a way I suppose it did help. But at the same time, I know people the same as yourself, where other family members were bigger and their families made them feel loved regardless, and they are alot more confident than me. It might have stopped my weight getting really out of control but it didn't help my confidence issues thats for sure.

xxx