Have you ever felt

Discussion in 'General Weight Loss Discussion' started by FunSize, 26 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. FunSize

    FunSize Member

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    I'm wondering if anyone has ever felt like someone is hoping for them to fall flat in their face with diets.

    I started Paul Mckennas ' I can make you thin' in Feb this year (bye bye 24lb so far), where as i get on with the girls I work with, I feel they are starting to not like me because i'm losing weight, where as they are gaining. Its a bit hard to explain.. but i'll try:

    I started it originally because of PCOS, and insulin resistance and didnt want to turn diabetic. But my brother was also getting married so it helped with some motivation, but as soon as the wedding hit, straight after it, i kept getting jibs that I 'only' did it for my brothers wedding. One said I would end up gaining again since I only did it for my brothers wedding (i've not told them one single reason why i decided to diet). I've lost since my brothers wedding, but it really feels like they are hoping for me to fall 'off' the wagon, just to say 'i told you so'.

    Has anyone else ever felt that people are hoping they gain all the weight they lost?
     
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  3. mealiepuddin'

    mealiepuddin' Full Member

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    Stuff them. It think this could be sweet revenge.

    Put them in their place by continuing what you've been doing. That way, come the Xmas party, they will be sitting in the corner hunched up while you're confidently loving the dance floor!

    Don't wait for them to trip you up..... let them trip themselves up when you've reached your goal, which you're going to do anyway!

    Two fingers to them! :kissass: :D

    xx
     
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  4. Dramatic_Star

    Dramatic_Star Calorie Counter

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    No personal experience of this, but use it as fuel to prove them wrong. People like that are sad. They should be happy for you & support you, so shame on them.

    Be proud of your weight loss & keep at it.

    (P.S. Sorry for rant!!)
     
  5. Patchninja

    Patchninja Full Member

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    I think another word for that is jealousy! Keep up your great diet!
     
  6. FunSize

    FunSize Member

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    I know where your coming from but then it may end up feeling i'm doing it for spite of them rather than myself, I'll have to keep it in mind that its all for me, although really wish they would stop dangling chocolate and sweets infront of me day in day out, but maybe because i'm not eating them, they are, that they are gaining. Almost Irony.

    Although its a bit strange thinking that someone is jealous and trying to ruin it. I dont think i've ever had someone jealous of me (its strange!) I couldnt exactly put my finger on what was up with them.

    Planning to drop another stone then wear a dress for the xmas do (not wore a dress since the wedding, then before that, well years before that!)

    You're fine to rant, I was hoping someone would rant just as much as me, lol.
     
  7. Choccychompa

    Choccychompa Member

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    Unfortunately there are always people who will try to sabbotage your weight loss, whether consciously or subconsciously. Human nature is such that people are not usually happy for someone's sucesses so much, unless they are sharing in it iyswim.

    Keep your chin up and carry on doing what you're doing. Funnily enough when I lost weight last time it was my thin friend who offered me most congratulations, as she had nothing to be jealous of, lol. x
     
  8. Canadatogo

    Canadatogo Full Member

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    I worked pretty hard to diet and go down a couple sizes before I came home for a visit. Then, I think, on the third night back my mother tried serving me the single biggest piece of pie I'd ever seen! (Bigger than the portion she cut for my dad) I politely said that it was WAY too big, and that I'd take a smaller portion. I got the portion that she'd cut for herself (literally half the size!!!!) and gave her the portion that she'd tried to give me!

    Just because I wanted to lose some weight for my visit, doesn't mean I want to gain it all back now that I'm here!!!
     
  9. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    I think it's mostly a woman thing. Women in groups can be viciously catty creatures, especially if they feel the obvious hierarchy has been disrupted. There's usually a Queen Bee who regards the environment as her personal realm, and she has a squad of wannabe suck-up drone bees around her, wanting to keep in her good books. Anyone she doesn't favour finds themselves on the periphery and is usually ostracised in some way, unless she has a use for them.

    A lot of women do interpret weight loss as a sign of power - if you're skinnier, you have more social and professional clout, or so they believe. So the girls at work may be feeling insecure that you're effectively raising your social status by shedding the weight and looking more glam. Shallow, but true. For someone to move up the ladder, someone else has to move down a rung, after all. They're worried about that relegation, and worried about looking bad when compared to you.

    Just don't let them throw you off course. Dangling chocolate under your nose is a pretty nastily passive-aggressive thing to do, but it's their only means of getting to you, so just realise how impotent they actually are. You could always offer to give them some tips and help them out if they want to lose weight themselves - but that's a high risk strategy, because they might just use it as yet more fuel for whispering about how 'up' yourself you are, and stuff like that. If you can have a chat with them one-on-one rather than in a group environment, you're more likely to make progress and build some bonds, if possible.

    Either way, congrats to you on staying strong, and I hope you reach your target soon!
     
  10. FunSize

    FunSize Member

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    Thank you honies, I've never thought of it like that!

    I did offer some advice to them, basically enjoy their food and have healthier options (I just love fruit over sweets), while they were lifting up cream buns and wondering why I wasnt taking them. Said the words 'then dont eat cream buns' the scornful looks, youch. I gave up after that, well gave up on offering advice. I've got a few people to start it (well one half read the book, the other had read the book but not listened to the cd, but I figure helping them get the food thing under control they will get happier with themselves and concentrate on other areas rather than how many cals are in a latte).

    @Canadatogo - I've noticed that, but I've just started saying I want a Deli slice, or a cafe sized slice.

    @Iris - Wow at the weight loss, you must feel so different now.

    Thanks for the replies, and remember to keep it up yourselves !
     
  11. *Abi*

    *Abi* Member

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    I can completely agree, there are a few people in my life that seem determined to throw me off course, or if I decline the offer of a Chinese buffet night out or something, are really unsupportive. Girls will always be jealous, but dieting will make you and only yourself feel happy in the end, ignore them!
     
  12. Chunky_Monkey

    Chunky_Monkey Full Member

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    ive had a similar experience.

    Whilst working I had a draw full of sweets, crisps and chocolate and was having around 7 cups of tea a day. So then one day i decided to just stop. I threw all of the sweets and crisps etc away, and filled the draw with oranges, apples, grapes. I noticed that these were far more fulfilling and tasty so i kept at it and just that little change caused me to lose 6 lb's in only a few weeks. I was extremely pleased with myself, so went into work with my head held high and couldnt wait to spread the news.

    However, certain members of staff where I worked were also trying to lose weight and were yet to be successful so they kept putting me down with comments such as 'can't tell' and 'how long is that going to last?' This wasnt just the females but a certain male member of staff also.

    Unfortunately this lead to me going back to my old ways because of the lack of support and because of how singled out i felt. One of the girls later went on to lose over a stone for her holiday and I was full of encouragement...Just a shame she couldnt have done the same for me.

    Congratulations on ur success so far any way and good luck
     
  13. Rebirth

    Rebirth New Member

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    Funsize, There will always be people who are jealous of your achievements be it weight loss, work etc. The only person who can truly control you and make you feel bad is you (if you let others control your emotions). Sometimes it's easier to be misleading and not let on you are changing your eating habits for weight loss, but because of health reasons. They would have to be really uncaring, or super jealous, to encourage you to stray if your health was at stake.

    Rebirth
     
  14. 1974rach

    1974rach Gold Member

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    my mum is the worst actually...my sister and I both noticed that she would sabotage our efforts (i don't think intentionally either)

    you just have to get your head down, white knuckle it and ignore the jibes, and I know this is easier said than done.

    chin up honey

    xxx
     
  15. Suze

    Suze Member

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    I would turn their negative vibes into positive ones, they obviously have reason to be jealous of you, therefore you've obviously done really well! I secretly like the jealously that comes with peoples reaction to your weight loss, it's just a little bit satisfying having spent years being the jealous one myself! :) xx
     
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