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Hello all...advice sorely needed!

#1
Hello everyone!

I have been on and off of these forums for a few years now but I am back and need to seriously address my weight.

For the first time I can say that my weight is affecting my health and it's scaring me. I don't know what I currently weigh as I am nervous to go on the scales but I would guess around 16 st... and at 5ft 4 that isn't good!
I am finding it hard to breathe when I walk my dog up the hills, one of my knees are feeling a bit sensitive, I suffer with an auto immune disease which can be improved by losing weight and a back problem, which to be honest being overweight isn't helping!

This is not a ploy for sympathy as I got myself to this place and have myself to blame, but how to I start to help myself as I comfort eat for my depression?

I walk my dog daily so I do get some exercise and I have stopped smoking(albeit for 3 days)
Does anyone have any advice at all, no matter how small?thanks in advance
 
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S: 80.5kg C: 78.6kg G: 68kg BMI: 34.5 Loss: 1.9kg(2.37%)
#2
Hi and welcome. Well done on making the decision. As you have already said you know your health problems are aggravated by your weight so you have good motivation. Its a slow process so set small targets rather than one big one, a targets too that aren't just about a number on a scales, for example "in 2 weeks I want to be able to walk up the hill without getting out of breath".
Decided on a food plan, everyone here is doing something different so lots of ideas. But it is important to have what is on your plan available when you need it to stop yourself munching on bad things. I know I need exercise too and keep focussed by writing down all it eat (especially the bad stuff) and all I exercise. Over time this shows me patterns of what causes weight gains and losses and helps me plan better.
The first step, making the decision, is a big one....well done and best wishes.
 
S: 11st9lb C: 10st9.5lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 27.3 Loss: 0st13.5lb(8.28%)
#3
Hello and welcome. :)

First of all, well done on being brave enough to admit to yourself that your weight is affecting your health and that it is scary. You've made a big step in acknowledging it and deciding to do something about it. It was being worried about my health that lead to me joining Slimming World 5 weeks ago and now I feel more positive that I am doing something about it. I hope you will be able to feel the same way soon.

Secondly - very well done on stopping smoking, even if it is for 3 days so far. That is hard to do and you should be proud of yourself. I've never smoked but everyone in my family did when I was a child, so I have seen people close at hand suffering with the health issues and the difficulties of trying to give up. My father died at 50 through smoking and it was a contributing factor in my brother's death last year. I'm sorry if that sounds like I'm trying to scare you some more - I don't mean to,but if you can stick with giving up it will make a huge difference to your health. My husband smoked long before I knew him and gave up 30 years ago - he very quickly saw the benefits, in months not years. He is now very healthy and exercises every day. If you stop smoking the effects of it can be reversed, so there is a really good reason to stick with it and be proud of yourself for getting even to 3 days. If you start to struggle then there is advice on the internet and your doctor might be able to help get you some support. Don't forget that when things get hard - it is not you that is a failure. Smoking is addictive, in habit and chemically - cigarettes are designed that way. So don't allow yourself to feel bad about yourself if you struggle at times.

You say that you are depressed which is very sad to hear, and I would recommend speaking to your doctor about it if you haven't already. The fact that you eat when you are feeling very low is something I think you should consider when deciding what type of diet / plan you are going to follow. Hopefully other people on here will be able to advise you on the plans they are following. It is worth some time researching and thinking about what suits the way you use food, your eating patterns and of course your budget. You might find a plan with a weekly meeting helps with an extra bit of support.

The only one I know a bit about is Slimming World. One of the advantages of it is that there are some foods that you can eat as much as you want of, so you don't have to go hungry (I get really cross and irritable when I'm too hungry!). If you plan your meals and snacks out in advance on it then there will always be something you can eat without feeling bad about it. There are also allowances for treats so you don't have to give up on everything you enjoy. I would recommend you take a serious look at slimming world and see if it is right for you. There are lots of local groups around the country so if you can get to one that could be a good thing to do - it will get you out for 1.5 hours a week with other people who are also trying to lose weight. The idea of planning your meals in advance might seem like too much at the start, especially as you are battling with depression, but it gets easier and there is lots of help and advice on the internet and here on the forum. There are also some quick meal and snack options that can make it easier.

Also I am finding it helpful to have a target to work towards, but it is important for me personally that it is a realistic target, otherwise I am prone to telling myself it isn't achievable and giving up. Have a think about your own personality. Will a very ambitious target spur you on, or like me, make you more likely to throw in the towel. Would having so interim targets help? You know yourself best so think about what works for you. We are all different and won't always find the same techniques helpful.

I also found reading stories of other people who had lost weight to be helpful. There are lots around and they can be good reminders of why you are trying to lose weight and the benefits of doing so.

Congratulations on getting out every day - just walking is a great way to get fitter. The longer you are not smoking the more you will notice the difference. You will find yourself breathing a bit easier. You may even be able to start increasing your pace or distance a few months from now. When I have had depression in the past I did find getting out for walks to be a great help.

You have been very brave coming on here and you clearly want to improve your health. The last bit of advice I have you you is - don't be too hard on yourself. You are trying to do a lot with giving up smoking and trying to lose weight. Accept that there will be sometimes when things don't go as well as you hoped. This is inevitable and you need to remind yourself that it doesn't mean you should give up, or that it reflects on you as a person. It happens to us all, even the successful slimmers.

I seem to have gone on a bit here - I am no expert and have only given advice because you asked for it. Please ignore any or all of it! I wish you the very best of luck.

Take care
Denise xx
 
#4
Hi and welcome. Well done on making the decision. As you have already said you know your health problems are aggravated by your weight so you have good motivation. Its a slow process so set small targets rather than one big one, a targets too that aren't just about a number on a scales, for example "in 2 weeks I want to be able to walk up the hill without getting out of breath".
Decided on a food plan, everyone here is doing something different so lots of ideas. But it is important to have what is on your plan available when you need it to stop yourself munching on bad things. I know I need exercise too and keep focussed by writing down all it eat (especially the bad stuff) and all I exercise. Over time this shows me patterns of what causes weight gains and losses and helps me plan better.
The first step, making the decision, is a big one....well done and best wishes.
Thank you for your reply! Yes I totally agree that I need to make small goals as otherwise I think it will be overwhelming to look how much I have to lose!i appreciate your advice
 
#5
Hello and welcome. :)

First of all, well done on being brave enough to admit to yourself that your weight is affecting your health and that it is scary. You've made a big step in acknowledging it and deciding to do something about it. It was being worried about my health that lead to me joining Slimming World 5 weeks ago and now I feel more positive that I am doing something about it. I hope you will be able to feel the same way soon.

Secondly - very well done on stopping smoking, even if it is for 3 days so far. That is hard to do and you should be proud of yourself. I've never smoked but everyone in my family did when I was a child, so I have seen people close at hand suffering with the health issues and the difficulties of trying to give up. My father died at 50 through smoking and it was a contributing factor in my brother's death last year. I'm sorry if that sounds like I'm trying to scare you some more - I don't mean to,but if you can stick with giving up it will make a huge difference to your health. My husband smoked long before I knew him and gave up 30 years ago - he very quickly saw the benefits, in months not years. He is now very healthy and exercises every day. If you stop smoking the effects of it can be reversed, so there is a really good reason to stick with it and be proud of yourself for getting even to 3 days. If you start to struggle then there is advice on the internet and your doctor might be able to help get you some support. Don't forget that when things get hard - it is not you that is a failure. Smoking is addictive, in habit and chemically - cigarettes are designed that way. So don't allow yourself to feel bad about yourself if you struggle at times.

You say that you are depressed which is very sad to hear, and I would recommend speaking to your doctor about it if you haven't already. The fact that you eat when you are feeling very low is something I think you should consider when deciding what type of diet / plan you are going to follow. Hopefully other people on here will be able to advise you on the plans they are following. It is worth some time researching and thinking about what suits the way you use food, your eating patterns and of course your budget. You might find a plan with a weekly meeting helps with an extra bit of support.

The only one I know a bit about is Slimming World. One of the advantages of it is that there are some foods that you can eat as much as you want of, so you don't have to go hungry (I get really cross and irritable when I'm too hungry!). If you plan your meals and snacks out in advance on it then there will always be something you can eat without feeling bad about it. There are also allowances for treats so you don't have to give up on everything you enjoy. I would recommend you take a serious look at slimming world and see if it is right for you. There are lots of local groups around the country so if you can get to one that could be a good thing to do - it will get you out for 1.5 hours a week with other people who are also trying to lose weight. The idea of planning your meals in advance might seem like too much at the start, especially as you are battling with depression, but it gets easier and there is lots of help and advice on the internet and here on the forum. There are also some quick meal and snack options that can make it easier.

Also I am finding it helpful to have a target to work towards, but it is important for me personally that it is a realistic target, otherwise I am prone to telling myself it isn't achievable and giving up. Have a think about your own personality. Will a very ambitious target spur you on, or like me, make you more likely to throw in the towel. Would having so interim targets help? You know yourself best so think about what works for you. We are all different and won't always find the same techniques helpful.

I also found reading stories of other people who had lost weight to be helpful. There are lots around and they can be good reminders of why you are trying to lose weight and the benefits of doing so.

Congratulations on getting out every day - just walking is a great way to get fitter. The longer you are not smoking the more you will notice the difference. You will find yourself breathing a bit easier. You may even be able to start increasing your pace or distance a few months from now. When I have had depression in the past I did find getting out for walks to be a great help.

You have been very brave coming on here and you clearly want to improve your health. The last bit of advice I have you you is - don't be too hard on yourself. You are trying to do a lot with giving up smoking and trying to lose weight. Accept that there will be sometimes when things don't go as well as you hoped. This is inevitable and you need to remind yourself that it doesn't mean you should give up, or that it reflects on you as a person. It happens to us all, even the successful slimmers.

I seem to have gone on a bit here - I am no expert and have only given advice because you asked for it. Please ignore any or all of it! I wish you the very best of luck.

Take care
Denise xx
Thanks for replying Denise! I certainly don't think you have 'gone on a bit' lol I am really thankful that you took the time to reply.
Firstly I wanted to say that I am sorry to hear about the passing of your father and brother but yes giving up smoking is one of the best things to do for health!

I have tried slimming world before and I love the way it works but unfortunately for me because I comfort eat I find that I eat for the sake of it, but it's the plan that I am veering towards to be honest as it's not a fad of such and encourages people to cook fresh nutritious food from scratch. I eat a lot of fruit and veg but my downfall is sweets chocolate and cake, if I cut those out I'd be winning!But I have an addiction to sugar so maybe I need to start making those sugar free jellies to help

I never thought i would get to the point where my weight would affect my health but here I am and I am panicked about my knee of all things because it feels odd... not painful as such but not right and I'm worried that something is going to be seriously wrong

I am going to meal plan and continue with the walking, drink more water and obviously continue with the no smoking and see where I go from there!

I also wish you well in your weight loss journey, I hope that maybe we can support each other
 
S: 11st9lb C: 10st9.5lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 27.3 Loss: 0st13.5lb(8.28%)
#6
Thanks for replying Denise! I certainly don't think you have 'gone on a bit' lol I am really thankful that you took the time to reply.
Firstly I wanted to say that I am sorry to hear about the passing of your father and brother but yes giving up smoking is one of the best things to do for health!

I have tried slimming world before and I love the way it works but unfortunately for me because I comfort eat I find that I eat for the sake of it, but it's the plan that I am veering towards to be honest as it's not a fad of such and encourages people to cook fresh nutritious food from scratch. I eat a lot of fruit and veg but my downfall is sweets chocolate and cake, if I cut those out I'd be winning!But I have an addiction to sugar so maybe I need to start making those sugar free jellies to help

I never thought i would get to the point where my weight would affect my health but here I am and I am panicked about my knee of all things because it feels odd... not painful as such but not right and I'm worried that something is going to be seriously wrong

I am going to meal plan and continue with the walking, drink more water and obviously continue with the no smoking and see where I go from there!

I also wish you well in your weight loss journey, I hope that maybe we can support each other
Thank you for your kind words. Mum died at 55 too so keeping my health is a big thing for me.

Your knee problems are hopefully just a warning sign that will ease as you lose weight. But if you are worried maybe a trip to the doctor is needed just to check it out?

I too had a problem with cake and chocolate - combined as chocolate cake for preference! I say 'had' but i still love the stuff. At least I can use syns to have a bit of chocolate which helps with the evening cravings. I tend to use my syns between wine and chocolate so I don't feel too deprived. I tried sugar free jellies but couldn't cope with the taste. I use syns on a fudge bar and take small bites to make it last. That does seem to help.

Lets hope we can support each other. Good luck and let us know how you get on. :)
 

Tibbs

Gold Member
S: 12st10lb C: 10st12lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 26.1 Loss: 1st12lb(14.61%)
#7
Hi Shiny shoes... some good advice from the others.
I struggled settling on one particular plan when I first joined here and was the queen of flitting diet to diet. I had some good advice from the girls on here and realised i wasn't losing weight as I wasn't sticking to any and switching when I couldn't eat what I wanted. I tend to binge eat, especially when stressed and on those days all I will eat is junk.It took me lots of attempts to stick to any one plan and I think the best thing that helped me was to Calorie Count so I could see the amount I was eating..looking up all the calories before I ate something and writing down what and when I ate it. Then I worked gradually on changing one thing at a time..like eat one choc bar instead of 2. I'd even set that as my mini goal and it didn't matter that it took me a week to achieve it.
Everyone on here is very supportive and all you have to do is post that you're struggling and someone will be there to help you..you're not alone.
My fitness pal and setting your calorie target for the day was a good help. Now I've got to grips with things I'm doing SW but still keep an eye on calories as even the "free" meals can be high if you eat the meal meant for 4 like I will:) I still have problems over eating but try to make sure I have lots of low calorie, SW free food ready to eat (like SW dips) that I can get every time I open the fridge door, which is a lot!
I think drinking more water is a big help..as in 6-8 glasses a day. A lot at first to get down and you'll never be away from the toilet but it helps get rid of toxins and fluid retention.
Keep posting, it really does help a lot and try to post what you're eating. Honestly, no one will criticise you or comment..most of us have been exactly the same, i definitely am:D Good luck X
 
S: 0st13.8lb C: 0st13.2lb G: 0st10lb BMI: 2.3 Loss: 0st0.6lb(4.35%)
#8
First of all well done for writing your post as I can totally relate to you but I would go and get weighed at a slimming world group and not at home and also stick at it good luck
 


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