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Hello. My accountability thread.

#1
Hi. I'm going to do this but have mixed feelings.
I'm embarrassed to acknowledge that I can't do this by myself and I'm embarrassed to admit my lack of will power and greed has got me so over weight.
I'm 5'3"" and 13st 2llb. I'm obese. Although I think I carry it well and I wear size 14 clothing consistently so I struggle to get my head around being so heavy. But then, I look on the mirror in changing rooms and... well I'm sure many of you know the rest.
I've tried various healthy eating plans and logs (I have no interest in "diets") but have very little will power so I'm hoping that being publicly accountable to my group will give me some responsibility on what goes in my mouth. I'm also tight and £5 a week will motivate me! Plus, that's probably the equivalent of what I was spending on chocolate each week so that's a very clear definition for me. I've never done a "proper" group thing/plan so that aspect is new to me.
My confidence and self belief is at zero, looks wise, socially and skill wise. Some of this is weight related but so much of it is about my job and I'm having a mid life crisis! So yeah, I'm fun to be around right now! Haha!
I joined my local group on my birthday last week. Decided the day before, not knowing much tbh. But I WILL be within healthy BMI by my 38th birthday. I figure that's a nice line in the sand and countdown. My reward will be a very pretty party dress and a weekend away with my husband. It was our 10year weddinh anniversary a few months back. We'd planned to go away for a night, struggled to sort out childcare etc. It was to be our first night away alone since my daughter was born six years ago. But I panicked. I didn't have a clue what I'd wear and then panicked over the pressure of it all. So we didn't go. I'm actually in tears thinking about it right now.
The only people who know are my husband - he's very supportive but well he's heard all this "I will loose weight" stuff before so y'know. The friend who inspired me to join SW with her amazing results. Another friend who is encouraging and my sister who tries to be nice but is comfortable being large (said with absolutely no judgement) and as such keeps saying "you don't need to loose anything", "you're going to get skinny and a faddy eater" etc. which is not helpful.
I don't want anyone else to know. I'm sure most people will not actually care or will be encouraging but as I said I find it embarrassing.
Oh gosh. Overshared and in tears. Ha! Not bad for a first post! Feeling sorry for myself I guess.
My first week hasn't been great- lack of planning due to starting at short notice then it took me a few days to understand the plan and then we already had food sorted for some days which did not fit into SW. But that's all OK. I've not had ANY chocolate this week and that is huge for me. I've (mostly) made conscious decisions on what I eat which again is a big deal, even if it hasn't all fitted into my SW plan. So although the scales won't show much/anything tomorrow, I know that mentally I've moved on hugely. I'm not sure I quite "get it" yet but im definantly heading in the right direction so onwards and upwards!
I've a year to loose 4st so realistically that's only 1lb a week. I can do that.
 
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#2
Hi there Mrs Smith, So glad you have joined us .. welcome to the forum.

That certainly was some post .. thought you were about to write your life story! :)
Not to worry it's nice to know you've made the decision to get some weight shifted and I'm sure you'll get plenty of advice and support on here.

I'm not following the SW diet .. can't get my head round it tbh! .. but there's lots of people on here that do.
... and just one other point .. it's ..

Onwards and Downwards
 
#4
No problem Mrs S... It's nice to have somewhere to get a good vent isn't it?
It's also much better that we have plenty of info on you and what's happening in your life so we won't have to be guessing all the time.
Such a shame about the wedding anniversary but keep that birthday weekend in mind and that will make up for it I'm sure .. especially with a lovely dress on a slim slinky you .. He'll be as happy as Larry .. as they say!
I'll pop in now and again to see how you are going .. take care

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#5
Hi Mrs Smith,

what a lovely post. I always think its nice to know background :)

I felt sad reading how you didn't go away for your anniversary :( make up for it on your 11th

you should start a diary, I'd love to follow it.

wishing you all the best x x
 


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