Help oh wise ones! Now with scarey pics!

[snuggle69]

As a lot of you probably know by now my weightloss journey has been a long one and I have lost so far 1lb under 9 stone. My weight is currently 11 stone.

Anyway this is where your advice is needed. Over the last couple of weeks quite a few people including my children, my sister and now today the only other woman who works in our company have been telling me that I need to stop and not lose anymore weight as I am now in their words "skinny" (I wish).
The lady at work came into my office today shut the door and just said she is worried that I am becoming addicted to losing weight and that she is worried about me as I am starting to look a little gaunt around my face neck and shoulders. My sister said the same kind of thing to me at the weekend.
I know that I have got at least 1 stone of excess skin on my stomach and the tops of my legs, which the hosptial consultant said I could have removed, if I didnt have acute asthma so its a no go.
I am a comfortable size 10 on my top half, and bottom half in skirts a size 12 or trousers/jeans a 14 due to the excess skin. Dresses are also a size 12.
So am I becoming addicted and should I just accept how I am. My current target weight is 10 stone 7 and when I discussed mentioned dropping it to my consultant at class next week she also didnt think it a good idea.
So what would you guys do? Is it just that I am always going to see myself as fat and so will never be happy with my size or should I carry on?
I guess if it helps i could get the children to take a pic tonight and post it on here for you all to see.
You guys are the only ones who really understand what I am going through hence asking what you would do!
I hope that you dont all think I am totally barmy!!

 

[moomintrolljen]

I think its the same as when people are happy being fat - It is completely your choice and if you still want to lose more then it is up to you entirely.
Of course i think you have to make sure
a) its within a healthy range for your height and bmi and
b) its really something you can happily maintain
Good luck hun x

 

[JosieDelonge]

This is a tough one. I guess only you know how your body feels and whether you want to lose more or not. How would you feel if you moved on to maintaining rather than losing? Would that upset you or if you had a small gain (1lb)?

You don't sound like you're addicted to losing weight and SW is healthy eating anyway. I'm sure your body eventually gets down to the weight it's happy with and maintains so unless you starve yourself, you can't really go past a certain point!

Maybe you should have a chat with your consultant and find out what a healthy weight is for your height. Also the BMI. Use that as your guidance?

I also think it's quite rude that people think they can tell others that they're "too skinny" but no one goes up to a heavy person and tells them they're "too fat"! I know they're trying to help, maybe as a few people have had a word with you, there is something to look in to.

As I said, I don't think you're addicted. You wouldn't have posted if you thought they were definately in the wrong.

 

[Greeneyes11]

Hi there, I lost weight last year on CD and got down to 9 stone 12lb (just wanted to be in the 9 stones) and fitted into size 8 and 10 jeans and tops but I have had 10 children and I do have lots of excess skin around my stomach too so I was probably quite slim then, it was so flobby that I could tuck it in my trousers, but I never ever saw myself as slim because of this excess skin and was never happy with the goal I reached, I know some people said I had got too thin (I have now put on a stone so around 11stone at the minute, but still trying to get back to 10 stone) but I guess I am never going to be happy, whatever I get down too... I thought I would be really happy at that weight, but I wasn't really.... sorry this doesn't answer your question but I can definately see your dilemma...

 

[snuggle69]

Thanks for these comments as I said my consultant wasnt impressed that I want to drop it to 10 stone instead of 10 stone 7 but will talk to her again. I dont want to look haggered or old but my biggest problem is that I look in the mirror and still see the 19 stone 12 me! Which is why I wonder if I will ever be happy and stop.

 

[moomintrolljen]

Awww snuggle you look fab on your profile pic x

 

[snuggle69]

Hi there, I lost weight last year on CD and got down to 9 stone 12lb (just wanted to be in the 9 stones) and fitted into size 8 and 10 jeans and tops but I have had 10 children and I do have lots of excess skin around my stomach too so I was probably quite slim then, it was so flobby that I could tuck it in my trousers, but I never ever saw myself as slim because of this excess skin and was never happy with the goal I reached, I know some people said I had got too thin (I have now put on a stone so around 11stone at the minute, but still trying to get back to 10 stone) but I guess I am never going to be happy, whatever I get down too... I thought I would be really happy at that weight, but I wasn't really.... sorry this doesn't answer your question but I can definately see your dilemma...

this is why i asked for you guys to comment and straight away you are the same as I am thinking, I am never really going to be happy due to the excess skin

 

[JosieDelonge]

Without trying to offend, maybe it's not your body that needs help now but your mind?

Do you think some sort of image therapy would help you to shut out the 19stone you and start to see you as being the person you see in the mirror?

It is a big move to be able to say goodbye to your life as a big person and to move on to your new slimmer life.

 

[Izzysmommy]

Hi
Ive had 5 kids so i know the flabby skin problem...lol ive lost lodas weight befor eand this is sort of why i put it all back on, it looks better a little padded out...lol nuts.

I think that if you was to drop another 1/2 stone to stone would you honestly be happier, the skin would still be there, affecting the choices and sizes of clothes you buy, which is probably why you dont see yourslf as a thin person (which you are yay!!), youve done so well, hope you feel at peace with whatever you decide xx

 

[snuggle69]

Without trying to offend, maybe it's not your body that needs help now but your mind?

Do you think some sort of image therapy would help you to shut out the 19stone you and start to see you as being the person you see in the mirror?

It is a big move to be able to say goodbye to your life as a big person and to move on to your new slimmer life.

I think that maybe a lot of it is my mind. And I do need to say goodbye to the old me, I wonder if there is anything available to help with that?

The hospital consultant has told me that no matter how much weight I lose the floppy skin will still be there and will still weigh around a stone possibly more, which is guess adds to my dilema as without that right now I would weigh 10 stone and not 11....My top half is perfect and I am happy with it just the rest that isnt right!

 

[cocktailprincess]

The question of whether you look too thin is not one that can be answered by people who knew you bigger. My family make these comments to me all the time yet I still have a BMI which is overweight and am a size 12/14- yet to hear them going on I am practically skeletal and looking ill!!!!

In my own head I always try and think "if a stranger on the street saw me for the first time today, would they think I was too thin?"- the answer is obviously NO.

People have become used to the large you, and the new you is a shock to them- and sadly some jealous people would have preferred the bigger you because it made them feel more comfortable about THEIR body.

I am not saying that you should carry on OR that you should stop- just that other people's comments should not be taken at face value

Good luck with your decision

xxxxx

 

[Honeyoc]

The question of whether you look too thin is not one that can be answered by people who knew you bigger. My family make these comments to me all the time yet I still have a BMI which is overweight and am a size 12/14- yet to hear them going on I am practically skeletal and looking ill!!!!

In my own head I always try and think "if a stranger on the street saw me for the first time today, would they think I was too thin?"- the answer is obviously NO.

People have become used to the large you, and the new you is a shock to them- and sadly some jealous people would have preferred the bigger you because it made them feel more comfortable about THEIR body.

I am not saying that you should carry on OR that you should stop- just that other people's comments should not be taken at face value

Good luck with your decision

xxxxx

You took the words right out of my mouth CP!

 

[louisedan]

i've heard of asthmatic people having surgery. Is it because its what they call cosmetic and thats why its risky?

 

[Terrycb]

Snuggle, there is definitely help out there if you want to explore the psychological issues. You should be able to get a referral from your GP for counselling/therapy which would help you look at things from a different angle. Some GP's have a counsellor attached to their surgery. It's worth considering. x

 

[avisk]

If you were addicted, you wouldn't be asking us. Addicts are normally in denial about their addiction. So no, you aren't.

I would agree with what other people have said above. Also, it is quite usual for people to look rather gaunt around the face and neck when they lose a lot of weight. After a while this look will soften and not be so noticeable. I am sure that people mean well when they say they are worried about you - everyone knows someone, or knows of someone, who has suffered from anorexia and it is a horrible disease. But if you are following a SW plan properly, then you must be eating well - why not write out a food diary to show people what you are eating?

You set your target, not your consultant, as long as the target you pick would not be unhealthily low for your height. The weight range in the SW booklet "Choose Success" shows a healthy range for 5'6" as being roughly 9 to 11 stone, so dropping your target to 10 stone would appear to be just fine. Why does your consultant not think it is a good idea? She ought to give you a reason.

 

[snuggle69]

Thanks guys for all your advice so far, as you can see and yes they are terrible I got my son to take a couple of pics tonight, I am not fading away by any means and seeing them makes me more certain I still need to lose that last stone.

 

[snuggle69]

i've heard of asthmatic people having surgery. Is it because its what they call cosmetic and thats why its risky?

It is due to it being cosmetic, I have had surgery for emergency procedures previously and had a lot of problems with my asthma afterwards therefore they say its to high risk for something that isnt life threatening, which I have accepted

 

[moomintrolljen]

You look fab Snuggles - healthy and happy to me x

 

[snuggle69]

Thanks hun, I wasnt happy having my pic taken though lol

 

[Loopeylou]

Your family have seen a huge change and to them they have concerns how far you may take this. You look fab is your pictures, I'd be happy to look like that at goal thats for sure
Your at the top of your BMI so still healthy to take it a bit lower if you can and if thats what YOU want.....we'll support you all the way hunny
xx