Help please

[Law Ram]

I dont know where to post this but I am feeling really down about my weight at the moment.
Today I noticed how big I actually am and I feel horrid
I am a size 22/ Mens 44 Jeans and this time last year I was a size 38.

I dont know what to do cause everywhere I read people who think they are big aren't and I would do anything to be there size!

I just want to cry tonight about it. I just need some help massively

 

[babytreetrunk89]

Hi well if you need help/support you have come to the right place. Im sorry your feeling so down at the moment but by sharing it with others shows you are ready to make change

There is an introductions thread if you want to Introduce yourself on there either way we are all here to help

Are you following any plan? Personally I do slimming world and I love it

Welcome to minimins .
Brittany xxx

Sent from my GT-I9195 using MiniMins.com mobile app

 

[Law Ram]

Im going to go next Wednesday after work. Slightly scared but if they can help me...

 

[cafwinjacks]

Hi!
Good luck with your journey. I agree with the others don't look at others and compare.
If you join a plan like slimming world it's great for support (and in here too!).
Can I also suggest if you combine exercise too you take measurements too. Sometimes when I feel down after not losing much I measure my waist to see how far I've come.
Good luck.

Sent from my HTC One using MiniMins.com mobile app

 

[RachelJane]

Hi Law Ram (I'm intrigued by your name!) - like others have said, you're in the right place for support. Everyone always rallies round whenever anyone has posted feeling low as we all know the feeling only too well for one reason or another! It's horrid when you get to that rock-bottom moment when you look in a mirror and hate what you see, whether you hate the fact that you're 10 stones overweight or 1 stone overweight. And yes, it's hard not to compare successes and statistics! I'm surrounded (in real life) by friends who weigh a skinny 9 1/2 stone and lament that 'extra' half stone that makes them feel so fat. It makes me want to get my belly out and shout "No, THIS is fat, you skinny *****!!"
But I also know that at 14st 8lbs, although I was the biggest I'd ever been and none of my clothes fitted and I felt hideous and miserable, there were plenty of people here who wanted desperately to be that weight and probably hated me for saying I felt fat. And that, at 13 stones now, I feel skinny and amazing, even though I know logically I'm still 2.5 stones overweight 'on the charts'. It's taken me a long time to be able to start putting it all into perspective.
Can I suggest a slightly controversial mental exercise? Have a look through the forum (in the weight loss sections rather than the exercise section) and focus on the posts and stories by people who are at a much higher weight than you. Have a look particularly at the positive, happy posts from those who have successfully achieved great weight losses from, say, 22 stones to 18, or 18 stones to 16. Ignore any posts that are negative, or from people at a lower weight. Just as a one-off exercise I mean, not permanently They are the people who are striving to be your weight.
Maybe also try some self-affirming techniques to begin to raise your self esteem? My favourite one is to add the words 'but it doesn't matter' (in my head or out loud) whenever I have a negative thought. Like, 'I was going to go for a walk today but it's raining... but it doesn't matter, I'll go anyway!' or 'I'm feeling so fat today... but it doesn't matter because I've joined Minimims and next month I'll be less fat!' Sounds corny but it does start to become a habit and it works!
I'm looking forward to following your journey to health and happiness.

 

[Law Ram]

Thank you so much everyone for your support, its lovely to have some

My best friend supports me too but he lives 200 miles away and it would have be awesome if we lived close and could exercise together.

I started my fitness dvd today. Could only do 15 mins but I LOVED the boxercise bits. I know what I will be doing a lot of

Slimming world on Wednesday, at least then I get a good idea of my weight and then can work from there.

I dont think its the eating that is the problem, its the exercise. I am thinking maybe 15 mins in the morning (wake me up and be less like the shrek I am in the morning) 20 mins when I get home from work.

I wish I could do some on my lunch at work cause I eat and then get bored!

 

[RachelJane]

Good luck with Slimming World on Wednesday, hopefully you'll make another group of supportive friends to add to the ones you have on here now!

I have to be straight with you about the food vs. exercise thing though, anyone who feels they are overweight through lack of exercise rather than diet is likely to be in denial of the amount they are over-eating. I don't mean to cause offence by saying that, but it was denial that caused my own weight problems for many, many years.

Studies have shown that the majority of people under-estimate their food intake, often by a high percentage. The best thing I ever did for my diet was to keep a very honest food diary using my phone camera. I made myself take a photo of EVERYTHING I ate over a week, even the mouthful of dinner I 'tested' whilst cooking and the bite of my daughter's donut. I didn't show it to anyone else, it was just for my own benefit. I had been to the doctor the week before to get my thyroid tested as I was convinced I was eating around 1600 cals a day and still gaining weight. When I worked out my calories at the end of my 'food diary' week I had been eating an average of 3,000 calories a day.

Google 'basal metabolic rate' and find an online calculator to work out the amount of calories you need per day to maintain your current weight without adding any activity. Mine is 1560, so if I slept all night and watched tv on the sofa all day, I'd still need to eat that many calories to do stuff like breathe and digest. In reality, normal everyday activities like walking around the house/office, putting the washing out, having a shower, etc. increase your BMR by about x1.2 (so mine was around 1870 before I took up running).

The amount of energy in a pound of fat is around 3,500 calories. So if I wanted to lose a pound a week through diet only, I would have to reduce my intake to 1370 cals a day without doing any exercise. Not too much of a lifestyle change there, just one less sandwich or pie.

However, if I wanted to keep eating my 1870 cals a day and lose a pound through exercise only, I would have to walk at a moderate pace for two hours every day, or run hard for 1 hour, or cycle for an hour and a half. Every day. The problem? All that exercise makes you HUNGRY!! Most people that take up any type of exercise programme expecting to lose weight end up eating more without realising it, and scuppering any efforts to slim. Exercise has made me healthier and fitter and more toned, but it's keeping an honest calorie count and eating less that's making me drop the pounds. (And yes, both are really hard. But being overweight is harder.)

Take a look around at the 'slim' or 'fit' people in the world and you'll find that very few of them are that way because they spend hours in the gym or the aerobics studio. They might be more 'active' in general than you currently are, but they're probably not spending hours burning off excess calories. They're just not eating them in the first place.

I hope all this doesn't sound harsh, I really do want to help and support you (and have your support in return I hope!)

 

[RachelJane]

p.s. what do you do for work? Can you go for a walk during your lunch hour?

 

[Law Ram]

The reason I say its not what I eat is because I dont eat crap anymore. I used to and used to eat alot of it but now it just tastes the same. Give me a great big bowl of salad over that any day!

I have cut down the portion size (sometimes I give myself some more lettuce than I should but its better than rubbish!)

I think I have my hand in what my eating is like, might be able to be improved, I dont know but exercise is my main thing.

I suppose Slimming world will be able to help me out with my eating and they can see what I eat

I work as a Tester, so my job is sitting down. I feel walking is a bit boring and that I want to "push myself" if that makes sense?

I have set myself up 150km in 30 days on the exercise bike. Only 5km a day, which is about 15 mins in the morning.

 

[RachelJane]

Sounds like you've already made a great start, salad is something I have grown to love as well
Bootsdiets are doing a free 7 day trial on their online food and exercise diary as well as calculating all the BMR stuff, I'd recommend that to anyone wanting to track their efforts (it's nice to have a journal to look back on too, to inspire yourself with how much you've improved!)