Hi everyone! I'm new to this forum, but not this place in life. After two pregnancies in 4 years, wherein weight clings to me like wings to a fly-strip, leaving me with a minimum of 50 lbs to shed. I'm currently breastfeeding (and a robust milk supply for my beloved baby is my top priority) and, in my experience (and contrary to what the media and Hollywooders say), pregnancy weight does NOT magically "melt off" with lactation. In fact, I feel more compelled to eat than when I was preggers (or all other times, for that matter -- and I have had various eating compulsions for a long time!). Sweets are like my heroin; I'm a junkie. Take tonight for example: I found myself realizing I had eaten very few sweets today and was doing pretty good, overall. Instead of basking in that pride, basically the next thing I knew I had a (big) box of Junior Mints in my hand "just to eat a few in celebration" and/or reward. Of course, it was curtains from there -- now the entire box is gone (that's 16 pieces x 3 ... almost 50 Jr Mints, down my hatch). And because my stomach still has some of my preggo issues (sensitiveness, indigestion and heartburn/reflux -- specifically, SWEETS (still) cause painful heartburn, just as they did when I was preggers...tho not as quite as acute), I end up suffering several times over. In short, I'd say I have huge issues with will power, even though I know the craving is my enemy on so many levels. I end up suffering with guilt AND esophageal misery (heartburn).
So now I've opened with my nightly maladies...sorry for the deluge. Here's a bit about the rest of me (assuming anyone is still reading): I'm married (7 years now!) and am an ecstatic second-time mom (baby G recently turned 5 months!). I've had weight issues since, well, since I was born. (My beloved Grams loved to retell how thrilled my parents were to finally get a girl - "...and a nice fat one, too!") But those lifelong issues took a shocking turn for the worse during pregnancy. In short, I gained roughly 75 lbs during my first, but that was 4 years ago - when my metabolism was 4 years younger - and I gained about the same during my most recent pregnancy (but I started out ~20 lbs heavier, so I guess I have a net gain of more like 90 lbs this go around (=70 lbs to lose?!)...a realization which makes it all the nicer!). I am insanely in love with my children and live to be with them - I am so grateful and feel so privileged to be their mom, and I absolutely LOVE being the age I am as their mom! Clearly I'm not a 'young' mom but I believe we're only as old as we feel/act (tho this extra weight feels like it's aging me!), and as much as I want my PRE-pregnancy body back, it's much more important for me to be healthy. I feel anxiety when I think of each extra pound in terms of tick marks removing days off my lifespan -- there is no option, I absolutely MUST do everything in my power to be as healthy and live as long as I'm able, in order to remain in THEIR lives as long as possible. Yet, I still practice my art of the mini-binge (w/o an accompanying purge, of any sort) even as said binging renders me awash in stomach bile and suffering accompaniments. I'm a smart enough cookie (oh, I love cookies!), but I can't seem wrap my brain around exactly HOW this combined motivation, physical discomfort and addict-like guilt is just NOT ENOUGH to stop me from opening that box of whatev-uh goodie I come up with....
So I find myself here -- a believer in the power of kindred spirit's (and a champion of similar, online forums) -- praying I'll find shelter, support and strength to save myself from myself.
So here's to triathelte / tiny dancer / super model in each of us -- regardless of how much flesh stands between her and the outside world. Let's celebrate being beautiful now, as we are TODAY, while embracing and embarck on the journey toward the visualization and attainment of the best possible (and IMPROVED!) version of ourselves!
Muah,
JAR
So now I've opened with my nightly maladies...sorry for the deluge. Here's a bit about the rest of me (assuming anyone is still reading): I'm married (7 years now!) and am an ecstatic second-time mom (baby G recently turned 5 months!). I've had weight issues since, well, since I was born. (My beloved Grams loved to retell how thrilled my parents were to finally get a girl - "...and a nice fat one, too!") But those lifelong issues took a shocking turn for the worse during pregnancy. In short, I gained roughly 75 lbs during my first, but that was 4 years ago - when my metabolism was 4 years younger - and I gained about the same during my most recent pregnancy (but I started out ~20 lbs heavier, so I guess I have a net gain of more like 90 lbs this go around (=70 lbs to lose?!)...a realization which makes it all the nicer!). I am insanely in love with my children and live to be with them - I am so grateful and feel so privileged to be their mom, and I absolutely LOVE being the age I am as their mom! Clearly I'm not a 'young' mom but I believe we're only as old as we feel/act (tho this extra weight feels like it's aging me!), and as much as I want my PRE-pregnancy body back, it's much more important for me to be healthy. I feel anxiety when I think of each extra pound in terms of tick marks removing days off my lifespan -- there is no option, I absolutely MUST do everything in my power to be as healthy and live as long as I'm able, in order to remain in THEIR lives as long as possible. Yet, I still practice my art of the mini-binge (w/o an accompanying purge, of any sort) even as said binging renders me awash in stomach bile and suffering accompaniments. I'm a smart enough cookie (oh, I love cookies!), but I can't seem wrap my brain around exactly HOW this combined motivation, physical discomfort and addict-like guilt is just NOT ENOUGH to stop me from opening that box of whatev-uh goodie I come up with....
So I find myself here -- a believer in the power of kindred spirit's (and a champion of similar, online forums) -- praying I'll find shelter, support and strength to save myself from myself.
So here's to triathelte / tiny dancer / super model in each of us -- regardless of how much flesh stands between her and the outside world. Let's celebrate being beautiful now, as we are TODAY, while embracing and embarck on the journey toward the visualization and attainment of the best possible (and IMPROVED!) version of ourselves!
Muah,
JAR
