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Help with giving advice? Or butt out?

S: 16st0lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st12lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st5lb(2.23%)
Hi i am an at home weigher, and am on Slimming world with a friend and her daughter. Both are classed as extremly obese. Friend is 5'1 and 21 stone and daughter is 9 years old, 4'9 and 13 stone.
Anyway, whenever I go over to their house, the daughter is always eating biscuits, sandwiches, pop. And my friend always seems to let slip that she has a treat or a binge. I feel that when im there im always nagging them. I am by no means perfect on SW, but I do keep track of syns and non free foods and am happy with my steady weighloss, even if its been a bit slower.
My point is this, shall I just leave them to screw it all up, and carry on with weigh ins on my own. or should i stick with the nagging to try and get them to lose some weight with me. Their weighloss has been very poor, one on , one off that sort of thing.
I was an overweight child, not as much as this child in question , but I know how hard it is dealing with this with other school kids and constant name calling. I just want her to see that she can change and that she can beat the bullies.
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Silver Member
G: 10st7lb
It is good that you are concerned about them especially the little girl, but if they have all the information then there is very little you can do, it is up to them to follow the plan. If the mother isn't following the plan - then the chances of the daughter doing so are very slim at the moment.

You could try saying something along the lines of you are concerned for their health (carefully worded of course, you probably have a good idea of how to word things).

What it all boils down to though is that it is ultimately their choice, hard as that may be to see.

Sorry if that sounds harsh or anything.
S: 16st0lb C: 15st9lb G: 12st12lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 0st5lb(2.23%)
Yeah you are spot on there. I think they will just have to make their own ways and Im just gonna carry on with what Im doing. Just makes me sad to see a girl go through what I went through.


Silver Member
G: 10st7lb
It is really sad I agree, but hopefully they will see how well you are doing and be encouraged to follow the plan that way.


Silver Member
S: 13st11lb C: 10st10lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 23.5 Loss: 3st1lb(22.28%)
yep, sad but true they have to find their own way, and hopefully when they see the pounds falling away from you they'll get on the wagon good and proper.

Do they do SW form home too? what about going to a group? the little girl will be free because of her age and sometimes the recognition from others spurs them on. We have a young lad comes with his parents to our class and he always gets a special mention and round of applause when he has a loss because its so hard for him.

Bless you for being such a good friend though and acknowledging how the little girl must feel from your own personal experience, have you tried to share those experiences with her?

good luck xx


Gold Member
S: 16st8lb C: 13st4.6lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 30.3 Loss: 3st3.4lb(19.57%)
I agree with what the others have said - i'ts down to them. I was an overweight child and it absolutely breaks my heart to see overweight kids with their parents buying them crap to eat all the time but there's nothing you can do.

Just keep going yourself (you're doing really well!) and hopefully your friend will take some inspiration from you for the sake of herself and her daughter.



Gold Member
I think you should let them do things their way as hard as it can be to watch especially with children. It used to hurt me when others said things to me however well meaning it was because my head wasn't in the right place to sort my body out and look after myself.
Maybe if you carry on they will see the benefits if weight loss rather than it becoming an issue between you and them.
I often would like to say to people "Stop! Don't eat that" etc but its their decision at the end of the day :(

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