HelsAngel's Super Angelic Food Diary (or not!)

[HelsAngel]

Now, despite the fact that we are the same heihgt, the last time I weighed 9st 8lbs people were asking if I had some sort of terminal illness - at that weight every bone juts out and my face is really sunken so it is clearly too light for me!

Having said that, we must all chose a weight which we feel OK with - I am a great believer in trusting yourself rather than scales and charts....... oh, unless you are someone like my silly sister who thinks 7 stone is too fat (she's an inch shorter than me) and still starves and purges herself regularly (she has had an eating disorder most of her adult life). She is 4 years older than me and people often mistake her for my MOTHER which does say something! I think I'd rather have a bit more meat on me and still regularly get mistaken for a woman in her late 30s or early 40s personally.

We can and will do this Hels - and you will look BEAUTIFUL in your wedding dress, of that I have no doubt. One of these days I'll post a photo of my wedding - I got married in purple and black leather and velvet and I went to the wedding on a trike!

Wow, that sounds awesome! Please post a picture, I'd love to see it.
I'm going a bit more traditional but I'm not having strapless. EVERY dress in the shop is strapless and all of the weddings I've been to in the last ten years have had strapless dresses. I do like them and on most people they look gorgeous but on me, I'd be constantly worried about overhang from my armpits or my back.

I'm going to post 2 pictures in a minute showing my before and afters from when I did WW before. Both of these pictures give me so much inspiration day to day so it won't hurt to have them on my diary.

You are absolutely right about older skinny people looking more aged than others. Fern Britton being a prime example and Vanessa Feltz too. Skinny older women have an unwell look about them. We all need a bit of chunk.

I have a friend very much like your sister. Always grabbing her 2 cm of loose skin and exclaiming how fat she is. She got a gobfull from me and never said anything after that!

 

[HelsAngel]

This is me before. I joined WW 4 months after this at 13 stone. That's my ex I'm with. I wad so self conscious then hence the left hand over my tummy trying to cover myself up. All of the photos I have of this time are the same.

 

[HelsAngel]

This one is me in June 2008, half a stone below target. Reckon about my target weight give or take a pound or two. I got so many compliments when I was like this, I can't understand how I ever let myself go back to 12 stone.

 

[Annya]

OK - go take a look at mine...... OMG!!!

 

[HelsAngel]

Saturday and Sunday were on plan, But I did have an 18 syn Subway and 3 Vodka Diet Cokes on Saturday so that’s probably blown me out of the water this week. Not forgetting my medicine. It should be clearing me out but seems to be working quite the opposite!
Tried red all last week and managed a 0.5lb. Going to go green this week I think. it's cheaper and much more convenient (not to mention less smelly for my colleagues without the fish!!)

Monday 13th Feb – Green - Changed to RED

Healthy A – 4 LC EL Tringles 1 cup of tea
Healthy A – Milk in tea (not complete Healthy A)
Healthy B – 4 Original Ryvita
Healthy B – 227g (less) Jacket Potato

1 Tea
Walkers French Fries 4 syns
4 ryvita
Cheese Triangles
(Had no fruit in unitl lunchtime!)
1 Diet Coke

Jacket potato
Lettuce
Grated Carrot
Red Pepper
Rocket
Red Cabbage
ICBINBL 2 tsps 2 syns

1 Diet Coke
1 Medicine (with one glass water)

0% Total
Banana
Blue Berries
Honey 1 syn

Plums - 2 so far, could be more!!

My brother exchanged contracts yesterday so although I was at work it was a bit of a mish mash for dinner. Mum went to get a massive bag of chips from the chippy while I stayed at home and cooked fish fingers, beans and spaghetti hoops for 8 of us for dinner. I refrained from most of it to be honest, had 5 FF (7.5 syns), 2 slices of bread (8 syns), ICBINB Light (2 syns), a handful of chips (8 syns) Loads of pickled onions, gherkins and a tbsp on Extra Light Mayo (1 syn). TOTALLY off plan but also a lot better than it "could" have been. I'm not happy with myself but when the family (including my brothers family) are all running around like blue ass flies, the last thing I could start flapping around with was a seperate dinner.

It's done now. I'm hoping to claw back some syns over the rest of the week. Free Foods only and minimal syns. If I lose this week, it's the medicine!!! If I gain this week (which I'm expecting now!) it's the chips!

Total Syns 33.5. Meh. Even the thought if it makes me feel sick!!

 

[HelsAngel]

Tuesday 14th February - Green

Healthy A – 250ml SS Milk in tea
Healthy A –
Healthy B – 6 Wholegrain Crackerbread (Where have these been all my life!)
Healthy B –

Tea
Peppermint Tea
Diet Coke
Banana
Blueberries
Total 0% Honey 1 syn

1 ultra mini piece of Brownie made by my American colleague for Valentine’s day. I’ll count the syns at about 6-8 even though the piece I had was about the size of a £2 coin!!

Salad - Lettuce, Cucumber, Carrot, Red Cabbage, Gherkins No Dressing.
Crackerbread
Tea
1 Medicine


I’m just sitting here at work feeling a bit sick. I’m convinced it’s because of the tiny brownie I had this morning. I get to the point now that if I have a “bad” thing, I feel really guilty about it and then I feel sick. I’m going to go out for a quick walk at lunchtime to the shop. Hopefully, it’ll make me feel a little better. I can’t treat myself like this, realistically I can’t live off free food and superfree food and nothing else forever. That said, if the bad things make me feel this bad, at least I might think twice about them in the future. I’m relaxed about my eating plan, I’m happy (because I have to be) about my losses so far and the brownie, so far, is within syns.

 

[HelsAngel]

Slimming World is the farthest thing from my mind right now.

My beautiful friend Kim passed away last night. Rest in peace, gorgeous girl. I will miss you and think of you always.

 

[Where there's a will.....]

I'm so sorry for your loss :-(

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[HelsAngel]

Thank you, Will. xx

 

[Annya]

Hi Hels - sorry I been away in London for the past couple of days and unable to get on to the site to check and post.

I am so, so, very sorry to hear about your dear friend Kim........ may she rest in peace.

Have some cyberhugs from your good cyber friend Annya

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

 

[HelsAngel]

Thank you, Annya. Appreciate the hugs.

I'm just so frustrated about it all. She'd had the accident in December, survived it all against the odds, had the brain scans saying there was nothing there and no response, right up to up to last week when she was miraculously reading flash cards to look up and look down and could answer yes/no questions using this method which was more than we ever hoped for.
Her brain was so damaged in parts caused by the stroke/blood clot that it couldn't work to regulate her temperature causing a massive seizure on Valentine's night. I still can't quite believe it.

I just hope now that she didn't know anything, that she wasn't locked in and scared. It's better for her now, she'd have hated it like that. It's the worst for her family and friends who are now left without her. Her parents, her older sister and her best friend (and mine) Lucinda are left with a massive Kim shaped hole in their lives and we all know that life will forever be a little bit duller without Kim in it.

I'm not really very good at things like this. I never know what to say or do. I kind of live in denial about most things. Kim being the perfect example. At one point I was refusing to believe that the accident had even happened. I kind of just blocked it out and pretended everything was ok. I think I'm the same now. If I don't think about it, it might not have happened.

Anyway, I've not gone mad food wise. Mainly eaten things that are convenient and easy. Not eaten a great deal to be honest. Don't really care either! I won't use this as an excuse to fall off the wagon but I will use this as a kick up the arse that life is too bloody short to stress so much about how much I weigh, how fast I lose and how many inches in circumference my left thigh is!!

 

[HelsAngel]

Friday 17th Feb - Rainbow Day

1 x Krispy Kreme Doughnut.

The end!!!

AND it was bloody lovely. I'll regret it later but right now, it's amazing!

 

[Annya]

Sounds like me and 3 Pernod and (diet) lemonades at the weekend!

Boy do I regret them now, but they were FANTASTIC at the time :-D

We can't be angelic all the time Hels - enjoy and move on is what I say. I will have to swallow my totally underserved 4lb gain this week, but what can you do?????

 

[HelsAngel]

Monday 20th February - GREEN

A- 250ml SS Milk
A-
B- 2 WM Toast
B-

2 tea
Toast
ICBINB 2 syns
Gherkins
Plums
Diet coke

Jacket Pot
Spag hoops
Cucumber
Gherkin
Red Cabbage
Tomato
Marmite

Mugshot Chicken

 

[HelsAngel]

I've been keeping a paper diary this week. I text my consultant on Tuesday and told her that I'm going to be recording absolutely everything that I eat and drink. It's a 100% HONEST food diary. If I cheat, I'm only cheating myself, there's no point at all. I've set up a little exercise book with all parts colour coded Free/SF/A/B/Syns and I'm going to hand it in every Thursday for my consultant to look through. That way, I can have some kind of explanation as to why this is going so bloody slowly. If I'm not 100% or I've had something naughty, it's going in the diary anyway. EVERYTHING. I'll try and keep up with this diary too. The actual being 100% part doesn't phase me at all. I've been doing it properly since day one with the exception of Christmas and the occasional meal here or meal there. Since Christmas is when I've struggled. The same 2.5lbs that I lost and gained 4 times and then lost 3 weeks ago, followed by a half off week after (didn't weight last week because I was busy with the girls and Kim stuff) has come back AGAIN. I deserve to gain, I hold my hands up to that. I just wish it wasn't so much. Reckon I'll end up with a 3 or 4 on tonight. The worst thing about the gain is that everytime I do it, lose it gain it, I switch back and forth into a new stone bracket. Currently in the late tens, a gain would put me in the early elevens and it's a massive psychological barrier that I thought I'd overcome. Obviously not, still only WI will tell. I feel about 4lbs heavier if that means anything!!

I'm only posting in a few threads now, I still subscribe to loads but some of them are absolutely driving me insane. I know this contradicts everything I've just said above but being a slow loser because you're not 100% on plan all the time is not being a slow loser, that's being a cheater. Justifying it by saying that it will come back next week does not help. Being on plan 100% and losing 4lbs in a week is following the plan and normal. To be honest, I wish I wasn't a slow loser. I'd love to be able to stick to plan and lose 4lbs a week. Hell, 2 would do me!!!

In fact, I'm drawing a line. All of my previous efforts are now out of the window. I'm starting from scratch. Here is the line. I'm NOT going to be a slow loser all the time, I'm going to be a speedy shifter. I'm going to cut down my portions, drink more water, move more, get out my Jillian DVD (I hate her!!), stop snacking on fruit at my desk just because it's there (although if you're going to snack on anything, I thought fruit would be ok!). I'm going for it. I will lose faster than before, I will plan and batch cook in advance.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Feel better now. Pep talk to myself complete. ON IT!!

 

[HelsAngel]

Wednesday 22nd February
Extra Easy

Healthy A - 125ml SS Milk/3 LC ELF Cheese Triangles
Healthy B - 60g WM bread

2 teas
1 diet coke
Toast and spread (2 syns)
2 Plums

Jacket Potato
Lettuce, Gherkins, Red Cabbage
Diet Coke x 3
Peppermint Tea
1 Mini Slice of Large Beef Sizzler Pizza (Syns Online said 8.5 syns) but my slice was not an even equal slice and was really small, counting 8 anyway as don't want to feel like I'm cheating.

Pork Chop (Fat Removed)
Roast Potatoes
Carrots, Cabbage (followed by Mike's leftover Green Beans and carrots)
Gravy, apple sauce 3 syns
2 teas 1 syn
2 oaty pancakes - Just testing them really but I ate them so I'm counting them! (they're free using a healthy B, mix made 12 so 1/2 syn each) They very nice actually. Will make them again. They just take so long!!!

Total Syns 15

 

[Annya]

I've been keeping a paper diary this week. I text my consultant on Tuesday and told her that I'm going to be recording absolutely everything that I eat and drink. It's a 100% HONEST food diary. If I cheat, I'm only cheating myself, there's no point at all. I've set up a little exercise book with all parts colour coded Free/SF/A/B/Syns and I'm going to hand it in every Thursday for my consultant to look through. That way, I can have some kind of explanation as to why this is going so bloody slowly. If I'm not 100% or I've had something naughty, it's going in the diary anyway. EVERYTHING. I'll try and keep up with this diary too. The actual being 100% part doesn't phase me at all. I've been doing it properly since day one with the exception of Christmas and the occasional meal here or meal there. Since Christmas is when I've struggled. The same 2.5lbs that I lost and gained 4 times and then lost 3 weeks ago, followed by a half off week after (didn't weight last week because I was busy with the girls and Kim stuff) has come back AGAIN. I deserve to gain, I hold my hands up to that. I just wish it wasn't so much. Reckon I'll end up with a 3 or 4 on tonight. The worst thing about the gain is that everytime I do it, lose it gain it, I switch back and forth into a new stone bracket. Currently in the late tens, a gain would put me in the early elevens and it's a massive psychological barrier that I thought I'd overcome. Obviously not, still only WI will tell. I feel about 4lbs heavier if that means anything!!

I hear you Hels. I have been losing and gaining the same half stone since August last year and IT HAS TO STOP! I have changed over to the shakes and calorie counting as I really feel I need something more structured. I will graze on fruit all day long because I am "allowed to", but it clearly affects my losses so I have decided that I can't have carte blanche with food, which means there's little point in being on SW. The reason I chose the plan in the first place is because of the claim that you can eat until you are full, snack on superfree and still lose.......... well the plain and simple fact is I CAN'T :sigh: and if I am going to have to do portion control then I might as well just calorie count.

I'm only posting in a few threads now, I still subscribe to loads but some of them are absolutely driving me insane.

Ditto! I have cut mine back to the slow losers (and that's gonna go soon before I let rip on someone!) and your diary now - that's my lot I have a trundle round the SlimFast one, but it's not telling me anything I don't already know and there's already one person on there winding me up. She lost 15LBS in January and is complaining because she's only another 5lbs in February thus far Me, you and many others I suspect would KILL for that sort of weight loss..... over 2lbs/week and still not happy FFS!

I know this contradicts everything I've just said above but being a slow loser because you're not 100% on plan all the time is not being a slow loser, that's being a cheater. Justifying it by saying that it will come back next week does not help. Being on plan 100% and losing 4lbs in a week is following the plan and normal. To be honest, I wish I wasn't a slow loser. I'd love to be able to stick to plan and lose 4lbs a week. Hell, 2 would do me!!!

Again, I hear you I jumped into the SL thread earlier and jumped out again PDQ before my fingers got the better of me. What are you doing in the SLG if you are losing 4lbs/week - most tortoises are ecstatic if they lose 4lbs/month!!

In fact, I'm drawing a line. All of my previous efforts are now out of the window. I'm starting from scratch. Here is the line.

Yep, I drew mine last week and feel very liberated beacuse of it. Just hope it 1) lasts and 2) shows on the scales

I'm NOT going to be a slow loser all the time, I'm going to be a speedy shifter. I'm going to cut down my portions, drink more water, move more, get out my Jillian DVD (I hate her!!),

Ha-ha, me too

stop snacking on fruit at my desk just because it's there (although if you're going to snack on anything, I thought fruit would be ok!).

Not for me clearly Hels.........It seems on SW I can't get away with snacks at all... not even superfree ones!

I'm going for it. I will lose faster than before, I will plan and batch cook in advance.

Oh yes.......... hallelujah!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Feel better now. Pep talk to myself complete. ON IT!!

Oh yes indeedeeee

 

[HelsAngel]

Thanks for that, Annya. Even reading it deserves a round of applause.:clap: I just kind of typed and typed what was in my head!!
Knowing that there's even one person out there that understands and goes through the same stuff is enough for me. Thank you for being my cyber friend. :thankyou:

I skim read in SL now. I wrote this massive note a few days ago saying basically "FFS, get out of our thread you charlatans, you have no idea what being a slow loser feels like. Stick to plan for a week of your life and go and join the other people on this thread that piss me off with their takeaway losses. Stop infiltrating our group and I hope you gain all that you lost last week". I deleted it pretty sharpish because it's not me to be a total b1tch (a bit of one clearly!) and I didn't want to take away from the fact the someone (if not 4 people!) had had a really good loss. I'm not bitter about the losers that rack up 4lbers IF they're on plan. I envy them but I don't hate them for it.

I nearly PM'd you about it actually but then thought I was just privately being nasty and it's not nice. At least as this is a public forum, I'm not hiding my thoughts.

Anyway, I'm ranting again. Just had a lunch of purely Superfree and Healthy Extra's. No free food for me until tonight. I cut my portion down too. Yep, much less lettuce and cucumber than normal!

 

[HelsAngel]

Thursday 23rd Feb. Can be either plan yet, doesn’t matter but I suspect it’ll be green.

A – 250ml SS Milk
A – 5 Laughing Cow Light Triangles (LCL)
B – 6 Wholegrain Crackerbreads (only had 5 though!)
B – 30g Cheddar

Tea x 2
Banana
3 dried cranberries 0.5 syn
Peppermint Tea
Diet Coke
Tea

Water
5 Crackerbread
5 cheese triangles
Lettuce, Cucumber, Gherkins, Red Cabbage
Peppermint Tea
2 Plums

3 more plums (starving after WI)

Superspeed soup (don't find it particularly speedy but I do enjoy it over pasta with a bit of cheese!)
Pasta
30g cheese (was going to be 45g of reduced fat but it has gone off!! Bloody WW cheese!)
Mushrooms
Had originally thought I'd add the mushrooms to bulk it out so I could have less pasta but Mum had made the pasta for me when I got in so it ended up being a LOT and of course, I ate it all. THIS is, I'm quite sure, my SW problem.

10 Maltesers 25g - 6.5 syns
Diet Coke
Tea

Total Syns 7 (and to be honest, I only had the maltesters because I'd only had a half syn all day)

 

[Annya]

Thanks for that, Annya. Even reading it deserves a round of applause.:clap: I just kind of typed and typed what was in my head!!
Knowing that there's even one person out there that understands and goes through the same stuff is enough for me. Thank you for being my cyber friend. :thankyou:

Don't mention it - thanks for being mine too


I skim read in SL now. I wrote this massive note a few days ago saying basically "FFS, get out of our thread you charlatans, you have no idea what being a slow loser feels like. Stick to plan for a week of your life and go and join the other people on this thread that piss me off with their takeaway losses. Stop infiltrating our group and I hope you gain all that you lost last week".

You typed what I have been thinking

I deleted it pretty sharpish because it's not me to be a total b1tch (a bit of one clearly!) and I didn't want to take away from the fact the someone (if not 4 people!) had had a really good loss. I'm not bitter about the losers that rack up 4lbers IF they're on plan. I envy them but I don't hate them for it.

But it hardly makes them SLOW losers Hels. There are folks like you and me who lose wee teeny amounts or don't lose at all even if they are 100% and gain with the slightest misdemeanour. To me that is what defines a slow loser.......... but may be I am wrong, who knows?

I nearly PM'd you about it actually but then thought I was just privately being nasty and it's not nice. At least as this is a public forum, I'm not hiding my thoughts.

You can pm me any time you like Hels. I have ranted and raved off forum to Bev (Pommette) enough over the past couple of months

Anyway, I'm ranting again. Just had a lunch of purely Superfree and Healthy Extra's. No free food for me until tonight. I cut my portion down too. Yep, much less lettuce and cucumber than normal!

Be careful with the lettuce Hels - you'll pack on the pounds eating that stuff :8855::8855: