Well I had a bad weekend with regards food so much so I have decided to go back on the packs until my hols on the 4th Aug.
So since a major binge on sat I woke sunday and I have been back on 4 packs a day. I think I am in Ketosis now as I feel OK and not hungry. I was so angry with myself.
This is my thought record
What happened?
I went to my cousins for a picnic with the kids, I took a healthy salad and there was lots of cake type items from Thomas the bakers and cadbury chocolate fingers etc.... I also had two cheese and tomato rolls.
I ate all these things then later on in the evening when we decided to stay for tea and the kids had fish and chips I had to call in the supermarket (I had drank 1 glass of wine) for some cottage cheese for my salad and I bought 85% cocoa chocolate, bar of white chocolate and 3 freddo frogs for the kids (I ate them all). Everything I ate was in secret
What were my most important thoughts?
Its not fair everyone else can eat all this nice stuff and I cant
I want it
It looks so tasty
Sod it one wont hurt
I've been bad now so I might aswell continue
No one will ever know
How I felt
Desperate
Rebelious
Sly
Tempted
Cheat
Greedy
What I did
I ate all the things I should not have
Evidence for hot thought
I have eaten things before and not put on weight, everyone says I look good even though I have put on a couple of lbs
Evidence against hot thought
I will have consumed well over 3000cals for the day far more than my body needs. I will put on weight as this is why I had 6 st to loose and needed to do LL in the first place.
Secret eating is not the way forward and someone will know I will and it wont be long before others notice if I carry on like this
More realistic thoughts
Chocolate is not a nutritional food and I do not need it. I did not need the sandwiches as I had had a lovely salad. The cakes did smell nice but I do not need them and I would be better having a yogurt or a piece of fruit or even a pack.
How I feel now
I am back in control as I have gone back onto packs for 2 weeks before my holidays to pull me back to where I want to be.
How I might behave now
I will not go in a supermarket after having had a glass of wine or if it is near a meal time. I will not buy chocolate. I need to be more prepared for events making sure there is plenty of food that I can eat so if I do feel hungry I am not stuck with only unhealthy options
Where is my head at? Well I have been having fat thoughts a lot and I have probably gained only a few lbs but I was restricting myself so I could loose a few lbs for my hols so that when I was away I could enjoy the holiday of course eating healthy options where possible (I am a veggie and I really dont see me finding much cottage cheese, quorn or tofu in Marbella) but not having to be so restrictive and be able to enjoy myself and not beat myself up if I have an extra glass of wine.
So I decided to do the packs before I went away otherwise I would be on them as soon as I get back for sure.
I am on week 7 of Management and intend to get back onto the management programme as soon as I return from holiday. I need to discuss with my LLC tonight what the best course of action is. Do I start back on week 7 when I get back? I really dont want to go back to week 1 of management.
I will master this and I guess we all have lapses. I have the willpower to stay abstinent for a month in Sri Lanka I achieved that so I should be able to achieve anything. I am not giving in to the rebelious child who if I get my hands on I will surely strangle LOL
Jo
So since a major binge on sat I woke sunday and I have been back on 4 packs a day. I think I am in Ketosis now as I feel OK and not hungry. I was so angry with myself.
This is my thought record
What happened?
I went to my cousins for a picnic with the kids, I took a healthy salad and there was lots of cake type items from Thomas the bakers and cadbury chocolate fingers etc.... I also had two cheese and tomato rolls.
I ate all these things then later on in the evening when we decided to stay for tea and the kids had fish and chips I had to call in the supermarket (I had drank 1 glass of wine) for some cottage cheese for my salad and I bought 85% cocoa chocolate, bar of white chocolate and 3 freddo frogs for the kids (I ate them all). Everything I ate was in secret
What were my most important thoughts?
Its not fair everyone else can eat all this nice stuff and I cant
I want it
It looks so tasty
Sod it one wont hurt
I've been bad now so I might aswell continue
No one will ever know
How I felt
Desperate
Rebelious
Sly
Tempted
Cheat
Greedy
What I did
I ate all the things I should not have
Evidence for hot thought
I have eaten things before and not put on weight, everyone says I look good even though I have put on a couple of lbs
Evidence against hot thought
I will have consumed well over 3000cals for the day far more than my body needs. I will put on weight as this is why I had 6 st to loose and needed to do LL in the first place.
Secret eating is not the way forward and someone will know I will and it wont be long before others notice if I carry on like this
More realistic thoughts
Chocolate is not a nutritional food and I do not need it. I did not need the sandwiches as I had had a lovely salad. The cakes did smell nice but I do not need them and I would be better having a yogurt or a piece of fruit or even a pack.
How I feel now
I am back in control as I have gone back onto packs for 2 weeks before my holidays to pull me back to where I want to be.
How I might behave now
I will not go in a supermarket after having had a glass of wine or if it is near a meal time. I will not buy chocolate. I need to be more prepared for events making sure there is plenty of food that I can eat so if I do feel hungry I am not stuck with only unhealthy options
Where is my head at? Well I have been having fat thoughts a lot and I have probably gained only a few lbs but I was restricting myself so I could loose a few lbs for my hols so that when I was away I could enjoy the holiday of course eating healthy options where possible (I am a veggie and I really dont see me finding much cottage cheese, quorn or tofu in Marbella) but not having to be so restrictive and be able to enjoy myself and not beat myself up if I have an extra glass of wine.
So I decided to do the packs before I went away otherwise I would be on them as soon as I get back for sure.
I am on week 7 of Management and intend to get back onto the management programme as soon as I return from holiday. I need to discuss with my LLC tonight what the best course of action is. Do I start back on week 7 when I get back? I really dont want to go back to week 1 of management.
I will master this and I guess we all have lapses. I have the willpower to stay abstinent for a month in Sri Lanka I achieved that so I should be able to achieve anything. I am not giving in to the rebelious child who if I get my hands on I will surely strangle LOL
Jo