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hey yall...

#1
Well, here's the news. As you've probably guessed I've been off the wagon. Oh there's lots of reasons/excuses behind it but it's all very tiring to go into so let me just say a lot of soul searching and mental beating ups have been going on.

I'm trying to turn the negatives into positives and think about what I've learned being away from the safety of LT.

It has actually been a very good time for me lately, I went back to uni having lost a fair bit of weight, I've been loving my classes and I've got some volunteer tutoring work that will help me get into the PGCE and finally -FINALLY become the English teacher I have always wanted to be. But of course being so close to achieving my dream has opened a lot of worm cans and brought a lot of insecurities rushing back to the surface. I know that doing LT and being in control of my life is what gave me the confidence to actually make these moves forward so I am back on today. I still have a lot of work to do inwardly so I don't expect the road ahead to be smooth but I do accept that I NEED LT to help me.

I haven't actually gained any weight which is a little weird so I've only set myself back in time. What's really weird is that, ten days ago at this weight and still on LT I felt AMAZING! I felt pretty and in control. Ten days off LT at the same weight and I feel HUGE and fat and ugly again. Which reveals a lot about how our mental image is vastly made up by how we live our lives, if that makes sense. It's psychological -our self image is NOT just numbers and BMI's. It's not just dress sizes. if we treat ourselves right, if we actively treat ourselves as if we deserve to be healthy and to feel good -we will!

Anyways, I'm back today and soooo looking forward to the euphoria I know is just ahead of me.

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!:)
 
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#2
Very best of luck, Blackrose! You have done so well losing so much weight AND managing to keep it off!!! Well done, a big pat on the back. I have to say, you are so right, losing weight really does affect your feelings and emotions. I feel so happy when feeling in control of my weight, as I am now, but at difficult times I know I can be a bit of an ogre. Shrek has nothing on me!!! Best to always feel positive, easier said than done, I know. But with help and support on here, with other Lipotrimmers who know exactly what you`re going thru, you will do briliantly. Have a good week!
 
#3
What's really weird is that, ten days ago at this weight and still on LT I felt AMAZING! I felt pretty and in control. Ten days off LT at the same weight and I feel HUGE and fat and ugly again. Which reveals a lot about how our mental image is vastly made up by how we live our lives, if that makes sense. It's psychological -our self image is NOT just numbers and BMI's. It's not just dress sizes. if we treat ourselves right, if we actively treat ourselves as if we deserve to be healthy and to feel good -we will!
Amen Sister! What a fantastic quote! Nail on head hit. When I was eating if I over indulged, I hated myself and everything about me. When I was good I loved myself so much I could have munched on me! Guilt! It's horrible. When we lose control guilt eats us up and takes away everything we love/like about ourselves. It's a vicious circle as this guilt and self loathing creeps into everything in our lives. We destroy everything around us, looking for other factors to blame, when we should only be blaming ourselves!

I missed you Rose. I love your posts. I didn't think for one minute that you'd fallen off the train. I honestly thought you were too busy wiggling around that campus turning all the young boys heads!

It's great that you're back onboard, focused and looking deep inside yourself. LT has taught me soooooooooo much about me and my relationship with food. It makes you soul search, a fantastic bonus.

Keep that positive attitude and kick some serious ass to get everything you want in life. You so deserve to have the best!
 
#4
Thanks Mel, I agree totally on the keeping positive. I usually try to avoid posting too negatively on here as well because, for myself, I don't really like reading the negative posts. Which is a bit unfair of me I know but if I'm struggling it helps me to avoid thinking about it too much. On my stronger days I read them though! lol

So -I've never went that long on any previous attempts on LT before so I'm still believing that I've turned a corner -this whole thing aside.

Let's keep this LT wagon rollin!! YE-HA!!!! ;)
 
#5
Amen Sister! What a fantastic quote! Nail on head hit. When I was eating if I over indulged, I hated myself and everything about me. When I was good I loved myself so much I could have munched on me! Guilt! It's horrible. When we lose control guilt eats us up and takes away everything we love/like about ourselves. It's a vicious circle as this guilt and self loathing creeps into everything in our lives. We destroy everything around us, looking for other factors to blame, when we should only be blaming ourselves!

I missed you Rose. I love your posts. I didn't think for one minute that you'd fallen off the train. I honestly thought you were too busy wiggling around that campus turning all the young boys heads!

It's great that you're back onboard, focused and looking deep inside yourself. LT has taught me soooooooooo much about me and my relationship with food. It makes you soul search, a fantastic bonus.

Keep that positive attitude and kick some serious ass to get everything you want in life. You so deserve to have the best!

Awww Thank you Bets!!! I've missed you too!!!!! I have been busy -not turning heads though -buried nose deep in Renaissance literature and organising some volunteer work busy. Sigh. But I've told myself to make sure I make time for my minis fix because for me this forum is a vital part of my LT experience! They go hand in hand in my book. Maybe if I'd got on here sooner I'd have got on the wagon sooner! ((I feel wick though cus you had such belief in me, sigh -shake it off Ro -shake it bloody off!!!))

Anwyas here I am and away I go! ;)

You've done so brilliantly woman! I am so impressed and so proud! WELL DONE!!!
 
#6
Hey girl! Renaissance lit has been here for years, I'm sure it can wait a wee while you wiggle and turn heads in order to boost that confidence a tad! You have to make sure you leave plenty of 'me' time. We often forget ourselves and this can lead to things spiraling out of control.

Ack, don't feel wick. It just means I have faith in you. You're one determined woman. I know if you put your mind to something then you'll achieve it. Maybe you'll blip on the way, but you'll get there in the end. Proud of ya!

The weight is falling of me! I'll be one big bag of skin with eyes poking out at this rate! To top it all off I got the results of my blood tests back on Friday and the bacteria/virus thingymajig has not gone! That means I have to have stronger meds which are draining me. Jeysus one week I can't poo if my life depended on it, the next I've the two bob bits and can't stray far from the loo! I had to get weighed yesterday at the hospital apparently so that they could adjust medication dosage. I had lost 8lbs from the Monday. That's just crazy sh*t. I expect it will calm down soon, hope so.

How's your Sis? She hasn't been on in ages?
 
#7
Hey girl! Renaissance lit has been here for years, I'm sure it can wait a wee while you wiggle and turn heads in order to boost that confidence a tad! You have to make sure you leave plenty of 'me' time. We often forget ourselves and this can lead to things spiraling out of control.

Ack, don't feel wick. It just means I have faith in you. You're one determined woman. I know if you put your mind to something then you'll achieve it. Maybe you'll blip on the way, but you'll get there in the end. Proud of ya!

The weight is falling of me! I'll be one big bag of skin with eyes poking out at this rate! To top it all off I got the results of my blood tests back on Friday and the bacteria/virus thingymajig has not gone! That means I have to have stronger meds which are draining me. Jeysus one week I can't poo if my life depended on it, the next I've the two bob bits and can't stray far from the loo! I had to get weighed yesterday at the hospital apparently so that they could adjust medication dosage. I had lost 8lbs from the Monday. That's just crazy sh*t. I expect it will calm down soon, hope so.

How's your Sis? She hasn't been on in ages?
Well she had a slip too but got back on I think last wednesday, she'd only gain 3 so she was happy with that. She still seems to have lost loads though so she's still toning up I think. She's good though -all good. :D

That's madness about your virus thingy! I know we're all wanting to lose weight but that's crazy! there are nicer ways of doing it! How have you been coping with the meds? Have you been able to work and go about your business or have you been stuck in the house ill? Seriously madness!! LOL
 
#8
Aww tell your Sis 'bout ye' from me. You can both rein each other back in. That 3lbs will be gone in a week.

The meds are crap. I'm still running around like a 2 year old, albeit a 2 year old with a full nappy! I can't let anything get me down. LT has made me so strong and unbeatable. Saying that I've taken the day off doing anything as I've just come on. So catching up on all the gossip while sitting up in bed barking orders! Ha. 'im indoors has a bake like thunder as he has man flu, so I'm trying to stay out of his way or I'll lose my temper!

Did you weigh yourself today? Have you enough shakes without going to the chemist?
 
#9
welcome back i was wondering where you had gotten too! I tink its so true about self image being about wat you eat and how you feel on the inside im really glad that everyone is feeling the psychological effects of this diet too coz at one stage i thought i was the only one. I done english in college renaissance english is cool i loved all the pre shakespeare stuff full of sex and innuendo haha! I want to be a primary teacher but need to study irish first so starting that in Jan like you lipotrim has made me get more motivated to do it!

I love your posts because although you've had a hard time you try to focus on the positive i like to do the same dont always succeed but at least i try. Im sure you will be fine as you really are a strong person.
 
#10
Aww tell your Sis 'bout ye' from me. You can both rein each other back in. That 3lbs will be gone in a week.

The meds are crap. I'm still running around like a 2 year old, albeit a 2 year old with a full nappy! I can't let anything get me down. LT has made me so strong and unbeatable. Saying that I've taken the day off doing anything as I've just come on. So catching up on all the gossip while sitting up in bed barking orders! Ha. 'im indoors has a bake like thunder as he has man flu, so I'm trying to stay out of his way or I'll lose my temper!

Did you weigh yourself today? Have you enough shakes without going to the chemist?

LMAO -full nappy hehehhehe.

I've been weighing myself at home and at boots so I can keep an eye on things. Always the same lol
I have enough shakes to do me til thursday so that'll be my new WI day, I'm also going to a new chemist so their scales might weigh me differently -I'm prepared for it. Sigh.

You relax babes, it is Sunday after all. :D
 
#11
welcome back i was wondering where you had gotten too! I tink its so true about self image being about wat you eat and how you feel on the inside im really glad that everyone is feeling the psychological effects of this diet too coz at one stage i thought i was the only one. I done english in college renaissance english is cool i loved all the pre shakespeare stuff full of sex and innuendo haha! I want to be a primary teacher but need to study irish first so starting that in Jan like you lipotrim has made me get more motivated to do it!

I love your posts because although you've had a hard time you try to focus on the positive i like to do the same dont always succeed but at least i try. Im sure you will be fine as you really are a strong person.

Thank you babes, I'm feeling better already. LOVE this forum.

ALways good to meet another English/Renaissance geek too LOL
Lots of kinkys in the reading -actaully going to do my dissertation on Women and representation of sex in the Renaissance female. Cus I LURVE it LOL

COME ON!! BRING AWN DA PAIN!!
 
#12
I entirely sympathise! I think it's great that we're all realising stuff that we need to learn about ourselves, have said some similar things in my week 31 weigh-in post just now in fact ;)

Some of us have been so fat for so long it's a very big mental readjustment to make to learn how to live in our new lives. I know that's something I'm finding. It's not just clothes, it's how we see ourselves and how we feel.

I won't ramble on any more than that - i have an exam to revise for (the stress levels in my life have not been helped by my fall from LT-grace - and vice versa).

Chick, we will get there. The time it takes isn't as important as the fact that we get there...

xx
 
#13
Chick, we will get there. The time it takes isn't as important as the fact that we get there...

xx

ABSO-BLOODY-LUTELY! Good luck with the exam woman. You're going to be fine!!!
 
#14
hey hun, nice to have u back.
good luck with getting to goal, know u can do it.
x x
 
#15
thanks for telling us babe. It's brilliant the way you're reflecting on the reasons why you've been off the wagon and using it to move forward.

You're brilliant, honest and wonderful. You can do it babe

x
 
#16
Thank you babes, I'm feeling better already. LOVE this forum.

ALways good to meet another English/Renaissance geek too LOL
Lots of kinkys in the reading -actaully going to do my dissertation on Women and representation of sex in the Renaissance female. Cus I LURVE it LOL

COME ON!! BRING AWN DA PAIN!!
Oh i done an essay on the representation of women in renaissance lit and it was so interesting i brought it back to chaucer haha dat man reigned supreme in the 3 years of college all english is drenched in his thoughts its really amazing. I done art history as well and i tink all of my essays in 2nd year were about sex they really were horny beasts back den! haha!
 
#17
I was wondering where you'd got to!!

Firstly, congrats on the progress you've made towards your PGCE! & I'm glad you're enjoying university!

I'm glad to hear you haven't put any weight on over your time off LT & that you're back on track from today; good luck!! I hope that what you've observed about yourself over your break will help you to push forward - ultimately, LT is more than just a weight-loss programme, it's an opportunity to get to know ourselves better (in regards to food at least, if not otherwise...).

Hannah
 

irish molly

Maintaing LT loss on GL
#18
A great honest post and good for you. It is not always easy to stay strong. Have to agree with all the posts so far. You are great to acknowledge that you slipped and to try and understand why. Don't stress too much about it. It will all come right in the end. Onwards and downwards!!
 
#19
Oh i done an essay on the representation of women in renaissance lit and it was so interesting i brought it back to chaucer haha dat man reigned supreme in the 3 years of college all english is drenched in his thoughts its really amazing. I done art history as well and i tink all of my essays in 2nd year were about sex they really were horny beasts back den! haha!

Hmmmm -methinks I shall be picking thy brains soon! LMAO
 


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