Hippngrvy
Full Member
Hi peeps. Well, I decided to start a diary, to keep me on track! Thought it would be a good place to have a whinge, a rant and a gossip; and maybe get the odd kick in the right direction so I can get my lard arse down to 9st 10!
When I say that's the weight I want to be; I seem to get funny looks lol. I've always been big; I was a big kid; never really fat just stocky until I hit puberty and then 'wahpow' it was like I grew upwards and outwards in equal quantities!
I never really looked obese or anything, I was always just the bigger girl... I gained weight after having my kids; but with my ex being a big fella I always felt smaller than I really was. After having Kieran, my 2nd child, I did lose weight going down from 14 to 11 1/2 st, on slimming world, but then it all went back on in 2006 when I went on the pill; in fact I put two stone on in 2 months!
In 2007 I decided to come off it and lost a stone in the first month, taking me down to 14stone....that's when I met my new husband! We met at our '10 year school reunion' and instantly hit it off! 3mths later he'd moved in lol! He was about 13stone at the time (he's 5ft 10), although he's now just under 12stone, and yet a year previous he'd weighed in at 18st. He'd lost a lot of the weight when he and his ex-wife split as he ate and drank less and exercised a lot more...although I was really pleased for him, it didn't help me feel good about myself... the problem was he seem to mention it constantly; only I think cause he was proud of himself, but he'd go on and on and on about how he didn't understand why people stayed fat when it was so easy to lose weight. What I don't think he understood was he'd always been a slim person; and then he discovered alcohol and deep fried food and that's how he'd piled the weight on eating and drinking to excess everyday...I was the opposite; I ate quite a healthy diet; lots of fruit and veg, didn't drink that often, it was simply portion sizes where I was messing up; which after being on slimming world was impossible to teach yourself! If I'd led the lifestyle he had I would have been even bigger! lol. In his eyes I wasn't fat; so I don't think it registered how upsetting I found it that he was constantly belittling overweight people... it also didn't help that his ex-wife was a size 6-8 and weighed about 8stone! He'd decided (I don't know why!) to show me all his photographs of his wedding (he's only got married in 2005 but they split a year later...) so they were recent photos; and although she had a face like the back end of a bus (did I say that out loud? lol) she was skinny and it made me even more concious of myself. I mentioned about thinking of going on weight watchers one day; and his comment,although said in jest kinda stung when he said ' oh no, I've gone from one always complaining she was too skinny to one complaining she is too fat'... so, enough was enough, and although he would constantly, and still does tell me he loves me no matter what shape or size I am; I joined weight watchers! That was in December 2007, weighing 14st. By August 2008 I weighed 11st 5. By this time we'd booked our wedding, and my wedding dress had already been sent back for being too big, so I had to put on 3-4 lb so that it fit properly! Now I really want to lose the extra weight to get down to goal. I say I want to be 9st 10 as that's BMI of 22, the 'healthiest' BMI apparently; but; to sit at 10st would be great!
Since we got married in Nov.08 we've been trying for a baby; but, my DH found out for definite in April that he's barely fertile, possibly caused by the two bouts of Mumps he's had. Up until now I have been using the excuse of 'well, there is no point in loosing weight just to put it all back on when I get pregnant'. However, the docs have said that although there is a slim chance we might get pregnant naturally it is IVF that we need to get pregnant, something that as I already have children from my previous marriage, we would have to fund privately - and not something that we'll be able to afford within the next 2-3 years due to my hubby being back at college after being made redundant last year...
So; I have accepted that pregnancy is unlikely; and I am now on
my path to a slimmer me!
I've pigged out on food at least 3-4 times in the past 10days, so today I am kinda having a detox day; drinking lots of fluid; eating fresh fruit/veg and then tomorrow I am going to get weighed in the morning and start my 20pts a day. I weighed in at 11st 1 a week ago, so hoping it isn't too bad this week.... I am also going to pop and get some batteries for my Wii remotes and start the EA Active; which has been sat in my cupboard for a year and only used once! So 30day challenge here I come!
Well after that initial first rsant I am going to go and read some other posts and wait until tomorrow to tell the minimins world how I get on.... xx
When I say that's the weight I want to be; I seem to get funny looks lol. I've always been big; I was a big kid; never really fat just stocky until I hit puberty and then 'wahpow' it was like I grew upwards and outwards in equal quantities!
I never really looked obese or anything, I was always just the bigger girl... I gained weight after having my kids; but with my ex being a big fella I always felt smaller than I really was. After having Kieran, my 2nd child, I did lose weight going down from 14 to 11 1/2 st, on slimming world, but then it all went back on in 2006 when I went on the pill; in fact I put two stone on in 2 months!
In 2007 I decided to come off it and lost a stone in the first month, taking me down to 14stone....that's when I met my new husband! We met at our '10 year school reunion' and instantly hit it off! 3mths later he'd moved in lol! He was about 13stone at the time (he's 5ft 10), although he's now just under 12stone, and yet a year previous he'd weighed in at 18st. He'd lost a lot of the weight when he and his ex-wife split as he ate and drank less and exercised a lot more...although I was really pleased for him, it didn't help me feel good about myself... the problem was he seem to mention it constantly; only I think cause he was proud of himself, but he'd go on and on and on about how he didn't understand why people stayed fat when it was so easy to lose weight. What I don't think he understood was he'd always been a slim person; and then he discovered alcohol and deep fried food and that's how he'd piled the weight on eating and drinking to excess everyday...I was the opposite; I ate quite a healthy diet; lots of fruit and veg, didn't drink that often, it was simply portion sizes where I was messing up; which after being on slimming world was impossible to teach yourself! If I'd led the lifestyle he had I would have been even bigger! lol. In his eyes I wasn't fat; so I don't think it registered how upsetting I found it that he was constantly belittling overweight people... it also didn't help that his ex-wife was a size 6-8 and weighed about 8stone! He'd decided (I don't know why!) to show me all his photographs of his wedding (he's only got married in 2005 but they split a year later...) so they were recent photos; and although she had a face like the back end of a bus (did I say that out loud? lol) she was skinny and it made me even more concious of myself. I mentioned about thinking of going on weight watchers one day; and his comment,although said in jest kinda stung when he said ' oh no, I've gone from one always complaining she was too skinny to one complaining she is too fat'... so, enough was enough, and although he would constantly, and still does tell me he loves me no matter what shape or size I am; I joined weight watchers! That was in December 2007, weighing 14st. By August 2008 I weighed 11st 5. By this time we'd booked our wedding, and my wedding dress had already been sent back for being too big, so I had to put on 3-4 lb so that it fit properly! Now I really want to lose the extra weight to get down to goal. I say I want to be 9st 10 as that's BMI of 22, the 'healthiest' BMI apparently; but; to sit at 10st would be great!
Since we got married in Nov.08 we've been trying for a baby; but, my DH found out for definite in April that he's barely fertile, possibly caused by the two bouts of Mumps he's had. Up until now I have been using the excuse of 'well, there is no point in loosing weight just to put it all back on when I get pregnant'. However, the docs have said that although there is a slim chance we might get pregnant naturally it is IVF that we need to get pregnant, something that as I already have children from my previous marriage, we would have to fund privately - and not something that we'll be able to afford within the next 2-3 years due to my hubby being back at college after being made redundant last year...
So; I have accepted that pregnancy is unlikely; and I am now on
my path to a slimmer me!
I've pigged out on food at least 3-4 times in the past 10days, so today I am kinda having a detox day; drinking lots of fluid; eating fresh fruit/veg and then tomorrow I am going to get weighed in the morning and start my 20pts a day. I weighed in at 11st 1 a week ago, so hoping it isn't too bad this week.... I am also going to pop and get some batteries for my Wii remotes and start the EA Active; which has been sat in my cupboard for a year and only used once! So 30day challenge here I come!
Well after that initial first rsant I am going to go and read some other posts and wait until tomorrow to tell the minimins world how I get on.... xx