How do i start again?

[tnv1973]

i lost 5 1/2 stone in as many months and started maintenance. I then have been on a bender ever since and i reckon that in the past 5 weeks i have put most of the weight on. I wake up in the morning and eat chocolate! I am on maternity leave so i can stay in the house all day and eat. I have decided to go back to LL class but i am so ashamed and embarrased and dreading getting on those scales! Right now i despise myself. I feel worthless and useless and wish i could turn the clock back 5 weeks to when i was slim ( size 8). I wont go out and have stopped seeing all my friends. Last time they saw me i was slim... now i am fat! Am too scared to see them.

Why did i ruin it? Anyone out there with words of wisdom or support.

 

[snowmum]

You lost 5 and a half thats a major achievement. I am only just starting but heres what i think. We have three returners in our group who are doing well. Food is hard dont be hard on yourself. If you are on maternity leave that can be hard too, you might be a little down chemically after the birth, just a thought. Anyway shake yourself up and start again, just think you wont make that mistake again.

 

[SafcGirl31]

Sending you a hug :hug99:Sounds like you really need it. Don't really know what to say, I've never got to my goal weight (years of trying though) so have never been the size I wanted to be, just various stages of overweight, I do know what its like to put weight back on and not want to leave the house. Even LL hasn't been the 'miracle' I always hoped but it has stopped me from collapsing totally and I can reign myself in quicker than before ie before putting all the weight back on.

It takes a whole year I'm told to develop lasting good habits to keep the weight off according to my LLC so you'll certainly not be alone in having put weight back on. I've been putting on and losing the same 2 stones since July! When I get to goal, I plan to go to a weigh in class for a year to keep myself in check, because unchecked I go mad with food, had a cold a few weeks ago and ended up putting 10lbs on because I couldn't stop eating chocolate. You're definitely not alone..

It might be hard but you probably should get on the scales and see what the damage is, it probably won't be as bad as you think. Then head back in the right direction. I do think that the LL packs leave you with a sweet tooth, chocolate was never much of a problem but now has become a binge/crave food. Most LLC hold refresher groups (or a lost sheep group as my group decided!!) Don't put it off, you don't want to feel like you do at the moment any longer, you know how easy it is once you get into it, 5st in 5months was marvellous. You can do it again, just you'll have learned more this time. Take Care x

 

[Donnalou86]

That's fantastic about you losing 5 and a half stone! Well done! I would say don't be scared to face the scales. You're doing this for you and not what the scales say anyway, and I bet you haven't put the whole lot on in only 5weeks, might not be as bad as you thought. But even if it is, you've done it before and you can certainly do it again. It's a very daunting thing going back onto food and we're all just learning. It's like learning to ride a bike, you fall off, but you just get right back on again, and if you fall again, get back on again. Eventually something will click and it will come natuarally. Good luck!!

 

[tnv1973]

time to be positive!

Thanks for your words of wisdom everyone! I have been so wrapped up in food and weight for the past months or so that it is only just beginning to dawn on me that I need to not make this more significant than it actually is. You see, because I have been eating so badly, I have begun to think that I am a bad person and a failure at everything! I have a 10 month old daughter and have been feeling so guilty about being a bad mum… just because I eat chocolate! Its time for me to get a grip! And posting these messages is hopefully my way of giving myself a good talking too and a reality check.

I have been seeing a CBT therapist and I think I am starting to see the light! So what if I have put on some weight! Think of the positives! And I have the tools to lose weight. I am going back to LL tonight. But I am going to continue to see the CNT therapists. There are people who put weight on just cos they eat the wrong foods but I am one of those people who does have issues with food and as my LLC admits, I need more support than LL can offer. LL food packs will help me lose the weight but not keep it off.!!!

Did you all see on the news this week about binge priming… it’s an eating disorder caused by our society’s obsession to be a size zero which causes us to go on fad diets and then binge and then start again! Sound familiar??? Apparently it causes the brain to think differently about food!!!

Anyway am going back to class tonight. Have told my counsellor I don’t want to know what I weigh! That will just depress me and set me off on a binge! So I will try to stick to it for one week to see how much I lose and I hope that will give me the encouragement to keep going. I feel that all I need is a week so that I can feel in control again.

I DO NOT WANT TO BE FAT THIS SUMMER!!!!

 

[SafcGirl31]

Good luck for tonight,
It is easy to become obsessed either with food or dieting and I was interested with the binge priming research in the news, as someone who has been dieting since age 9, (ie for 23 years!!!) I've definitely lost the ability to eat normally something I hope to gain back after LL.
Stay strong and most of all be kind to yourself. x

 

[tnv1973]

well i went back to class last night and only put on 2 stone. I know that sounds a lot ( it is!!) but i truely thought i had put on double that. it was reassuring to go back to class last night and now that i have made that leap i feel a lot stronger.
and it is good to get all your support too. It makes it easier during the day when i am at home!

Need to keep positive. A lot of the postings on this site are people looking for suppport and i am like a sponge- i soak up peoples emotions so if they are negative so will i be! but your words of encouragement truely do help.

i start back at work at the end of may and i am would prefer to be slimmer when i start back. if only to give me more confidence... have been off work for 14 months so it is going to be tough going starting back anyway

am smiling today

 

[x-Katie-x]

If you stick to it by the book there's a good chance you'll lose most if not all that weight by the end of May.

Stay strong, you can do this

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hey hey TNV - glad the damage was not as bad as you feared!! So your journey will now only be half as hard as you expected.

If negative comments get to you, best to just let them filter through and flow through you. This is no walk in the park, and there are negative comments at times - just frustration, boredom, self berating, etc.....but don't let that get to you.

You just carry on with your goal in your miond, and let the negative stuff roll off your back, like water on a ducks back.

You'll knock those two stone off in no time!!!

All the best to yyou!!

xx