Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Aw Sweety - you are a gem. I loved your post. THank you. 
XXX
XXX
How do you find the willpower?
- Thread starter Lana
- Start date
bekimo
Fighting Demons....
I never really wanted to accept it until just reading this thread. But I had a miscarriage in May this year. It came as a shock as I only just found out I was pregnant anyway.
Anyway, I just tried to pretend it didn't happen. Move on, etc. But it occurs to me now, and I probably knew it then and just didn't admit it to myself, that the reason was more than likely my weight. And hopefully, if there is a next time for me, it won't be such an unfortunate ending.
B x
Anyway, I just tried to pretend it didn't happen. Move on, etc. But it occurs to me now, and I probably knew it then and just didn't admit it to myself, that the reason was more than likely my weight. And hopefully, if there is a next time for me, it won't be such an unfortunate ending.
B x
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Ahh girlies - we have been through the ringer, haven't we. I have experienced loss twice - though under very different situations. THose that read my diary know, and know its not an easy thing for me to talk about, so thats really all I can say on the subject.
Its such a sad sad thing - but being one who really does believe everything happens for a reason - now, today, that I have faced these losses, and forgiven myself and others, I no longer feel the need to punish myself. Which is literally a life-saver. However - the losses still occured and left a void. That void for years was filled with food. That surely was not the reason it happened. I don't know yet if I have found the reason. But I know there is one. There always is.
I think now, the void is being filled shopping. not smiling this time - as seriosuly - my spending since the second half of LL has got me alarmed. It'd be OK if it were just clothes - but its not. That does worry me - it means there is stil something inside thats not quite right. I know I will never make me pay for these things physically again - I will not eat myself out of it - I may transfer itsomewhere yet again, but mark my words - ain't gonna be food. But it does make me wonder.
Its important I think when we have such traumas in life - we really need to face them - and understand them - and that is so much easier said then done. But if we are unable to do that - I feel it really does stunt us. I know it did me - and while accepting the cards I've been dealt is not always easy - its easier sometimes then trying to figure our what I did to deserve bein dealt that hand in the first place. Things always need, and always find an outlet. Its choosing the best outlet that becomes important.
I don't know what I am saying really. Just a lot of waffle. I just felt there are so many who have had losses like this. Made me kinda sad.
xx
Its such a sad sad thing - but being one who really does believe everything happens for a reason - now, today, that I have faced these losses, and forgiven myself and others, I no longer feel the need to punish myself. Which is literally a life-saver. However - the losses still occured and left a void. That void for years was filled with food. That surely was not the reason it happened. I don't know yet if I have found the reason. But I know there is one. There always is.
I think now, the void is being filled shopping. not smiling this time - as seriosuly - my spending since the second half of LL has got me alarmed. It'd be OK if it were just clothes - but its not. That does worry me - it means there is stil something inside thats not quite right. I know I will never make me pay for these things physically again - I will not eat myself out of it - I may transfer itsomewhere yet again, but mark my words - ain't gonna be food. But it does make me wonder.
Its important I think when we have such traumas in life - we really need to face them - and understand them - and that is so much easier said then done. But if we are unable to do that - I feel it really does stunt us. I know it did me - and while accepting the cards I've been dealt is not always easy - its easier sometimes then trying to figure our what I did to deserve bein dealt that hand in the first place. Things always need, and always find an outlet. Its choosing the best outlet that becomes important.
I don't know what I am saying really. Just a lot of waffle. I just felt there are so many who have had losses like this. Made me kinda sad.
xx
