Hi Paul,
Being one of the few guys on here I have followed your progress and seen how you have struggled since your first CD journey. I am the same, I am now on my 13th CD Journey. In the early days, I could just decide to go back on it and do it, this time, it has taken me 6 weeks to get past 1 day! I always convince myself that I don't want it enough, and if I convince myself of that then maybe it is the case.
The only reason I have managed to get back on it this time (Day 7 today) is because I am desperate. I have gone back to a weight, where I am aching, tired, sweating all the time, can't get clothes to fit. I am so desperate that I think that has given me the strength to get through this week. You know you can do it because you did it before, but it is without doubt so much harder after the 1st time. I know how daunting the prospect of long term CD is, it literally fill you with fear and dread. You need to decide what is more important to you food or being slim/healthy/fit, because the fact is you are not going to lose the weight any other way - you have already tried!!
In an ideal world, I would say, set yourself a target of 2 pounds weight loss per week and a goal of losing the weight in 1 year and doing WW or Calorie count with a food diary and some books, such as The Beck Book. That would be the ideal advice if you can do it. But I cannot myself. 1 Year is too long to continue feeling unhappy and unhealthy, the results at the end of the week do not make the depriving worthwhile.
You have been back and forward too many times, you need to make a decision today and just stick to it!!!