Humour - Food with no Calories!! - let's add to the list!

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by SoonToBeGorgeous, 31 October 2007 Social URL.

  1. SoonToBeGorgeous

    SoonToBeGorgeous Loving the Cambridge Diet

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    Let's see how many more we can add to this list!

    1.If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

    2.If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

    3.Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

    4.If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

    5.Cookie pieces contain no fat-- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

    6.Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

    7.Food licked off your fingers doesn't have calories. Example: cake batter , cookie dough, frosting, etc.

    8.Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are:
    spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

    9. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.

    10. Foods eaten while watching a major event on television do not count. Major events include: Superbowl, Hockey Finals, Indy 500, Jerry Springer show.

    11. Powerbars and other type energy bars make you thinner. In all my years of exercising (at least three times a year) I have only seen thin people eating energy bars. Therefore they must make you thin.

    12. Snickers is the same as an energy bar (see #11)

    13. Tasting other people's food does not add to your calorie count.

    14. Whatever you just ordered at that restaurant is healthy, as long as it has "salad" in its name.
     
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  3. Dobbie

    Dobbie I will get to goal .....

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    15. Anything eaten standing up - it falls straight into your bowels and is hence expelled at next poopage. Whereas sitting down, the food has to meander around all your bits and hence is absorbed along the way ;)
     
  4. poohbearmufc

    poohbearmufc Longing 2 b a yummy mummy

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    That piece of cheese left over after grating, does not contain any calories...
     
  5. Fuzzys Angel

    Fuzzys Angel The Lovely James Hetfield

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    17. That ice cream put in a blender to make a shake doesn't contain calories, after all it's a shake & that's what we have on Cd when we're SSing!!!
     
  6. Dobbie

    Dobbie I will get to goal .....

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    18. Anything liquid .... how can it have calories when there's no solids?!
     
  7. Dobbie

    Dobbie I will get to goal .....

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    19. Anything really really sticky or chewy .... all the energy expended licking/chewing cancels out the calories in said food ;) :D
     
  8. kitten2

    kitten2 Full Member

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    20 Nothing has any calories on a Friday

    21 Alcohol stops having calories once you cant remember drinking it!
     
  9. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    22 Having anything to eat after a weigh in does not count as calories either! - providing you start afresh the next day!!!
     
  10. sallies

    sallies Full Member

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    fruit its so healthy surely that cant have calories.
     
  11. poohbearmufc

    poohbearmufc Longing 2 b a yummy mummy

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    24. When hubby has a bite of your chocolate bar, then the calories are automatically halved!
     
  12. Kippaxmum

    Kippaxmum Back on the wagon

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    25: If you didnt cook it, it doesnt count (ie: restaurant/fast food) :)
     
  13. SoonToBeGorgeous

    SoonToBeGorgeous Loving the Cambridge Diet

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    26. Chips taken from someone else's plate!
     
  14. corinne_j

    corinne_j Full Member

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    Food that's bought for you has no calories
     
  15. voodoo

    voodoo LOVING MY WATER

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    28 kids leftovers or food 'tasted' before serving to kids is calorie free.
    xxxxsharon
     
  16. Eclipse

    Eclipse Gold Member

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    Any food eaten in the dark (if you can't see it, how can it be there?)
     
  17. Dobbie

    Dobbie I will get to goal .....

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    pmsl .... I like that one!!
     
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  19. Eclipse

    Eclipse Gold Member

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    Also counts for food eaten under duvet covers
     
  20. Dutch

    Dutch Goodbye Tum

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    If you put the food on the scales with you, you'll see you'll put no weight on. I did this once when I was about 15, stood on the scales with the contents of two selection boxes at christmas and not a pound more so I ate the lot xx
     
  21. lucylu0802

    lucylu0802 Got to stop eating!

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    Any food shared is free from calories!!! Therfore have a bag of crisps give one to the hubby or dog and it's free! Time to open a second bag and repeat the process!
     
  22. lucylu0802

    lucylu0802 Got to stop eating!

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    Anything you eat when you have the munchies after drinking too much is free.... if you can't remember it.... it doesn't count! Bring on the wine!!!
     
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