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I am just a big failure... I am my worst enemy :(

Elie

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 18st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 37.8 Loss: 1st13lb(9.54%)
#1
Hello everyone :cry:

Well, I'm back, after ruining all my efforts and deserting Minimins out of shame :( . It took me a week to find the courage to come back on here, and this for several reasons:

1) I am ashamed because I have wasted everyone's time: all these lovely people who took the time to write to me and to give me advice :(

2) I am ashamed because I met lovely people on here: rach1974, loved-up (to name but a few) etc, and I left the forum without any explanations, and it was so rude, and the reaction of a coward :cry: And for this I am sorry too girls, if you are still on Minimins :cry:

3) I am ashamed because I disgust myself: so little self esteem and self control :(. And I know I am not the first person to fell off the wagon, but I have received so much love and help from everyone, on Minimins and in real life :(

I want to start from the beginning again, having stupidly gain back all the weight I had lost last year :cry:

Oh my, you know what made me realise that I had to come back here and get myself motivated to lose weight? Well, a year ago, I was so happy, so much thinner, so excited and full of hope :(

So if you want me back, I'd be really happy :wave_cry:

I still want to do CD as, for some reason, this is the only diet that has ever worked for me. Even the weight gain was not caused by stopping the diet, as I stopped quite a while ago and did not put the weight back on immediately, as I was eating very sensibly. I then had some little problems and I ate like there was no tomorrow :break_diet: . But I believe this is te best diet for me. I have to say my CDC has been fantastic and so understanding, as she was texting me and emailing me even when I was not doing the diet: and I feel like I don't deserve such kindness, because I always ruin everything :(

You will probably think while reading this message that I am in a terrible state of mind, depressive, etc, but I actually am not. I am happy, the srping's back, I've lots of project, I am so happy with my boyfriend, etc: so go figure :rolleyes:

As usual, I think I will be writing quite a lot. For some strange reason, writing about what I feel and having people read about this really helps me :) . And Minimins is so great for this :)

Speak to you later, I will start browsing the forum again, especially the inspiration threads :)

Thank you for reading.

Elie
 
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S: 10st4lb C: 9st4lb G: 8st4lb BMI: 28.1 Loss: 1st0lb(9.72%)
#2
Its time stop being ashamed and looking forward to a new you.
And I'm sure all the support will still be here on these boards, if not from last years followers then new followers like myself.
Good luck on your journey
Choompster x
 

Elie

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 18st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 37.8 Loss: 1st13lb(9.54%)
#3
Thanks Chompster, it is really nice of you :)

I've started reading some stories, and it really helps with motivating me :)

Tomorrow, I clean the cupboards of all the junk (and the boyfriend will have to hide his junkfood :D )
 

emma237

Gold Member
S: 309lb C: 175lb G: 159lb BMI: 27.4 Loss: 134lb(43.37%)
#5
Hi Elie, how are you? Well done for drawing a line under the bad times and getting on track. Good luck with your weightloss x
 

Elie

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 18st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 37.8 Loss: 1st13lb(9.54%)
#6
Hello girls!

Yep I'm fine, thanks :D

This is what's great with me, I never stay depressed for too long :D

I have not been eating any carbs at all for 3 days now, and I'm holding on: it should help the transition to CD :D

More news to come!

xx
 

Sarette

Gold Member
S: 18st9lb C: 13st12lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 33.3 Loss: 4st11lb(25.67%)
#7
I remember you :) It's hard coming back, I did it myself in January...

All the best for your restart, we'll do it this time :D xxxxxx
 
#8
Dont look at it as failure or something to be ashamed of, see it as guidance as what not to do.

Get back on it with more determination and motivation, to achieve all your goals, be positive.

There is no point going back on where you went wrong, its done, its over.

Most of all, dont torture yourself over it, tomorrow is another day.
 
S: 20st6lb G: 13st0lb
#9
Hi I'm new here so don't know you from last year but what has happened is in the past, you have come back on here for help and support and I'm sure that is what you will get.
I look forward to chatting and congratulating you on all your wight loss you have to come.

Nic xx
 

Elie

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 18st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 37.8 Loss: 1st13lb(9.54%)
#10
Aww guys, you're all so nice :D

I'm holding onto the "no carb" pre diet at the moment, although I have to confess that this is REALLY hard :8855:

At least, now I know how quickly and efficiently CD works, so I will fight even harder :D

I don't know if I'll weigh myself this month though... It's incredibly tempting, but I'm a scale hopper :confused:. I think I'll wait for at least a fortnight and then see how much I have lost :)

It's all about trusting myself :D

Good night everyone :)
 

emma237

Gold Member
S: 309lb C: 175lb G: 159lb BMI: 27.4 Loss: 134lb(43.37%)
#11
Hi Elie glad your feeling better, also i think the pre CD low carb is a very good idea as it makes it that bit easier when starting CD. x
 

1974rach

Gold Member
G: 10st7lb
#12
Elie darling...

You haven't done anything wrong, you've just hit a bump in the road.

I'm so glad you found the courage to come back, and I will be with you each and every step of the way.

much love to you

xxx
 

Elie

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 18st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 37.8 Loss: 1st13lb(9.54%)
#13
Thanks Rach, and hello everyone!:D

the "no carb" preparation is going fine, although I am dreaming of pasta now ;)

I'm trying to get busy with things around the flat to avoid thinking about food!!!!

Hope you're all ok.
 
S: 14st13lb C: 14st7lb BMI: 30 Loss: 0st6lb(2.87%)
#14
I dont think we've met before but didnt want to read and run. I dont think you ave ny reason to be ashamed tho i can really understand why you do cos i feel like that sometimes, just that feeling of not liking yourself, having no self control and undoing all your own hard work, have been there and still 'visit' sometimes.

but the fact that you are feeling good now is fantastic, go with that feeling, have a fresh start, we are all entitled to that. No it isnt going to be easy, anything worthwhile often isnt, but you can do this, you've done it before. the only way to guarantee failure is not to even try.

so a big welcome back, and please feel good about yourself again, cos we are all worth it
 

Reena

Full Member
#15
Hi Elie

Dont worry about the past, Ive done it too but we just have to look forward and put it all behind us. Im determined this time around and Im sure you will be fine hun. There's a lot of nice helpful people on here (as you know from before) that have really helped me so be positive.
Wishing you lots of luck and love :grouphugg:

Love

R xXx
 

Elie

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 18st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 37.8 Loss: 1st13lb(9.54%)
#16
Hello everyone!

Sorry for the lack of news! I have been living a vry "stressful" time a I was waiting for an answer regarding my PhD application and... I got in! I am so happy! Off to celebrate tonight with one very close friend. I am so happy, although now very anxious at the thought of telling my manager who is not the nicest person I know :confused: Some advice would be grately welcome on this one :D

Ha, in 3 years time, I may be Doctor Elie :D

See you later! xx
 

Elie

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 18st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 37.8 Loss: 1st13lb(9.54%)
#18
Thank you Irene! :D

I am going to Bristol :D

The diet is going fine, but I am doing one of the higher step at the moment (I am on CD) as I don't want to ruin my effort and comfort eat :D
 


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