I started this diet about the same weight as you, it creeps up on you, bit by bit - This is my story
Coping, dealing with stuff/stress/life, buying time by stuffing my face. I havent got time for myself - get back to me when I can afford to do so, meanwhile pass me the cake/bix/takeaways etc.
Cant get into those jeans as well - ok wheres the elasticated waist? Right that feels comfy. Hmm that feels a bit tight. Holy cr4p - those jeans I couldnt do up, dont even go over my thighs now.
Avoids photos - eats more choc (my weapon of choice). Avoid scales. Old friends are shocked as they havent seen me for a while, but dont mention anything ie put down the cupcake hunny, you're gonna explode. Next clothing shop is in the size above, or even above that. Kept looking in a mirror that showed my face only.
Then one day, I hit the scales. The dial was going round so fast, I could dry my hair with it. 18st 7lb!!! - 21lbs form being 20st or (even worse to me) starting to head towards the 300lb mark. How on hell did I get here? I am not judgemental towards anyone with a weight prob - my parents were big and I had been for a number of years. I couldnt convince myself that I was the 'big beautiful doll' types. I looked in the mirror (full length, in the buff - it was like high noon for me) and I couldnt recognise myself. I had seen snippets but that was about it.
Now I am over a stone and a half lighter - I cannot believe the change just as THIS level. My sister is a few weeks ahead of me and has lost STONES and looks amazing. Dont give up - its hard work, good and bad days but the rewards far outway the hassle. For myself, I just need to address the issues as to why food became such a crutch, a best friend etc. Good luck with it all