I have eaten until i feel sick

[Sass]

I so thought this time would be different

I started CD in June and every week i blipped on something that would knock me out of ketosis so i then tried Atkins for almost 3 weeks and decided i wanted the faster losses and was sure my head was in the right place.

So i had a whole week on CD being really good and if i did eat it was some chicken which i permitted so as not to pressure myself and totally fall off the wagon and then......

I had a cookie that my kids made me and since then ( which was 3 days ago ) i have been starting the day okay but by evening i eat bad things and the good choice of chicken is out the window.

Today i get up and again i wake up and say to myself " right today i will crack it and i will get on the right track" but oh no today is the worst day and i can honestly say i have eaten so much i have make myself feel sick and my tummy hurts. Its as if i have eaten so much to make myself dislike food which will enable me to be 100% on CD tomorrow and for the next few days until in back in ketosis.

I go to see my CDC on tuesday and i will talk to her about this but sadly she is away for the next 3 weeks and really i could so do with her right now :cry:

I don't know what i want to gain from posting this and i'm sorry for the negative post but i'm so worried about my out of control binge until i feel sick fest today.

 

[Elvira]

I used to do this a lot!

You have to remember this feeling each time you are tempted. I found having one big binge that made me feel ill, got me back on track again because I actually was sick of food! Have you thought about doing a higher plan? x

 

[Sass]

Hiya - Yep i think i'm going to try ss+. I have been adding chicken but not a proper ss+ meal so i'm hoping this might be my answer.

The eating until i feel sick today has really bothered me though. I do really think its so i can disconnect myself from food tomorrow because of how i feel right now. Maybe i should write down how i'm feeling right now so that i will remember because i think its so easy to forget isn't it ? I read your post on what ur going through right now and i so wanted to say don't because it makes you feel like S**T but i know for me what someone else is going through wont always stop me if i really want to eat. I hope you doing okay now though. xx

 

[Elvira]

Yes I am doing good. Really focussed. If it wasn't for the guys on here I would be cheating every day!! Do write it down. I keep reading my first blog post to remind me how I felt at 22st and it does help to keep me on track and makes me feel proud that I am over 5st lighter! You can do this hun, keep focussed on your goal and what it will bring

 

[Coley]

Ahhhhhhh I know that cycle. I couldn't get over it. I just had to keep doing it and keep doing it till I got bored of food.

I couldn't cope with any restriction at all. I wanted whatever I wanted...which was everything. So, I had everything.

I had a nice 6 months of no diet at all then decided that that was quite enough. Back to do the job properly. Coming up for 5 weeks being saintly now.

Don't really know what to tell you to be honest! I ate everything for 6 months. Seems to have worked for me though....in a weird long winded type way

 

[Sass]

Hi Nicole - its so nice knowing that people have done what i seem to be doing. Well done for getting back into it. I'd like to think i can control this in some way. I might even speak to my doctor about it although i doubt there is anything she can do to help, i think this has got to come from me. I just feel like food still controls me when on CD because not having it kinda makes me want it more.

Gem - well done for staying focussed hun and also well done on your 5 stone lost already.

 

[devilishandsweet]

Awww sass, I agree with Gem, try to remember how you feel now when your are next tempted.............I think ss+ would be a great move to make. as you still can have a small meal everyday..........hope it all works out for you xx

 

[Sass]

Thank you Claire, i have taken gems advice. I have written down all the food that i have eaten and then i have made a note about how its made me feel, i hope i don't have to get to this point again before i can stick to CD. Though i think SS+ plan will also help with that.

I just hope i can cope for the 3 weeks my cdc is away.

 

[Laura Croft]

Sass,

Just wanted to share something that I went through.

When I started the steps, I thought I was physically hungry so I decided to allow myself as much tofu and protein as I felt I needed. I wasn't overdoing it by any stretch of the imagination but any time I really felt I needed the protein, I ate it.

Then having the protein became having yoghurt, then it was yoghurt with fruit, then it was carbs with protein and then it was just carbs. See where I am going with this?

A lot of what I wanted was the addictive desire to eat. I didn't learn to stick to a plan, nor did I learn to really think those desires through. How would I feel after I ate? When I was due for my next meal? Could I delay for a bit? Now you may be thinking all these things through but what I didn't learn was just because I felt I needed to eat, didn't mean that I had to. And it was okay to have the thoughts about eating, I could accept them and be at peace with them, I didn't need to act on the desire.

I didnt' give enough credit to the addictive desire's role in my life. I first read about it in the Eating Less book, but the very wise KD has also written a lot about it on the forum.

If you think even just a tiny bit of the above sounds familiar, do a search for addictive desire and see if there's more that can help you.

All the best to you

 

[merriefach]

Sass if I had a fiver for everytime I have done exactly as you have. I really find writing down my thoughts and feelings help, even if I then delete them on the computer.
Be really strong and keep logging in, this is the best support I have ever had.

 

[Asa]

Thanks for this post! I am feeling the same as you. I have been messing around with the diet for about a month, eating all sorts of stuff over the holiday. Had lots of bad excuses. I am going to forgive myself for it though, and not beat myself up about it anymore. And start fresh tomorrow. Hope we will all have great days on CD tomorrow! Writing down the feelings is an excellent idea! I will start with that too.

 

[Claudine004]

Hi,

I know how it feels. It can be really tempting just to eat and eat. I have struggled with it many times and it is worth trying to get a handle on it for the long term. Once the weight is off, maintaining it is the hardest part. We will always have to eat in moderation and put some limits to what we eat in order to keep weight off. Point blank.

Thats what stops me eating. The idea that Self control is something we all need to adopt as a lifestyle change. When I watch my sister eat (who has a figure to die for) I get it. She eats well but in moderation. She tells me that she enjoys food as much as I do but there are limits. I never really had limits which is why i got fat.

This diet is slowly teaching my about the way I used to eat and the patterns I had.

On a lighter note, I also find that taking a good look at my, ass, boobs and thighs in the mirror gives me that incentive to keep going! Yuk!:banana dancer:

Seeing the 4 huge reminders of why I need to diet gets me back on track!

Don't feel bad, just keep going! It does get easier! You are making the first steps. Go for it, you can do it!

All the best!

 

[Sass]

Laura croft - Thanks for your post. I did definitely get where you was going with the protien then protien and a bit of fruit etc etc and i think maybe that's how i spireled into yesterdays huge pit of badness Oh i can smile now but i tell you after eating what i had i seriously paid for it and my belly still hurts today so i'm raring to go and i have my first 1.5ltr bottle of water here and will have my 1st shake abit later on. I will certainly look into addictive desire too xxxx

Kim - It nice to know that i'm not alone with my behaviour yesterday. I really felt like i was rather odd and i think that added to the food binge because i was thinking " no one else would do this and stuff there faces so much until they feel sick. What's wrong with me !?" so in a stupid way i was eating more because i was making myself unhappy. Well done on your loss so far.

Asa - Here's to a new day. Good luck hun.

Claudine - I love this idea and i really think it will work for me. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, even after over 3stone gone so this is something i'm sure will stop me grabbing something that's only going to keep me looking this way. Thank you so much xx

On a lighter note, I also find that taking a good look at my, ass, boobs and thighs in the mirror gives me that incentive to keep going! Yuk!

Thanks everyone who took the time to read my whine of a post to start with but also then to give me some great support and ideas which are great. I'm very grateful to you all xx