ive been avoiding the forum for the last couple of weeks as i feel such a failiure. over the last couple of weeks ive really struggled and have been eating most days. theres a lot going on at home, and i know that im an emotional eater, and i know i need to cut the tie between food and feeling better. i found easter really hard as well, we went to my bfs parents (his mum is secretly martha stewart i think!). at one point i literally had to run from the table that was spread with trifle, hotcross buns, crumble, cake and ice cream! i ended up in tears because i just sat there watching everyone eating bowl full after bowl full of food while i just sat there with nothing. it sounds so pathetic in retrospect but it really got to me. its like in the movie labyrinth where sarah is at the ball and the faces start whizzing by but it was food and people being happy eating food swirling by me! i swear im cracking up! ive been eating fairly healthily, protein and small amounts of greens or salads but i did cave in to some chocolate which i feel really guilty about. i just cant stop!! ive only put on about 3lbs so far but im so scared im going to do what i always do and end up right where i began and then some! i know i need to do this, and i really want to do this, i just dont know if i can. im not drinking nearly enough water atm either, and i keep telling myself too but somehow it just isnt happening. im finding it really hard to draw a line under it all and move on. im sorry for rambling on its just that all i go on about to my bf/friends is my diet and i think theyve probs had enough of it lol.