I Just Need Some Re-Assurance...Actually a lot!

[EmVeg]

Hello All,

Sorry not been around - in London all week at Earls Court and only just now had a minute to log on personally.

Okay....so on week 2...and Monday night I bought myself pre-made salad and a pack of pre-cooked chicken, some no fat salad vinegarette and a sweet pepper to make my dinner. Have had these all but last night (and may I say SCRUMMY!)

So last night am invited out with my bosses boss with some of her ex-colleagues to a pub in Hammersmith.

I order that chicken salad after asking what was in it, and thinking I could eat around the tomatoes and onions and have the mixed leaves and spinach.

NO. They didn't mention the grated carrot, beetroot, red onion that were so mixed in that you couldn't even SEE any kind of leaf!

So...I have it. It was late, I was basically stuck until my boss wanted to go (as I am skint and had no money for a taxi - which we ended up getting at 1am!).

I just need some comfirmation that it isn't the end of the world!

I kind of did it myself last night by getting in and having my yoghurt and jelly as I had planned earlier in the day. I thought it was too late to have my last pack..but I wanted to have the jelly to say to myself that it was okay and I will not put on 4 stone after having carrot and beetroot 3 weeks early...but please just help reinforce it.

Plus...I think due to the fact I put on half a pound in week one, I'm terrified that I've effed up week two as well...and even though its my FIRST time out of the rules its an indicator that I haven't learnt anything.

I've spent years saying I was just meant to be fat..and I'm terrified now that maybe I was right. Crooked thinking? ME THINKS SO!

Also - I had about 3 pints of diet coke there *hangs head in shame*. There was peer pressure there...as I would have probably had one and then water - but these were city boys that drunk 7 pints in 3 hours and already looked down on me for not drinking alcohol. This is something I HAVE TO WORK ON..but I am awatre! I know there are people on here that hate the stuff, and think its the devil, but when I am out I SOMETIMES want something different to water, and I didn't have my fruits of the forest. YES I'm giving excuses...but the good news is after having 3 I now don't want it a great deal...I will MOSTLY just stick with water and have possibly one a week at my pubs quiz because I would like to.

Hmmm.

On the plus I've been on my feet all week...walked a mile every day to my hotel and back, and also before the fateful salad last night I have walked from South Kensington to Hammersmith...not sure how far but still a distance.

Thanks guys!

 

[Sean(JSF)]

And RELAX

Hi EmVeg, I can't se that one salad and some diet cokes are going to make any difference to you in week 2. I know I can get a little obsessive about the weekly food restrictions (see my "It's Quiet in Here" log), but in all honesty RTM is partly about testing yourself, and seeing how you react to different foods and situations.

Don't stress, so long as you're not planning on doing this every night I can't see any harm

 

[EmVeg]

Heehee... and breatttthhhhhhh

I know, I'm not doing badly....I'm getting there!

 

[Foxtrot]

You OK now??

 

[EmVeg]

Was naughty and stepped on the scales and mine say up 3lb this week...but trying not to let it get to me. Shouldn't have looked at it really...only got me to blame.

I just honestly don't get what I'm doing wrong,..

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi Em

SOunds a little like, maybe, you feel you are out of the gate, and you want to know all the answers now - to see everything signed sealed and delivered?? Which causes you to question things, because it is far too early to see how much you have learned - that takes weeks.

Of course you are not destined to be fat. That is crooked thinking in the highest order! So put those thoughts to bed pronto madam!
You can be as slim as you want yourself to be.

I also think its pretty brave going out to pub meals, etc., soe arly on. I know Sean has too and did well. But I kind of looked at the first 3 or 4 weeks of RTM the same way I did the first 3 or 4 weeks of abstainance. I kept my calander as clear as possible, and planned planned planned. That way you don't succumb to peer pressure.

Which leads to your friends. If they are putting pressure on you to make choices you hadn't planned on making, and if the "look down on you" if they don;t like your choice - the thing that YOU want and that works for YOU and is in YOUR best interest.....are they really being good friends?

Next time remember who is behind the wheel and who has the ultimate say so. If you choose to have a diet coke or three, as long as you choose it because its what you want - then do it! This is how we see what works for us and what doesn't, and what triggers things, or slows down losses or adds pounds. Just be prepared to pay the consequences is what I say. Now that I am done with RTM and have been for going on 5 months - I do have a treat now and again. And sometimes I have probably more of a treat then I should, but I do so knowing I pay the consequence for whatever I choose. Like now - after several stressful weeks, I am paying the consequence for consiously choosing some naughty things or too much of a healthy thing. But I do so happily and willingly because I knew it was the probably reality. I accepted that. ANd it feels great to have that kind of control. And up until those bad weeks, for several before that I was bang on the same weight every Monday morning when I weighed. It will happen, and little extras do not always mean any gain at all. Just keep them in check, make suire they are for the right reasons, etc., if you know what I mean.

And you will have that too. Trust in what you learned and give it time to unfold. Don;t expect perfection....expect normalcy. You may slip - it may be your fault, or not - like the chicken salad, but one slip is not going to bring back stones.

Keep at it!! It all becomes clear as the weeks go on.

 

[EmVeg]

Thanks BL...the pub meal wasn't with my friends, it was more of a work commitment that I needed to attend for the company sake (ballcocks!)

Plus..on my 8th day of foundation I went to a work awards meal with the full sit down meal...I do like a challenge early on!!

I am very much hoping it all comes together right here and right now - and I just have to realise it won't. I am working on feelings and thoughts going on inside, and you're absolutely right. It's going to take me a while - and so it bloody well should. This diet isn't magic...its up to each of us to sprinkle on the magice dust bit by bit.

 

[medhurst37]

You are absolutely right, during abstinence it feels like magic is working, but during RTM you realise that it is now up to you to put the hard work in, so where can we buy this magic dust?

 

[EmVeg]

I think theres a little key from your upstairs... now I just need to remember where I put it!