Roch
Minimins gal x
Well i have stayed off line for the past 5 days or so and have also asked admin to put my diary thread into admin for the momment as i did not feel strong enough to be posting on my thread.
I have gone backwards big time ever since the 2 incidents in the supermarkets where people have made me feel so embarassed and ashamed of myself that i have run as fast as i could of of the supermarket and have shopped online since and hardly left the house.
I have not been back to SW and my eating has got out of control big time, not so much the amount of food i have been eating but the foods i have been eating and i dread to think how much of the 19 lbs i lost i have put back on.
I have not left the house at all and only walked ebony in the communal garden and left it up 2 Aaron to give her a proper walk when he comes home as i dont want to be outside for 2 long.
I know i am suffering from depression but i will not go on anti depresants and i am finding it very hard to focus normally at the momment.
I hate myself at the momment and find it very hard to ever believe i will ever lose weight or be happy !!
I saw a councellor at my gp surgery and asked her to set the ball rolling with my gp to arrange for me to have a gastric bypass operation.
Why am i so weak, i never used to be like this i seem to be taking 2 steps forward and 5 back on a regular basis.
I never thought i was a quitter but i now have to acknowledge that i am !!
I feel like i am in a deep hole and i cant get out no matter how hard i try and i dont know which way 2 turn !!
I have gone backwards big time ever since the 2 incidents in the supermarkets where people have made me feel so embarassed and ashamed of myself that i have run as fast as i could of of the supermarket and have shopped online since and hardly left the house.
I have not been back to SW and my eating has got out of control big time, not so much the amount of food i have been eating but the foods i have been eating and i dread to think how much of the 19 lbs i lost i have put back on.
I have not left the house at all and only walked ebony in the communal garden and left it up 2 Aaron to give her a proper walk when he comes home as i dont want to be outside for 2 long.
I know i am suffering from depression but i will not go on anti depresants and i am finding it very hard to focus normally at the momment.
I hate myself at the momment and find it very hard to ever believe i will ever lose weight or be happy !!
I saw a councellor at my gp surgery and asked her to set the ball rolling with my gp to arrange for me to have a gastric bypass operation.
Why am i so weak, i never used to be like this i seem to be taking 2 steps forward and 5 back on a regular basis.
I never thought i was a quitter but i now have to acknowledge that i am !!
I feel like i am in a deep hole and i cant get out no matter how hard i try and i dont know which way 2 turn !!