I need help :-(

[LovelyLisa2012]

I am so down, all my previous efforts have gone out the window ans I cannot stop eating.

When i eat food i just cant stop till i feel sick. I want to lose weight so much, i am clinically depressed due to this so why do i have no motivation? I have a consultation for a Gastric Band but i really really want to do this without surgery.

Please help me :-(

 

[Niennor]

Well..

The first part of helping yourself is admiting you have a problem, which you have done so good on you!

Unfortunately nobody can wave a wand and make you have the mindset to do this, I wish there was because not only would I wave it on myself I would also wave it for everyone else.

This journey is hard there is no denying that.

I can relate to your eating til you feel sick then hating yourself for it, I used to do this and that is what now I seem to be slowly getting under control (it is a constant battle)

It says your doing slimming world, have you ever considered something like exante, cambridge, lighter life or slim n save, these vlcd force you to replace all food in your diet and therefore make you confront the issues you may have with food, personally I have done exante and its changed my whole outlook on food, however there are no group sessions or counselling and you need to have a strong will power and determination to do this on your own. I find my diary on minimins is the best support in the world however I know people on the cambridge diet that simply couldn't have got to their goal weight without the face to face support of their counsellor.

There is no easy answer to this one, only you can make the necessary changes in your life and diet to be happy with your weight. there is also the argument of who is to say when you reach your goal that you will be happy? I know many people who balance out at a heavier weight than me but are completely content with this. Its personal preference and only you wil know the answer to this.

I really do wish you the best of luck whatever you decide, I know nothing about gastric bands so really wouldn't want to comment on it, I do know its works really well for some and maybe they will pop along and give you some words of wisdom.

Please try not to get yourself down, life is for living and no matter what your weight is, be proud of who you are, if you feel sexy you will be sexy, be confident and proud. Be true to yourself!!!

Take care

 

[Karazykat07]

Hi Lisa,
I know exactly how you feel. The difference is that when i eat i can never feel full up and my younger brother is exactly the same, hence why he weighs nearly 29 stone now. Breaks my heart that at the moment he is in the same frame of mind as yourself.
I got my appt through from Exeter hospital to see the bariatric surgeon and then i googled having a gastric band/ surgery and it scared the living hell out of me.
It has finally given me the kick up the butt i needed to realise this is my only chance now to lose the weight myself.
I would love to help you as much as i can. If you have Facebook, i am always on there and hopefully we can keep each other on track.
All that said, i have to say that Exante is the first time i have felt so confident that i can do this for the long haul. Tried all the other diets out there and they all failed miserably.
I know it's tough, i see people on here struggling and they only have 1 stone to lose but it's worth it.
Good luck xx

 

[Lanarkwitch]

Can I ask, are you depressed because you are overweight?? Or is it something else? Or are you depressed because you are falling off the diet wagon? I think this is an important question to ask yourself.

I was well over 24st a few years ago, I was depressed because my life wasn't panning out the way I had thought it would, as a consequence is was massively overweight and endangering my health. The weight wasn't causing the depression it was a symptom of other things that were going on. By total chance I was lying in bed one night and I couldn't sleep, so I turned on the shopping channel (QVC) and there with his big flashy white teeth and American accent was Anthony Robbins punting one of his "feel better and get on with your life" type courses. Usually I'd just raise my eyes to heaven and think what a waste of time, does anyone really think these things will work!! But this time I listened to him for a few minutes and what he said really struck a chord with me, basically his message was, decide what you want to do, write a list, and take action. I realised I am very good at the first 2 steps, but the actual getting of my butt and taking action was the bit that was missing. I didn't get the very expensive course from QVC, but I did get a book of his and in about 15 months the following happened.

I left my then husband, chucked my job and moved back to Scotland, passed my driving test, lost 11.5 stone, got a better job, paid off all my debts, bought a car, met new lovely Irish husband (still together now), moved to Ireland, got an even better job and then finally I started my own fairly successful business.

I feel, just from my own experience, that weight is rarely about what it seems and often has a number of different contributory factors.

Just my tuppence worth, but maybe it might get you thinking. Good luck xxxx

 

[Darcy15]

I can't give such an eloquent reply as the previous posters wise words.

However, your story strikes such a chord with me.

Name the diet and I have done it - and failed each and every time.

I started Exante on a complete whim - found it by complete accident one evening, as I did this site.


For the first time in my life I am in control. Taking food out of the equation has been so liberating. I am almost halfway to target, and I KNOW that this time I will succeed

It has to be your decision ultimately of course. Ask yourself why you want to lose weight in the first place. For me it was not the size 10 jeans, but rather a wish to avoid all the ghastly health problems that could have been heading my way. In my professional life I have seen all too much of the misery obesity brings.

Think long and hard about surgery. Is it really what you want? If it is, then by all means go for it - but please do your research first. It is not necessarily the answer.

Use the amazing support here - I have found it invaluable. Considering I had never in my life looked at an Internet forum let alone been active in one, that speaks volumes!


Take care of yourself

 

[LovelyLisa2012]

Thank you so much for your replies, im off sw again and have been off and on exante but just cant seem to stick to it.

My depression is crippling which isnt helping as all i want to so is eat, my self esteem is on the floor and i just disgust myself. I dont no how much more i can take im exhausted i feel like i cant win

 

[TahjmansMum]

Hi Lisa, write down why you want to lose weight plus any medical or social issues why you want to lose it. I would also suggest a change of your username on this forum to something more positive. Disassociate yourself with 'big'. This is a time of change for you.

i was having medical symptoms and also my rings were so tight, I was puffing going upstairs, my heel was numb and I was cross with myself for not being able to feel good in the clothes I was wearing.

Take yourself out of old habits, do you have big friends? Either involve them or see them less.

Take a look at the different diet choices on here and choose one that suits you and your lifestyle. i love mine and I am moving forward and losing weight. Start a diary on here and write down your thoughts and feelings. Xxx

 

[Bellerine]

Hi there,

I can only chime in and agree with all the posts above. Ive been there. We've all been there i think. Trapped in fat. Frustrated. No way out. Hopeless. Ive lived that too. I would describe myself as i was last christmas as a "functioning depressed". Id smile and laugh with other people but noone seemed to see the agony i was in. And i couldnt beat it. If i said i was depressed ppl would ask "why?" What a silly question. If i knew that id sort it out. The low moods seemed to just be from me and totally unrelated to events. Thankfully i got some blood tests done and my vit d was soooo low I took some vit d tablets and immediately felt better. I plagued my doctor to get the tests done mind. Most people dismiss every problem you have and put it down to weight.

Try a good multivit for a month. If you think you can do it try going wheat free too for a few days cos you might have a gluten issue. A lack of any vit or a gluten issue can cause both depression and insatiable appetite. Based on your post id say there something simple like that wrong.

Im doing exante so i can tell you that going on it immediately lifts the cloud. Try atkins perhaps for a while cos you can totally pig out on it without worries and it might get you out of the funk.

But remember. This low will pass. It will get easier to cope. You can do this. If all of us can so can you. There is every reason to believe you can do it - just maybe not right now when you are so low.

So go to your doctor and tell the doc how you feel and demand bloodtests. And see what else the doc can offer you..

THERE IS HOPE. YOU CAN DO IT.

 

[Lanarkwitch]

Lisa, having read your reply I really must insist you get yourself to your GP soon as possible. You really need to take action on the depression and getting your mood in a more stable position. Forget about dieting for the moment and see the first step on this journey as learning to look after yourself and your health. I don't know if you are on meds or not, if you are they could be contributing to your appetite, there are other drugs available that can help with this.

Please let us know how it goes

Emma xxx

 

[TahjmansMum]

Lisa, could I also suggest you read the following book called 'Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It' by Gary Taubes. It is not a huge book but will give you understandable sciencey reasons for our weight. It will take you back to 1850's America and explain why the women were overweight. All will be revealed in a simple way. It has inspired me and I already feel so much brighter and bushy tailed! X

Just also to let you know I have been on anti depressants before, also had counselling which was helpful. In the end I realised the only person that can help me is me. I am looking forward to the future, not looking back at events I can't change.

Get to the docs and if you like come and join me on the Atkins forum. You will need to cut out foods with flour and sugar and drink alot of water each day but on the plus side you can have all fat and protein and as much as you want until you are full. After a week or two your appetite and cravings will disappear.

Annie

 

[Bellerine]

Morning Lisa. Wondering how you doing.

I forgot to mention that when I am pretty much the same height as you and I spent last year in the 17 stone bracket. So we've been the same height and weight for the past year you and I. Thats NOT THAT BAD) Stop beating yourself up over it. Have you seen Obese a Year to save my life - one guy on there was 46 stone. Watching that you realise that you are lucky - that it could be a WHOLE lot worse. So you are a little big. You can still get clothes in M&S! And your journey to slim, when you do take it, isnt that far.

You are not alone pet in not being able to control your eating. If you were minimins and vlcds wouldnt exist. Its not talked about much but there are millions of us all struggling every day with our eating and not able to control it. Set up a diary here whether you are on the diet or not. Just cos we are here doesnt mean we are all succeeding..it just means we are trying. So become one of us and try a little. Maybe there is someone else out there who could benefit from your advice and experiences.

Belle

 

[LovelyLisa2012]

Thank you so much ladies, i have read all your comments and feel alittle more positive.

I will buy the book, thank you. Going to take a few days to get myself together. All junk has gone from the house so if i binge it will at least be low calorie, healthy food.

Lisa x

 

[TahjmansMum]

Lisa, keep posting. You can and will get through this. If you have had enough now is the time to sort it out. Summer is coming.

 

[almostmrswood]

I hear you Lisa! I'm in the same boat. I get motivated, last all day then screw it up in the evening. I've taken to thinking on each day as a new start and doing as best I can. If I mess up, then at least I haven't been eating crap the whole day.

We will all get there one day. Never give up!