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I need some help please, fat and can't get motivated

#1
I have done SW o and off in the past and at the moment i am off! I have been away with my bf for the weekend and i have just seen a picture of me that he took and honestly its horrific. I'm in joging bottoms which obviously don;t do anyone any favours and i was breathing in as i knew he was taking it.

I look fat, a mess and I'm starting to hate myself. I don't even want sex as i hate my body so much and he tells me that he loves me but i look at myself and find it hard to believe.

I really need to get back on this as since last time i stopped i have slowly put on a few more piunds and am probably half a stone heavier.

I'm the fattest person at work and fattest out of all of my friends and i hate it now. I need to lose 4 stone and although i know the pla works i just don;t know where to start.

I'm frightened to go back to the meeting as i know i'm a failure.

Sorry for spilling everything on here i just feel really low :cry:
 
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#2
Hi hun. Start with day 1, and take it one day at a time. you sound so down, but don't feel a failure-we have all been there. Come on, join us and start to feel better about yourself-you really will! Look up a class, and if you can afford it, go to one this week. We will all be there for you. Big hug Tracey x
 
#3
Hey hun.
You can do it with SW hun, use that feeling you had when you saw that photo to spur you on. Everyone here will support you in what ever you need. I do SW from home as I cant afford to go to class, you could do that too if you dont want to go class hunny. Hugs xx
 
#4
Oh hun, I so know how you feel...and I know I am not the only one. You have to decide to make that first step..after that it's easier, and you will already feel better just by going to a meeting, better than you do right now.
I too have 3-4 stone to lose and I joined last week by myself and I was really nervous. BUT it's the best thing I did, I am into week 2 4lbs heavier and I have a renewed sence of motivation.
We will deffo help you along the way, this group is awesome.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
 
#5
Pick your day and start from new go shopping and get the things you need and go for it you will be feeling much better once you have started and know your on the right track!

Dont feel to down I know its hard but you have come to a point and made a decision so now its time to act. Be positive and look forward. Good Luck

On wards and upwards Or downwards as most of us on here would aggre he he
 

pixiepiratess

Going From Flab to FAB!
#6
Morning Coucous, I completly understand what you mean, and know others here feel exactly the same way,
Ive started and failed so many times, But i know i cant stop trying, I also have 4 stone to lose but want to see how i feel at 3.
Start from today plan todays food, write everything down that passes your lips and drink plenty of water :)

Good luck on your journey and please know we are all here :)
 

Mrs V

Loves Life!
#7
Im a firm believer in taking the bull by the horns - basically if you dont like what you see in the mirror, then only you can change that. I would recommend as the others have said, taking yourself to a class if you can afford it - or failing that, look at the food diaries on here to give you some ideas. We are all in the same boat Huni, we have all seen pictures of ourselves that we would rather burn (I have!)...but keep them as a reminder...do you want to be like this for the rest of your life, or would you rather do something about it???
Come on here and ask as many questions as you like, we will all try and help you as much as we can Hun.

Take care and good luck.

Kerry-Ann
xx
 

squiddie

Starting Again!
#8
Excellent advice as always. Use this moment to make the positive decision to turn you're life around, don't go down the road of self loathing and comfort eating. Use it to do something amazingly positive.

Don't worry about going back to class, I went back to the same class 4 times and always got the same warm welcome and no one thought any different of me as we are all human!

Also don't stress about how much you have to lose. I would like to loose another 10st! Some people on here want to lose 7lbs, some 15+ and everything in between. Everyone's journey and weight loss is their own and don't let anyone tell you different.

Good luck hun,

Natt xxx :hug99:
 
#9
i feel the same way too, ive just resently rejoined my group (5th time). i find it easier to go to class as i find it helps when someone else is keeping an eye on me. you also pick up loads of food tips.
Another reason i like going is, i find someone in the class roughly the same size as me and i try to keep up with what they lose each week, but that could be the competive side of me!

you have made your first step by noticing you need to lose weight and the rest will follow, keep positive ;)
 
#10
No no no! Please don't hate yourself. You need to get your head in the zone. You have to love yourself enough to want to do something positive for yourself, your health, your self-confidence, your relationship...you need to think of it as being good to yourself. By getting stuck into it you're going to do good things and who doesn't want to feel fantastic about what they're achieving?! :D

It's horrible feeling like you are, but most of us have gotten to that low point that you are at now. It's almost like we need to get there so we can realise how bad things are, to give us the motivation to turn ourselves around.

Don't feel silly going back. Nobody will judge you - most people have had failed attempts but the fact you're back there and want to do something..everyone will applaud you for that!

Take each step slowly and take each day as it comes...if you're head is in the right place, you can be a success...it will just click into place and the more successful you are, the more it will spur you on...you will get to where you want to be!!!
 

JestersTear

Cute, but psycho!
#11
Wen I decided that 'enough was enough' *again* I'd been crying to my other half asking how could he love me when I looked like a huge bag of potatoes!
That was last June, and I've been going to classes ever since - not missed one, actually :innocent0002: but that's only because I know that I *need* a class to keep me going...

Not everyone does though, so don't feel as though you have to attend classes. You can find books that you need on ebay, for example, and can weigh yourself in boots once a week instead.

Pop into a newsagents and buy this month's slimming world mag and give it a read, see how you feel about classes and then go for it.

In fact, why not ring up a couple of local consultants and have a chat with them? That's what I did before starting a class...

 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
#12
I think you'll feel a great sense of relief if you go back to class. Everyone is in the same boat and it helps to have a group of "friends" to share your week with. It's great on here, but class seems to refocus you every week in a way that's different. Almost like going "home".
 

victorial85

A moaning old boot!!!!
#13
I know how you feel about not wanting sex and thinking your OH cant possibly love you. I was in the same boat, my OH was lucky if he saw me in underwear let alone completely naked. Now I have lost some of the weight, he cant keep me off him haha. (sorry if this is too much info!)
You have taken the first step by deciding that you need to do something to help yourself and the way you are feeling so well done for that! There will be no group that will see you as a 'failure' as you call it, they will welcome you with open arms, they are there to help you, not to judge anybody in any way.
I wish you all the best of luck and I hope that it all works out for you x x x x
 
#14
Try not to think of urself as a failure. Try to think of this as a new start. The diet will start the day ur ready. And it sounds like after seeing that pic u have decided a new start is what u need. U can do this. I have been to so many classes, given up and restarted, but the leaders never ever make u feel bad. So swallow ur pride and go back. U can do this. Just think by the end of the year that 4stone to heavy will be a distant memory. Good luck xx
 

Donnie46

Slow but sure....
#15
There is some really good advice been given out for you on this thread......

So I just want to wish you well in your weight loss journey and welcome you to the forum.

Keep coming back here, it's wonderful, full of great people who are in the same boat as you and they are always willing to give out advice and give motivation to you.

Looking forward to seeing you on the forum, best wishes to you. X
 
#16
I know exactly how you feel... I need to lose 6 stone and it was a 'horror' pic that did it for me... the realisation hit me with a very large brick! I cried like a baby and have hated myself for a long time. I can't even get dressed in front of my other half anymore ..... So I joined SW last week and it is the end of Wk 1 today, my weigh in is tonight and hopefully I will be spurred on. I am thinking of my weight as not the mini hippo that I have to lose but rather small portions of cake one at a time....
Please don't feel crap and go for it!
Nutszx
 

henna!

I can do this............
#17
I think you have been given some fantastic advice on this thread which is one of the reasons i love this forum. Every person on here has more than likely felt the way you do right now but the main thing is you know sw work and have come onto here and admitted how you feel which is the first and hardest step.
Some people go to group some dont why not try going it alone if you dont feel you can go back to group, im sure everyone will agree with e when i say we will help you as much as we can and maybe in a few weeks when you are back into it again you might decide to join a group again.
One of the reason i decided to lose weight was a horror picture but that picture is know on the front of my fridge with all my awards so everytime i feel a wobble i look at where i started and then look at my awards to see how far i have come.
You CAN do this and im sure with the support of the fantastic people on here and your partner who obviously thinks the world of you, you WILL get to where you want to be

Good luck x
 
#18
Thank you sooooooooooo much everyone for your help and support. All of the advice is fantastic and welcoming and i need to do this i really do. We had been away for the weekend and we went out for lunch which was my last blow out.

I've ordered our online shopping to be delivered tomorrow and straight from work i am going back to class. Its only half an hour after i finish work so i used to walk around Somerfield while i was waiting and pick up prawns, quorn sausages etc

Thank you all so much for the advice i really really mean it.

I just love this forum even though I've never met any of you i feel like we're all friends. thank you. x
 

henna!

I can do this............
#20
Ahh you sound much happier than this morning and motivated too! Well done on making the first step and good luck on your journey! x