downtownsuzie
Silver Member
I've had an awful week this week, I've really feel as though I've had the world on my shoulders. Been in tears most days and expecting a gain this week as I'm one of the world's worst for emotional eating. Not writing this for sympathy, but I think that writing this out, admitting I'm not perfect and can't carry everyone else's woes as well as my own, is going to be a big step towards an easier, happier and slimmer life.
Debt worries, work worries, not-being-able-to-move-out worries as well as OH problems (mainly with his difficult ex) mean I don't really get much time to unwind and relax. I'm out of the house for 14 hours a day, so I don't get much time to be prepared food-wise which leads to me feeling like a failure every time I reach for something quick and easy for lunch. Every mouthful turning into a little bit more self hate/embarrassment/shame that I can't succeed like I want to. One problem, I think, is that by doing SW at home and using my old books, covered in my stickers from losing almost 4 stone previously, reminds me that I'm not quite as good at this as I used to be.
I don't really have any mirrors at home - only one big enough to see my face in, as I'm too embarrassed to see the rest. But today, I had a revelation. I went shopping (which is usually a nightmare) and tried on two size 10 dresses - both were too big! I looked in the full size mirror and for what is the first time I can remember, I wasn't horrified - I think I finally saw what my OH has been seeing for all this time! Its made me see that as much as I feel like I'm failing, its probably not as bad as I think. I looked curvy, not wobbly, although a little toning probably wouldn't go amiss!
Its made me realise that life isn't worth worrying about every little thing. Spending 24/7 panicking over something is not going to change the immediate outcome - I need to let go a little and enjoy the journey or I'm just gonna end up a nervous, neurotic mess.
I bought some size 10 jeans for my next goal (my bottom half is a bit bigger than my top half) - and I'm confident that i'll get into them in a few weeks. I'm joining a group on Wednesday to give me the extra little push as I know I will be getting offically weighed and can't hide behind excuses. I'll also be getting new books, so I won't have to compete with 'larger me'.
I'm me and that's that. I am who I am and nothing can change that. Gonna go and run a hot bubbly bath, light some candles, grab a book and have some me-time.
Happy sunday, lovlies x
Debt worries, work worries, not-being-able-to-move-out worries as well as OH problems (mainly with his difficult ex) mean I don't really get much time to unwind and relax. I'm out of the house for 14 hours a day, so I don't get much time to be prepared food-wise which leads to me feeling like a failure every time I reach for something quick and easy for lunch. Every mouthful turning into a little bit more self hate/embarrassment/shame that I can't succeed like I want to. One problem, I think, is that by doing SW at home and using my old books, covered in my stickers from losing almost 4 stone previously, reminds me that I'm not quite as good at this as I used to be.
I don't really have any mirrors at home - only one big enough to see my face in, as I'm too embarrassed to see the rest. But today, I had a revelation. I went shopping (which is usually a nightmare) and tried on two size 10 dresses - both were too big! I looked in the full size mirror and for what is the first time I can remember, I wasn't horrified - I think I finally saw what my OH has been seeing for all this time! Its made me see that as much as I feel like I'm failing, its probably not as bad as I think. I looked curvy, not wobbly, although a little toning probably wouldn't go amiss!
Its made me realise that life isn't worth worrying about every little thing. Spending 24/7 panicking over something is not going to change the immediate outcome - I need to let go a little and enjoy the journey or I'm just gonna end up a nervous, neurotic mess.
I bought some size 10 jeans for my next goal (my bottom half is a bit bigger than my top half) - and I'm confident that i'll get into them in a few weeks. I'm joining a group on Wednesday to give me the extra little push as I know I will be getting offically weighed and can't hide behind excuses. I'll also be getting new books, so I won't have to compete with 'larger me'.
I'm me and that's that. I am who I am and nothing can change that. Gonna go and run a hot bubbly bath, light some candles, grab a book and have some me-time.
Happy sunday, lovlies x